How many tens?

Well! First grade math isn't hard for me, but for Son it was torture. He was practically in tears because he didn't understand and was so afraid of getting the wrong answer. But we soldiered on, giving him clues as to how to figure out how many tens and how many ones.

MOVING ON

You know what? I got my alumni magazine today from the "hotbed of liberalism" university I graduated from, and my class, 1992, had only five updates. Five. One of them was about a priest! I knew this guy in school, very nice, and I assume he's a great priest. But the class of 1992 has little to brag about this quarter.

File this under "What tha...???"

And what's the deal with buying a sonogram machine? Yeah, that's just what every woman wants! Sheesh. What's Tom afraid of, catching germs from the "common folk" at the obstetrician's office? My gawd.

Silent birth. Yeah, okay. You show me a woman who's never made a peep while giving birth!

While Tom Cruise isn't jumping up and down on couches anymore, I still say he's batshit crazy.

Something Cute

But that's not the cute thing.

The next song was "Whole Lotta Shakin'" by Jerry Lee Lewis. As Daughter was sitting in the cart itself, not the seat in front, she was doing some shaking of her own. She was wiggling her little diapered rear in time to the music. It was pretty cute, and funny.

Preschool Discussion

I have my opinion, but I want to hear yours!

I found this to be particularly interesting:

"Both sides agree: universal preschool involves increasing government's 'parental' role regarding children."

Hmmmm?

Fatty Fat Ass

And as the owner of a ample arse, it's no laughing matter....

Oh, who am I kidding? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAW...

Get the long needles for Groovy's bum!

Be alert

First of all, I know no one named Tom, and whoever wrote this perfectly centered note spelled "sixties" wrong. I'm anal about spelling, so when I saw this I hit "delete" and that was that.

So, be on the lookout.

It really is a myth!

And I snore. There, I said it.

When I saw this article I said "Well, DUH!" because hey, we all need our zzzzz's.

First Card of the Season

This isn't a new thing, as I've gotten Christmas cards from the White House since Bush took office, but this year I haven't given as much $$$ to the RNC as I have in the past.

I should send them one, don't you think? I mean, my cards don't have a pretty painting of the magnolia tree and the three poochies frolicking in the snow, but my younglings are just as cute.

Break is over

The only thing that truly sucks about Son going back to school is that I finally got him and Daughter over their snot noses and coughing. Well, Son is still a bit stuffed up, but he isn't going through a box of Kleenex a day. (The boy will not blow the nose!) But I guarantee you that by this time next week Son will be coughing up a lung again.

I really should look into buying stock in PediaCare, I go through so much at this time of year. Remind me, will you, to put that cough medicine on my le Mart de Wal shopping list for next week.

And so the Christmas season in elementary school begins. His Christmas program is in two weeks, anyone want to go? Perfect chance to experience the "outskirts of WV" as I refer to our corner of OH. We're considered Appalachia over here...!!!

Well, I guess I should wander over to the kitchen and pack Son's lunch.

It's official!

It's a short book...

h/t: Ex-Donkey

Pimpin'

But, PS, if you do read this, I refer to you as "Prodigal Son" because...well, go read the story. You know, you had visited so rarely in the past...get it??? Where's my fatted calf anyway???

And, by the way, I pimped my pimp the other day. Yeah, I pulled out the Black Eyed Peas to listen to at the MIL's, and said that I only got turned on to it because of my pimp, which made everyone stop and listen.

See Hector Vex? I speak very highly of you!

That...that...ugh...that woman

The younglings are in the background chanting "poopyhead." Coincidence???

Sexy Sexy

Now, you all know my vote would be for Ewan, but he isn't on the ballot (boooooo), but in all honesty I'd have to say the Husband is pretty damn sexy!

Random Ewan McGregor picture post

As Curt Wild in Velvet Goldmine.

Interesting discussion

Anyhoo, we got to talking about Episode III (mostly because I'd been swooning over Ewan McGregor all day) and Stewie just came right out and said "George Lucas can't write dialog" or some such, but he basically said that. "And," said Stewie, "that kid he picked to play Anakin can't act."

I had to agree. After watching that movie a few more times (mostly to drool over Obi-Wan) I realized why Hayden Christensen was called "Mannequin Skywalker." Can you say wooden?

But whooooooo cares, the boy is eye candy for me, and I'm looking at Obi-Wan anyway. After having seen some of McGregor's other movie roles, I have this to say: There should have been more nude scenes in Episodes I through III. Yeah, show off that lightsaber, Obi-Wan.

Hmmmm...do you think I like that guy or something?

Well, at any rate, talking with Stewie is always fun.

Jury Duty

Why do I find this so funny? I heard about this on Wednesday and I'm still laughing over it.

Ha ha ha haw tee hee....

Talk about a reamin' rod

There are no words...

Hate me...

I'm back...

Thanksgiving with the in-laws wasn't bad at all, in fact I was a lovely person, if I do say so myself. But it was a very long day, and we were all tired.

The hotel room we stayed in wasn't the greatest, but it was warm and served the intended purpose, plus we had a fridge and a microwave, so we could have snacks and stuff. The younglings were excited to be away from home and watch Nickelodeon in a different place.

I missed seeing my sister; they were "bored" and the weather was making them a bit wussy, so they were gone by the time I got to my mother's on Friday. My mom was happy to see the younglings, and I was happy to just sit and rest and watch How the West Was Won on TCM.

It feels like I spent more time with the in-laws, which, as it turns out, wasn't so bad. Last night the SIL who lives in Cali took my picture, and I said "Oh, so you can go back and say 'this is my evil Rethuglican sister-in-law who voted for Chimpy McHilterHalliburtonPoopyPants twice.'" She looked at me sort of funny and said no she wouldn't...but I wasn't allowed to bring up politics when she was around. I was so tired last night that I slumped over my Coca-Cola and snorted every time I laughed and kept saying "who who who who let the dogs out?" (There are a lot of dogs at the MIL's house.)

If I think of any good stories I'll post those later. My mind is all over right now, what with unpacking and all that.

Oh yeah, and if any of you heard the weather reports, yes it was crappy and nasty, but we got to Erie on Wednesday with no problems at all. Yes, it snowed like crazy, but we grew up there and learned how to drive in that stuff, so we knew what we were doing.

Ugh, I'm going to bed now!

Linky Love

I love this blog! Anna is also a fellow Big & Rich fan! She's also a big supporter of our military, which earns high marks in my book.

So go, check her out!

I'm outta here

We're out of here around noon today; I'm sitting down briefly to mess around online for a bit before I have to get back to gathering the stuff we need for the trip. We'd like to try to beat all the snow that's coming (apparently it's just crossing the border into OH, so we should beat it). As we'll be up around Lake Erie....yuck, right back into the lake effect mess. Good thing the brakes on La Tahoe are all brand new!

Happy Thanksgiving! Don't eat too much, enjoy your families!

Thank Your First Commenter Day

Junebee was my third commenter, and I'm expressing the love and appreciation for sticking around through all my rants and blah blah blah. Love, love, love!!

Actually, thanks to all my commenters who have come and gone!

h/t: TWM

Heloooooo? It was just a movie!

And he, obviously, is not Andrew McCarthy.

"Nothin's gonna stop us now...and if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other..."

h/t: Ex-Donkey

BTW...

GM to close 12 plants

Damn the trolls

The Jawa Report sums this all up nicely; follow the links from there and show support for Grey Eagle.

Give. Me. A. BREAK!

h/t: Ex-Donkey for the info

Baby aspririn and mortality

Without going into what happened to his mother, I'll just say that she's in the hospital for tests and observation. The problem has been caught early and can be treated, and if she follows the prescribed course she'll be fine. My grandmother had the same problem.

Saturday night, however, when all the siblings-in-law and Husband were upset and worried because their mother wouldn't go to the emergency room, I looked at Husband and said "You know, my father was stubborn too and wouldn't go to the doctor. You know where he is now." That snapped Husband's head up, and I think it sank in.

Like I said, his mother is fine, she should be home today; Husband is up there now.

When I heard what my MIL's problem was, I said "Tell her to take an aspirin" and I think everyone thought I was nuts. But do you know what the hospital is giving her? Baby aspirin. Maybe Groovy isn't so stupid after all!

I told my mother yesterday "Another holiday, another in-law health problem." See, last Christmas my mother and step-father had the unfortunate surprise of finding my step-dad's brother...dead....shot himself in the head. Uh-huh, isn't nice how these things happen and now holidays have a taint to them now?

DON'T SLAM THE DOOR!!!!!

The other day I put a pretty heavy doorstop in front of her door to prevent her from slamming it, and do you know what she did? She picked up the flippin' thing, moved it, and slammed the door.

It's enough to make a preacher swear.

Harry Potter

Nope, I turned around and went shopping instead.

Maybe another time.

I hope you're sitting down...

Nancy Pelosi quoted Nicholson: "You can't handle the truth!" and I wanted to puke.

I heard praise for Murtha, little else, but then I fell asleep around 10:15.

(Believe it or not, I actually do watch something besides Nickelodeon.)

I won't go into what I think we should do, because it might call down the wrath of the Left.

80's movie character

What 80's teen movie Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Funny, I would have thought I was more of a Ferris Bueller type...

h/t: A Rose By Any Other Name

Speaking of Law & Order...

tee hee: Wuzzadem

...???...

Bonehead.

h/t: Euphoric Reality

This is why...

Gary, the Ex-Donkey, has "Given Up on Boston Legal"

HE!D! at Euphoric Reality reports on the fallout from Wednesday night's Law & Order episode

I stopped watching NBC (because that's the only network we get out here without the satellite) long ago, after ER started jumping on the anti-war bandwagon, and I pitched L&O when that blonde assitant DA got on her Lib highhorse with Fred Thompson's character.

Is it any wonder why I watch a lot of Jimmy Neutron these days???!!!

I finally grew a spine

Yesterday I was talking with my mother, as I do every day, and she asked if my kids could stay at her house while we are visiting next week. I told her that I've already planned on the kids staying with her on Friday night.

"What about the other nights?" she whined.

So I said, get ready: "Mom, those kids are going to be all tired and cranky Thursday night. They won't have napped, will be all wound up, and probably won't have eaten anything. Do you really want to deal with that? No, they'll be staying with us in the hotel until Friday when they come to your house."

"Okay, I concede. You're right, and I wouldn't want to deal with cranky kids either" said my mother.

WOOOOOOOO! I finally, after all this time, stood up to my mother! It felt good, too.

"Red & Blue"

They focused a lot on the blue state family's experiences in Clinton, LA, but it was interesting nonetheless. The Libs got to experience a Presbyterian church, firing weapons, a down home diner (with smoking, which set the obnoxious 20 year old daughter into a fit), and the long haired son voluntarily, voluntarily, went to a military discipline center. I mean, the kid went through what most new recruits in Basic go through, and his parents were in the background boo-hooing.

The Conservatives, on the other hand, were in Topanga, CA, a hippie settlement, I kid you not. They walked Venice Beach, remarked over all the anti-Bush gear, and even went to an anti-war protest.

Like I said, they spent a lot more time focusing on the Lib family's experiences, but at the end they came together after Katrina. The blue staters went down to LA to volunteer, and the mothers of the two families formed a friendship.

I wish I could link to some info, but the website for the Discovery channel isn't cooperating with my slow connection speed. But you all go over there, see if you can find out if they'll be showing "Red & Blue" again anytime this weekend.

Not P.C.

Yes, I said CHRISTMAS! No more "Happy Holidays" stuff for me, I'm calling it what it is and who ever has a problem with it can stuff their thumb up their bums.

Anyone who would like to get one of these lovely cards, however, can e-mail me. You can find my e-mail address on my profile page.

Attention all SUV haters!

That's fine for him, since he already drives a compact car, but for me it's like driving a really zippy golf cart. I feel like my arse is going to get road rash from riding so close to the pavement.

I got a Kia Rio. It's okay, I guess, but there's that whole thing about getting used to being so much lower and smaller, and I keep thinking I'm longer than I really am. Throws off my perception when I'm turning around.

Well, why bitch, as I don't have too much I've got to do in the next few days, and with this tiny turd I'm driving I'll get where I'm going a lot quicker.

"Ten Years Gone"

Time to dig out the box set, I think. It's been a while...

I like this...

Husband doesn't think much of these, but I think they're classy looking.

*sigh*

If I had about $31,000 to throw around I just might think about getting one of these.

I've got a snowball's chance...

Nudge, nudge...

Look at what I got in the mail today!

Buried Treasure

Today it was: a blue crayon; a plastic knife from Daughter's "picnic" set; a Magnetix ball from Son's magnet set; a piece of Anakin's Jedi Starfighter that Son thought he lost.

I wish I could find money in the damn thing!

Home for the Holidays

I do not want to go.

There's a reason why, but I won't go into it here. Let's just say it has something to do with the "prodigal son" in Husband's family, and I'm a bit resentful of the fact that we have to go up there.

My bigger gripe right now is why in the hell is it now, when we're not only planning a trip but getting ready for the holidays that La Tahoe decides she needs to go to the shop? Oh yeah, this is a big deal around here, as Husband's car is pooping out too. We have to rent a car so one of us has something to drive, and as soon as La Tahoe is done we then have to swap out with the Mazda so it can be looked at.

Why now? I have appointments, things that need to get done; on Friday I'm going to have lunch with Son at school.

Better to be safe than sorry; I'd hate to break down somewhere between here and Erie.

I do not want to go. I wish I could stuff you all in my suitcase and take you along...you know, for rational conversation!!!

It ain't Star Wars

This ain't Star Wars and he's certainly not Obi-Wan Kenobi in this one.

If I was, oh, say, back in college and still drinking heavily I could get into this movie, but now...well...the best part of the movie was seeing McGregor jump around without his pants on. Yep, full frontal.

Nice "lightsaber!"

Anyone want to borrow this DVD???? Email me, let me know.

Walk the Line

Anyway, I'm really excited to see this movie, because I've been seeing bits and pieces of it, on CMT and what not, and wow! I saw a picture of Shooter Jennings, who portrays his father Waylon in the flick, in my CMT magazine and he cleans up! He's cute! Of course, Waylon was handsome too, before he got that hair and the beard. Shooter should stay clean shaven, but that's just my opinion.

But have you seen some of the "first look" stuff out there? It really looks good. I mean, go see it for the music alone!

Oh for crying out loud!

Tonight, on Nickelodeon, Clinton is going to be at a town meeting to talk about being overweight. With kids. And our kids are being told about this, via commercials that air while they're watching their favorite shows.

Now look, I know that overweight kids are a problem in this country (although not in my house), but why, why why does Bubba have to get into this? That man will do anything, say anything, to get his fat face on camera.

Damn that man.

Chuck E Cheese and Pez

I did see the Pro Football Hall of Fame. It isn't that hard to get to.

Anyway, that party made what we had for Son look tame in comparison. I quickly grew to hate Chuck E Cheese. The pizza smelled like vomit. The other mom and I were only too happy to see the presents opened and the cake cut; that meant we could take our leave.

A very tiring and long day.

On an up note, however, we did see some "Go Home Cindy Sheehan" signs. I laughed and laughed and laughed...

This morning Son got into his Star Wars Pez dispensers. Daughter got a hold of one and proceeded to crack Son in the head with it. Great start to a Sunday morning.

I swear, this ear infection is driving me nuts. I'm on meds for it, but I have this urge to shove a Q-Tip into my eardrum and let the goo drip out. I can literally turn a deaf ear on my family!!!

Deep Thoughts

I guess I'd rather hear her blather about her broken marriage.

h/t: Are You Conservative?

Didja hear it?

h/t: The American Princess

Don't hate me

Thank God for Wal-Mart, that's all I'm saying.

Anyone want a Christmas card? That's next on my "to-do" list.

Thank You

Stupid Illiterate Bastard

WARNING: Don't read this unless you're ready to get terrible eye strain (take some Tylenol first) and don't read this with the kids around. As poorly spelled as it is, one can figure out what this asshat is trying to say.

Jackass.

Yeah Mrs. Partridge!

Meeting with the teacher

I saw the doc today, and she prescribed antibiotics and a decongestant. My head feels like it has been stuffed with one of my couch cushions...a nauseating feeling that makes me feel like I'm about to fall over and throw up.

So, I'm not really looking forward to going out, but I do have to get my scrips filled.

Random Ewan McGregor picture post

Didja vote?

Touch screen voting this time, and since I'd researched the issues and candidates, it was bingbangboom I was done. A lot nicer than poking holes in ballots

Issue 1 passed.

Issues 2-5 did not, so there!

What? Huh? What did you say???

Dammit.

Rah Rah Sis-Boom-Bah!

Gross. A bathroom stall? In a bar? Bleeeech...

I understand gettin' your groove on and all that, but ick.

via: Wizbang

It's November 8

My brush with fame

I hung up on him.

Get stuffed on Tang, John Glenn!

True Confession

Okay, yes, the whole thing with Christopher Knight a.k.a. Peter Brady has been like a car wreck for me, I can't not watch it.

And, in my past, I was in a relationship where the guy was older (although not half my age, but older) so I watched this and thought "Oh crap, how in the hell did I get on TV?" Because Adrianne Curry sounds exactly like I did.

I obviously didn't wind up with that guy....

So fine, yes, I've been hooked into that whole "Celebreality" thing.

Anybody watching Breaking Bonaduce? That man has issues...

UPDATE, MONDAY MORNING: Here's a really good summary of last night's My Fair Brady. Yep, it was all just one big hunk of cheese, but hey, don't we all need something truly mindless to watch once in a while???

I'm starting to think Peter Brady is an old wanker, but you be the judge.

Thanks, but no thanks, you jackass

Only this time it was a pre-recorded call from some Congressman telling me, urging me, to vote "yes" on 2,3,4, and 5 on Tuesday. What's this? Only that left leaning Reform Ohio garbage.

"Send a message to George Bush..." the guy said.

"F***ing Democrats" I said as I hung up.

I hate beetles

Bastards. Even my shirt smells now, as I had about a half dozen land on me in the less than a minute it took to walk to my mailbox and back.

Just another fun-filled Saturday afternoon!

"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi..."

Attack of the Clones?

I know diapers are always appreciated, so pop on over and send him some, willya?

She, he, it?

A day I remember

I'm not posting about this for sympathy. I got enough of that nine years ago. I don't really know why I'm sharing this, I guess maybe I'm ready to talk about it. I don't talk about this with anyone, not even my husband or my mother.

My father was only 55 when he died of congestive heart failure. The coroner said my dad wasn't in any pain, that he'd just passed out and then died. That's the only thing that to this day gives me any comfort, as my dad was alone and died in the fucking garage next to the garbage can. It's humiliating enough to have been alone, but to have been in the garage. (He apparently was taking old newspapers out to the garbage.)

I'll also never forget how, when I came home from work, my mother was sobbing. The coroner had found my mom's address (I was still single and living with my mom and step-dad) and they came and told mom about my dad. The fact that my mother was crying so much said something about her character, as obviously my parents were divorced. All Mom said to me was "The coroner was here..." and I knew. My step-father caught me as I fell on the floor. I hit all the stages of accepting death all at once, but I seem to still be angry, even now.

My dad was 55! He didn't have to die! But he felt sorry for himself after the divorce, drank too much, had a terrible diet, never did anything.

And how can I mourn someone I never knew? Sure, he is partially responsible for giving me life, but what else did he do? He certainly wasn't a good father, and I never even really had a conversation with him until I was in college. He used to tell me about his time in the Army (yes, he served, all you Libs out there) and how he'd been a General's driver in D.C. Dad would go on and on about the Smithsonian...

I had to bury my father at the same time I was planning my wedding. That fucking funeral director! I'll never forget how he opened the double doors to the room that housed the caskets; like it was a goddamn Cadillac showroom or something! I remember standing in the doorway, hysterical laughter in my head; surely this wasn't real. I should have been picking out flowers and limos for my big day, not arranging a spray of roses for my dad's casket.

The whole thing sucked. Husband, who at the time was just BoyfriendAboutToBeHusband, was overseas and his family was, well, they just sent flowers, that was it.

Like I do almost every day, I wonder if my father would have been a better grandparent than parent. What would he have thought of his grandson and granddaughter? It's hard to explain to Son, who's six, about my dad, his grandfather, but someday I will. Son already knows kids in his class who have divorced parents...

I still feel like I never knew my father. I would give all that inheritance - the money, the house, the car, the stocks - back in a heartbeat to have my dad back. To go to D.C. and spend hours in the Smithsonian with him. To talk, just talk about his life, his family. All the family history is gone, the family name is gone.

I've got the money, I sold the house and the car, I've got the stocks...hell, I've even got my father's eyes and poor eyesight, his temperament, his love of books, his love of beer and all things alcohol (although I handle it better)...but that's it. And sometimes it isn't enough.

Not gonna do it!

Why? Well, for one, I don't really like Jake Gyllennnnlalalalalhalalalalalalhallallaalala, who really should be called "Jughead," and second, because I would never willingly walk up to a Marine and call him a Jarhead to his face, so I guess I don't care for the title of the movie.

Is is a swipe at the futility of war? Is is a commentary on how un-ready our military is for action? An allusion to the movies (Apocalypse Now) that shaped our collective idea of war?

As to the sexual frustration, well hey people, it isn't only the military folks who get all charged up with nowhere to go. Let me tell you how it is on the civilian side of things!

No, maybe not.

But anyway, not gonna do it. Not gonna see this flick. Nope. I expect there will be those out there (and you know who they are) who will fly into orgasmic fits over this.

Get those panties twisted!!!

I wonder, though, if this new strategery will cause the Left to boycott Destiny's Child, Garth, and the rest of the celebs...like my personal boycott of all things Dixie Chicks, George Clooney...

Like I said, anything that gets Libs' panties in a bunch. All I know is Daughter fell in love with that giant snowglobe Christmas lawnornament thingahootch we saw up at evil Wal-Mart the other day.

Thanx for the tip: thirdee

Health update

Husband, bless him, took the day off to take care of me, and it really is a big help, as every time I get up I just about fall over, so it's been nice to have him around to help with Daughter and all that.

So, it's out there and it's already going around, I'm proof of that. Wash your hands!

I'm going back to bed.

Random Ewan McGregor picture post

Sick, I am...

Now, I'm going to go brush my teeth, get Daughter up, and go get Son at school so he can get his (tweet, tweet) flu shot.

Who?

Look, I've said before that I didn't know anything about Harriet Whozinwhattle a few weeks ago...except that she does look like Palpatine. Seriously, watch the flicks, make the comparison! And what, is she buying stock in an eyeliner manufacturer or something? Ease up, lady.

So, Alito, is that it? Honestly, I have no idea, so I shan't make any comment. I did hear, though, some stuff on the conservative morning talk program I listen to from time to time, and the little I heard on Alito sounded pretty good. Anything that gets the Dem's panties in a bunch is fine with me.

Don't come here expecting a gripping discussion of current events, because I can't tell you the last time I watched the news or listened to any talk radio for longer than 20 minutes.

Oh please, I've got things to do people. I leave that gripping commentary to those that have the time, energy, and patience to research and what not. I've been too busy trying to shampoo my carpets, get Daughter to sit on the potty, truck the kids to the doc, listen to my kids hack up a lung...you know, life and stuff.

Honestly, though, I would love to be able to do nothing but keep up to date as to what's going on. I missed a "Meet the Candidates" meeting last night because Daughter was so miserable.

Keep me posted!

"They're Here"

I saw this waaaaaaay back when it was first released in the theaters, because it had Speilberg's name on it, and I'd just seen E.T. and so, there you go. This was not the same thing as E.T. as we all found out. I lived in fear of my closet for weeks.

So, last night, after having seen this movie several times, I still had to cover my eyes when that guy spits out the chicken leg after seeing that steak crawl across the counter and runs into the bathroom and then he....remember that scene? I'm 35 years old and I still had to cover my eyes!

It was after that scene that Husband said "I'm going to bed, you can stay up to watch the rest." Whereupon I told him he was a crackhead if he thought I was going to watch that movie alone.

I know, I know, I'm a bit too old to be freaked out by movies, but I can't help it.

This never gets boring

Yeah, you know I'm going straight up to Wal-Mart as soon as Son's on the bus. And you know I'm going to watch this all afternoon, pausing on the yummy Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan.

"Well hello there!" Oh yeah, you're mine, Obi-Wan! And that eye candy Anakin doesn't hurt either.

WOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Happy National Author's Day!