July 09, 2008

I'm A Bitch

You may or may not have noticed that I've been in a bit of a mood lately. Yeah, these past few days have been a source of irritation for me, amplified by the necessities of womanly nature.

Without going into incriminating details, I'll just say that I can't figure out how two people could be so ill-equipped to deal with life that their children have to consistently come to the rescue. All the damn drama, is it any wonder I take cases and cases of alcohol with me to holiday gatherings? I mean, who needs soap operas, I've got in-laws.

But they aren't as good looking. Not by a long shot.

And why is it that classmates get their panties in a twist and actually think that because they didn't receive reunion info that they're being blown off? Has it ever occurred to anyone that after twenty years, keeping track of people I barely knew back then is pretty difficult? When someone moves they don't notify me, so what the hell am I supposed to do? Hire a P.I. to find them?

F*ck no.

I'm going to admit right here and now that, in some sick, twisted way, I enjoy planning the reunions. It makes me feel like I'm doing something...but then all those effing phone calls and e-mails come in and I'm right back to flipping these assholes the double bird, just like I did twenty years ago when I graduated.

Can you believe I actually had someone ask me who was coming before he would book a plane ticket? Like if just the right people weren't there, he wasn't coming.

Well, shove your thumb up your ass and stay the fuck home.

I'm in a shitty damn mood.