Happy Happy!

Did I mention today is Swooner Dreamboat's birthday???

It's gonna HURT!

I've got to go fuel up La Tahoe today, and I barely have enough gas to go the five miles to the nearest gas station.

It's going to be painful. I'm back to only putting only a certain dollar amount in the truck. I'm not happy!

I should just get a couple horses and a buggy.

"Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry,
When I take you out in my surrey..."

Happy Birthday Swooner Dreamboat!!

They've found me

I guess it was only a matter of time before the Trekkies found me.

I tried to offer up my reason for liking Star Wars....Ewan McGregor! Well, that and that classic good vs. evil theme, but mostly McGregor.

Oh well. Like I say, that's the beauty of being able to have opinions.

I'm laughing...tee hee...*snort*

That didn't last long

That other blog of mine? Well, I deleted the post about it...took it off the blogroll...and deleted it entirely from Blogsnot yesterday.

Gone. Gone with the wind, you might say. I'm spoiled by Munuviana; I just can't do the Blogger thing again. Maybe I'll just give my book reviews here.

BTW, Clark Gable? Not gay. The biography by Warren G. Harris was excellent, I highly recommend it.

Shutupshutupshutup!

If I have to sit through those damn Jack Black "Nicka-nicka-lodeon" commercials all day every day until Saturday I'm going to smash the TV with a base-base-baseball bat!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Damn you to hell, Jack Black. DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!

Bringin' on the heartache...

Def Leppard is touring! Weeeeee!!!!!

I wonder if I can get Husband to take me to see them. I LOVE the bass player.

??

I don't even know what to call this post, it's so humiliating...but I had to share.

Yesterday morning I was in the lavatory taking care of, um, certain feminine issues, when Daughter wandered in and took the paper strip that one peels off the back of feminine hygiene items.

I didn't realize until we got out of La Tahoe at Wal-Mart that Daughter still had a grip on that thing. She would not leave it in the truck, oh no! She carried that paper strip all the way in to the store, whereupon she dropped it on the floor by the carts. I grabbed it and threw it away, but not before half a dozen people saw me.

I am not...

I am not white trash...I still have all my own teeth! There are certain members of my family (hint, hint) who may want to take this, though.

I am 32% White Trash.

The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.

Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom

Have a drink on me: Sadie!!

Yeah! What he said!

The Wandering Mind sums it all up.

I especially like what one commenter said:

"...if you want to win the sympathy of the voting public, putting down the very country you suckle from isn't the wisest way of doing it."

I wonder, though, what would happen if we tried to pull a stunt like this in another country like, oh...somewhere in Europe or (gasp!) the Middle East. We'd probably be beaten, at the very least.

Building the perfect man

Obi-Wan to be exact.

Husband and I have discovered a passion for jigsaw puzzles, and we're starting on our second Star Wars puzzle. One of those nifty double-sided ones; this time we're doing the Jedi side first.

We're working on it down in the basement, on our big, round coffee table. Tonight Husband said "Here's your man...his eyes...his hair..."

So I set to work putting Obi-Wan (Swooner Dreamboat) together.

Yeah, you know I was enjoying that.

Snort Worthy

This is just one of the reasons I stopped selling MaryKay:

"The neighbors said those weapons, along with catlike stealth, have allowed Lewis to attack at least a half dozen people and ambush the Avon lady as she was getting out of her car."

We gonna party like it's your birthday

Guess who has a birthday coming up???

Love that mustache....

Trampolina

Sharon Stone tells teens to just have oral sex.

Her parents must be so proud.

If she ever handed either of my kids a condom and told them to have oral sex instead, I'd smash her face in. What right does she have? Bitch.

What kills me is, I'm pretty familiar with where she's from in PA. Stone claimes it's Meadville, PA but it's really closer to a town called Saegertown, pretty humble beginnings. I suppose all those people in that area would really appreciate a hometown gal telling there kids to just suck it, huh?

Gawd I loathe this woman.

I want to prevent the spread of AIDS too, but by telling kids to abstain from having sex! Have some pride, kids!

h/t to Wuzzadem for linking to this

Schweaty Balls

Yep, ole' Schweaty Balls Alec Baldwin got his panties in a twist with Sean Hannity.

I'm no Hannity fan, but I did listen to a bit of his program on the way home from the hospital yesterday, and he had his engineer on there to swear none of the audio clips were altered or faked.

It's true, they weren't, because the Pittsburgh talk radio station I listen to played the same audio clips yesterday morning.

Am I the only one getting sick and tired of these actors throwing their two cents in about politics? For crap's sake...now Charlie Sheen is opening his mouth. Thanks, but no thanks, Charlie; if you're getting frustrated about your divorce (because you can't keep your pants buttoned) don't sit around spouting the moonbat 9/11 theories. What a boob.

As for Baldwin, well, he'd better watch himself around contractors and construction workers. Dumbass.

Hey, why not let a right-thinking housewife from OH throw her opinion in the ring? It makes about as much sense as listening to some of those Hollywood Libs.

Nada, Zip, Zilch

The doctor called about twenty minutes ago, and the scan came back negative. No tumors, fluid, nothing, just a bad sinus infection, which is what Husband and I suspected all along.

The doc is calling in a scrip for more amoxicillan, and I'm to call back on Thursday to let him know how Son is doing.

To say I'm relieved is an understatement. Once I was done talking to the doc, I sat there and thanked God...then I hurried up and called Husband to give him the news.

I hope this scrip finally knocks this stuff out of Son. This is getting a bit ridiculous!

Blogging Black-Out

It goes without saying that I probably won't be around much today after 9 A.M. or so. I want to keep the phone line open so the doctor can get in touch with me about yesterday.

This may explain why I made a point of getting up early and throwing a couple posts up.

Look at it this way, if I'm not blogging I'm getting stuff done around the house!

At least it's not "Prune"

Ah, Gwyneth Paltrow. No one can ever accuse her of not being creative when it comes to her childrens' names. The latest is, if child #2 is a boy, she wants to name him Mortimer.

I'm glad she's fond of her godfather and all, but Mortimer??? Hello?

When I was expecting, I browsed baby name websites, looked through the Bible; when I was pregnant with Son and still working, an older lady asked what names I'd picked. After I told her, she got a big smile on her face and said "Those are lovely names!"

Gawd, Gwynnie, if you're going to saddle your kids with absurd or out of date names, why not just call your kids "Kick the shit out of me" and "Never going to get laid" right now.

Gentlemen, grab your cups!!!

I heard about this on Rush yesterday: "...stem cells in adult mouse testicles that have properties similar to those of embryonic stem cells."

So if this can work, and adult human males have these cells too...look out!!! Guard your front!

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you

Ask me how my day was. Go ahead...

I took Son to school to talk to the teacher about Son's balance issues. While I was out doing that, Husband called the doctor's office and was told we'd get a call back. Needless to say, I couldn't get online at all until the doc called, so I spent the morning trying to keep my mind off the matter at hand by doing laundry and other boring chores around the house.

The doc finally called around 1:00 P.M. and once I told him Son wasn't showing any improvement, he said he'd order a CAT scan. Okay, ten minutes later I got the call from the nurse...get Son in NOW. Dammit. So I did.

So Son experienced a CAT scan. He did well, I'll say that, but I could tell he was scared to death...and what six year old can hold still that long?

I should know something tomorrow.

I AM...

You Are Coke

A true original and classic, you represent the best of everything you can offer. Just the right amount of sweet, just the right amount of energy... you're the life of the party. Your best soda match: Mountain Dew Stay away from:Dr Pepper

I'm hating this

Son just fell with a boom. He'd apparently gotten out of bed and WHAM! Then he staggered and weaved out to the bathroom.

I don't want to make a huge deal out of this around Son, but this bugs me to no end; I'm hating that he can't walk from his bed to the toilet without literally bouncing off the walls.

I'm going to take him to school tomorrow so I can have a talk with the teacher. Maybe she can keep an eye on him, make sure he's not bouncing around like a pinball machine.

This. SUCKS!

It could be worse...

...and I sincerely hope it won't be.

Husband wound up taking Son in to see the doc this morning because Son has been staggering around the house. The doc suspects an inner ear infection; Son's had that stuffy nose and what not since before Christmas and no amount of antibiotics has cleared it up. Although Son's ears and throat are fine, he's still falling over and losing his balance. I didn't know this, but he fell down at school...and he fell off the bus the other day when he got home from school.

The doc wants us to keep an eye on Son until Monday. If Son doesn't seem to improve the doc wants to schedule a CT scan. If Son starts getting headaches or throws up, then we really have to worry.

Okay...but what worries me is that Son was having some pretty bad headaches over Christmas break, but he wasn't sick to his stomach or anything.

When Husband and Son got home, Son fell flat on his face walking into the house.

I'm worried. I know, I should say I pray, it's not something brain related. Please, please just let it be an inner ear thing. I'd even go through ear tubes with Son, just please don't let it be something really bad.

And you wonder...

...why I've started watching General Hospital again?

Well, I've had three sick people to contend with over the past week and a half, with the oldest being a not so good patient.

Husband would go to bed, toss and turn for a bit, then come out to the living room, toss and turn for a bit, go back into the bedroom...it was a pattern that got on my nerves. He's doing better today, although he now has what he calls a "smoker's cough" and he doesn't smoke. He sounds like a wounded goose or something.

Daughter sounds eerily like Demi Moore right now, all raspy voiced. Son, now he's the one I'm worried about. He's started walking around like a drunk but claims he doesn't feel dizzy or have a headache. I don't know, maybe this is his way of trying to get some attention, what with everyone being sick. Maybe this cold has thrown him for a loop, I don't know, but it is a bit disconcerting to see one's child weaving around the house.

So last night I opted to sleep on the couch because I didn't want to sleep with my goosey sounding husband and be coughed all over. Since I was awake I decided to watch GH on SoapNet instead of taping it...my god why do I do this to myself? How many times are Jax and Carly going to make cow eyes at each other? They were actually playing footsies! Just do it already. And Rick Springfield looks rode hard and put away wet. And he pouts too much.

But at least it's a solid hour I can sit and not have to think about the real world. and it's also an uninterrupted hour where I can sit and roll my eyes at the absurdity of it all...and wonder why I'm wasting an hour.

Here We Go Again

Now Easter is coming under attack.

What a bunch of tripe. I mean, a happy rabbit with a basket of eggs is considered offensive? A season of rebirth is now offensive?

Is there no end to this crap???

Llama Booze

I've got to get me some of this stuff. I need to expand my palate past screw-top Riunite.

Eew. Just EEEWWWW!!

I'm all for having babies for the right reasons, you know that, but this is just...eeewwww.

Where do I start? First of all, Brit opted for a C-section because she didn't want to experience pain. Okay, whatever, I'm leaving that one alone. But heaping praise and credit on her? Just her? What about the millions of other women who have babies?

And I know what the pregnant body looks like. In my opinion, it ain't art. This is a definite case of beauty being in the eye of the beholder. I wouldn't have called either of my childbirth experences art worthy, although I did feel rather like a Picasso painting once it was all said and done.

I say good for any woman who decides to have a baby for the right reasons. But Brit ain't the only one to squeeze out a pup. Good Lord.

Another take on this from The Superficial.

Patient #3

It's official, Husband is sick. Sicker than the kids were...he threw up; thankfully I was out running errands with Daughter when that happened.

I'm just now sitting down with my laptop. I woke up late and had to call Husband's boss first thing. I had to then call my mother to make sure I had everything necessary to help with nausea, and I didn't. After I got Son on the bus, Daughter and I made a run to Wal-Mart to get some Coke and ginger ale, more Tylenol and some TheraFlu.

Oh yeah, while at Wal-Mart I did pick up some Groovy Eggs. I'm going to put them in my crystal basket and use that as a centerpiece.

Things are a bit settled, for the moment at least. I've still got to take a shower and deal with laundry. It's going to be a long day.

Paging Dr. Groovy

Husband came home at 3:00 P.M. today and went straight to bed. He's still sleeping now, and I doubt he'll go to work tomorrow. No fever yet, but if this is anything like Son had, or Daughter has now...he's going to be down for the count the entire weekend.

Daughter is doing better, after having reached a temp of 104 yesterday. She must be feeling better, she's been harassing her brother since he got home from school.

So, I'm going to have to nurse my family for a few more days.

I wonder who the hell is going to nurse me if I get this stuff too?

For the Parents

BrianB raises an interesting question regarding keeping one's child out of mischief with a straight face.

I don't know if my comment was accepted or not, but I think he's handling this the right way. All kids are going to explore and get into stuff they shouldn't. Keeping a straight face is the hard part, but I usually walk around the corner of the room and giggle into a pillow or something.

And Brian! When The Lad gets a bit older, try Play-Doh for the developing motor skills. That's what was recommended for my son when his fine motor skills weren't up to par. That and some lacing beads.

They Start Early

At 6:15 this morning, Daughter and I are sitting on the couch watching TV together. She's sipping some much needed water and munching some dry Cheerios (she ate and drank very little yesterday) and I'm enjoying my coffee. We're watching Nickelodeon, "As Told By Ginger" to be exact, when a "Nick News Brief" or whatever comes on.

I've never been a Linda Ellerbee fan, nor will I watch Nick News. These are the same people who made Bill Clinton the poster child for fat kids, and we all know how I loathe Bill Clintion in any capacity.

Anyway, the topic for the news brief was military recruiters in high schools. There was a girl arguing for recruiters, and a weenie boy who needed a haircut arguing against. The points that the young lady gave were appropriate and factual, while what the boy said sounded like he was reading out of Vanity Fair magazine.

I got disgusted and e-mailed Husband at work...at his Guard base. I wondered to him if now I have to monitor what the kids watch at 6:00 in the morning! Bad enough my kids have to see those Bratz Babies and Barbie Bling Bling commercials...

If anyone is interested in what I think, I have no problem with military recruiters in high schools and colleges. If one wants to get fiscal, these public schools take federal funds... And why shouldn't kids know what else is out there? I went to school with a kid who couldn't have afforded college, so he joined the Army. He did his required time; he didn't leave the States! My own father was in the Army during Vietnam and he never left the States either!

Seeing as how my own husband, my younglings' father, is in the military, I obviously have no problem with either one of my kids making the decision to join either the Guard or the active military. I must confess that it's sort of a dream of mine that one of my kids goes to the Air Force Academy...not Husbands' though. He'd like them to start in the Guard; keep it in the family.

I know the risks. I'm not that stupid. My goodness, didn't I help Husband pack up his gear to go to Saudi Arabia after 9/11?

I'm venting, I know, but I resent very much some channel aimed at children starting to preach the Liberal tripe. Husband won't push his way of thinking, but he will let the kids know that joining the Guard is an option.

Visit Today

President Bush will be in my area today. No, I'm not going. It's only open to the Chamber of Commerce members, their employess...stuff like that. So, I'll have to content myself with watching it on the local news.

For what it's worth, I did see President Bush speak when he was on the campaign trail in 2004. It was worth the three hour drive to Erie.

And, for the record, Vice-President Cheney was in OH on Monday. Yeah...I found out about it too late to attend the event. Ah well...

Fever, pt. deux

Daughter's got it. A fever...of 102. Yesterday she was so miserable she begged to take her nap at noontime, and didn't even want any lunch. She didn't eat much the rest of the day either.

So, starting at 9 A.M. I'm going to try to get in touch with our beloved Syrian pediatrician and see if I need to take Daughter in. All day long she kept saying "I'm sick, I go to the doctor." She loves the doc.

This was bound to happen, with Son coughing on all of us for five days straight. Husband got home from work last night complaining of not feeling well; he had a headache, which is where it all starts.

I Can Feeeeeeeeel...

....something yucky approaching.

Throat sore, cough, headache...yep, I'm getting whatever Son had, and it looks like Daughter is too. She's been coughing since she woke up this morning.

Son is doing better, little by little. Husband and I take turns smacking him on the back. Well, smacking isn't the right word, but we both pat Son's back to loosen up the gunk in his chest and it's been working. Poor Son, though; last night he had a five minute coughing spell and I was afraid he'd choke on what he brought up.

So, here I sit, broken hearted, came to...whoa!

I'm going to take some Tylenol and crack open the orange juice. I can't get sick! I'm the Mom!

Blog Blogging

MotherGooseMouse is going. She's all signed up for BlogHer.

She'd mentioned this back in January and I thought it sounded cool, but now that I look at the info and stuff again, I'd really like to go.

I asked Husband and his response was "California???"

He has this reaction because, well, it's CA and we all know what a raging blue state that is. What, like he thinks the Liberalism is going to rub off on me??? He gives me no credit whatsoever.

But I guess this means I won't be going. I'll have to rely on MGM to fill me in on all the details.

Go get these

If you happen to find yourself at le Mart de Wal and are in need of some Easter stuff for your kiddos, go check out the "Groovy Eggs" in the seasonal aisle.

I kid you not. Groovy Eggs!!!

Our New National Slogan

"I'm offended."

"Anyone? Anyone?"

"...something d-o-o economics...voodoo economics."

Ben Stein rocks!

Do you think it's time?

I shan't bore you all with the sick details of yesterday afternoon...I'll just say that Daughter took off her poop filled diaper and your imaginations can take over from there. It wasn't a total yuck fest, but it wasn't the most pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Do you think Daughter may finally be ready to start toilet training? She obviously didn't like having a dirty diaper on.

Keep your fingers crossed on this one; I've said before that I've been changing diapers for the last 6 1/2 years and it's starting to get on my nerves!

Snort Worthy

From The Conservative Voice:

If Biblical Headlines were written by today's Liberal Media.

One wonders what they would say about Rahab. Or Bathsheba. Or Tamar. Or Judas.

Now that's one to ponder. They would probably heap praise on Judas...

Planning that vacation?

Go to historic Gettysburg, PA!

I tell everyone that, with the caveat that they have to take me. For $5 I'll give you a tour...in period dress too! (Provided I can squeeze into my corset, that is.)

I get a ton of women's/family magazines, and at this time of year they always have glossy photos of choice vacation spots. I haven't noticed any articles on going to G'burg, though, so I'm going to say right here: Go! Trust me, once you get into it, it's a lot of fun.

So, yeah, I'm still planning on taking the younglings to see that Star Wars museum exhibit...and I'd also like to take the kids to King's Island. But do you know what I'd really like to do?

Get my kicks on Route 66. I don't know why, but I just think it would be fun to start in Chicago and drive along Route 66. I've seen all kinds of programs on the History channel about old roadside attractions, stuff that was popular before the big highway system came into being, and I'd like to take a long drive. I realize things have changed...

But wouldn't you love to check out that motel in...wherever it is...that has the rooms shaped like teepees? I want to do stuff like that, just go and check stuff out.

*sigh* I realize, though, that this trip will have to wait until the younglings are a bit older. Did you know, though, that I'm already planning a trip to Scotland? Yep, the day after Daughter graduates from high school I'm outta here. No kids, either!

Why I'm Glad I'm Here

Gary the Ex-Donkey reminds me why I'm so glad I'm not at Blogger anymore.

While I do post over at Code Red* from time to time, I don't have too much to do with Blogger anymore; for some reason I'm having a hard time just logging in anymore!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Pionta Guinness, le do thoil. (A pint of Guinness, please.)

Bad Dreams

In an interesting aside, since we were talking about Star Wars yesterday (sort of), Daughter had a bad dream about said movies last night.

She woke up screaming and crying, and when I flew into her room to see what was wrong, all she said was "Ole Bader" (Darth Vader) and "Ewwbacca" (Chewie). Apparently they were both chasing her.

I guess maybe I should expose the kids to Star Trek...

We Are Family!

Big whoop, Madonna. You hired someone to trace your family tree.

You know, I'm related to my mom...and my dad...and several aunts and uncles...and hey! I'm even related to my grandparents!!!

Come on, people, does anyone really think Camilla cares about being distantly (and I mean distant) related to Madonna/Madge/Esther/Old Whore?

Yeah, I can just see Christmas dinner now...

No one got the memo...

...that I've cancelled my subscription to Vanity Fair, although I received, and deposited, my refund check.

I got the latest issue today, the one with Teri Hatcher on the cover. I could care less about her and her past...and after paging through that garbage can liner I can only say that, once again, that magazine is full of all kinds of anti-Bush babble. Interesting that, in the article about Jack Abramoff, they seem to be pointing the finger at Republicans only. Now, granted, I haven't actually read the article (I probably won't, either), but hey! Didn't (gasp!) Howard Dean take money from Abramoff too?

GAWD! Grrrr! Fiberals! Luck 'em!

The Son Also Rises

Son is doing a bit better; his fever is down and he seems to be in a better mood. He sure is rested, as he went to bed at 6:00 last night.

He's taking his Zithromax but refusing the Vicks. He feels good enough to yell "NO VICKS!" at me, so that's a good sign.

I called the school and told them I'd pick up his papers tomorrow. That should be an adventure -- a ton of papers to wade through and have done by Monday. And by my count he'll have missed at least three tests. Yes, I said three tests...for a first grader....it's enough to make a preacher swear.

I'll Second That

Espella Humanzee has an interesting post about Keith "WeenieBoy" Olberbermann.

For the record, I don't watch, or even like, O'Reilly, but I dislike Olbermann even more, so keep watching FOX!

Bite Me and Prosper

It's out there...an "I Hate Star Wars" blog.

Okay, Trekkie...for the record I don't like Star Trek or any of the spawns. Not...even....Shatner.... Dammit, Jim!

And while Palpatine got a bit, er...excited about Luke ("I can feeeeeeeel your anger!" -- come on, bub, don't wet your pants or anything), I still say the SW movies are better than a dude with fake ears and chickies in go-go boots.

Young Obi-Wan is way sexier than Kirk!!!

Bite me...

A tip of the lightsaber to The Llama Butchers

Note to Vin Diesel

Vin, Vin, VinnieBoy...give it up.

Someone else played Sky Masterson on stage...

Swooner Dreamboat!!!

And while I didn't see the production (it was in London), I'd bet that Ewan did a fantastic job. I may be biased (surprise!) but Vin, really, don't bother.

I'm Walkin'

Walking pneumonia, that is.

The doc is afraid what Son has will develop into walking pee-new-moan-i-a.

Husband is picking up the Zithromax scrip as I blog. There was no way I was going to wait at the pharmacy, what with Daughter being such a naughty girl.

Son will be out of school for the rest of the week, which means he'll miss about a jillion tests...and his class skating party on Friday.

It's Decided!

Tomorrow I leave for Somber Town!

Oh, shit, wait, that's Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. Sorry.

I'm not leaving town, at least not to go visit the in-laws. No, I'm going to stay home and have a fun-filled weekend with the new Dyson and the steam cleaner.

I figure, why go and waste time I could be using to clean the house. Until Daughter starts going to school this is the only way I'll get the house to myself.

You've Got to be Joking

Am I the only one who thinks the casting for the Dallas big screen adaptation is totally fooked up?

I mean, uck, JLo as SueEllen Ewing? John feckin' Travolta as J.R.? As one who spent many a Friday night watching that show in her youth, I can't think of worse casting. Cripes. Why not just throw me in there as Pam Ewing?

More movie crap: Ice Cube is going to star in the screen adaptation of Welcome Back Kotter. Seems like Hollywood is going to hell with a joke.

I guess we all knew this was coming. I have nothing against Ice Cube; I myself own an NWA album, but gawd, Kotter on the big screen?

Break out your whips and fedoras; there's a script for the Indiana Jones sequel.

I'll refrain from the "old fart" and wheelchair jokes here. But it's about friggin' time!

And finally, boo frikkin' hoo. Someone's got to lose, and who the hell wanted to watch "Bubble Boy" get it on with a dude anyway?

All info from Martinis, Persistence, and A Smile

You give me fever

Fee-vah!

Son has the fee-vah, actually, so he's not going to school today. Once I inform the school that Son won't be there today I'm going to try to track down the pediatrician and see if he figure out what the hell is wrong with my child.

It's going to be a long day.

UPDATE: It will be a longer day than I thought; I managed to get Son squeezed in at the doc at 2:45 this afternoon. I'm not looking forward to this as I'll have to take Daughter too, and she's usually a real crank at that time of day without a nap. Oh well, at least Son will be able to see the doc, that's the important thing.

Sick Again and Again

I'm not sick, but it looks like that yucky stomach virus thing is still going around.

One of my friends told me yesterday that strep throat is going around. And like I said before, Son still has a stuffy nose and cough.

But! Never fear! GroovyVic is still healthy and can nurse her family back to health!

Random Stuff at 6:15 A.M.

I'm awake, but not because I really want to be. The motion light kept going on and shining in my bedroom window...damn deer are out and about in my front yard. So, here I am, coffee on one side and Daughter on the other.

So, Son went to bed at 6 P.M. last night! He was so tired; he ate his supper and announced he was going to bed. Okay, he obviously needed the rest, and his stuffy nose still hasn't cleared up, even after the doc put him on antibiotics. Son also had a slight fever, so I'll be calling the doc today. I don't know if I'm keeping Son home from school or not.

I got to watch an entire hour of "Long Way Round" last night. One full hour of Swooner Dreamboat on a motorcycle! Husband said it must be killing me that McGregor was talking about reuniting with his wife. I told Husband I knew full well McGregor was married with two kids, and to shut up. But...alas, Swooner Dreamboat did meet up with his wife, and it was shown...Ewan McGregor is a very emotional man.

But who cares? I got to watch him ride motorcycles at Orange County Choppers!

I need more coffee.

A Great Debate

Well, a great debate for me, anyway. No, it's not about politics (although I did get into a short conversation with the eye doc yesterday about Gore and Daschle. Daschle's running in '08?).

I'm debating whether or not to go up to the MIL's for a weekend visit. Let me say that, while I like the in-laws, I do not like staying at their house. They have dogs, three small dogs, and I am not a dog person. Dogs are nice, in theory, and if you have a dog that's great, but I do not like dogs. They smell. At least, the dogs in question do. They stink. And more often than not, the MIL pays more attention to said dogs than my kids...or any of the other grandkids, for that matter.

I don't have a problem with Husband taking the kids up, but there's that one SIL that no one likes who has a habit of showing up unannounced, and I don't like my kids hanging around her kids.

But, if Husband took the kids, I could actually be alone in my own house, something that hasn't happened since I had the stomach flu last year and was too sick to enjoy the peace. Without the younglings I could get the living room torn apart and cleaned.

What a feckin' loser I am. The chance to have quiet, uninterrupted bathroom time, sleep in...and I'm dreaming about cleaning.

But still, I suppose the MIL would be a bit miffed if I didn't go. I think it pisses her off that we always stay in a hotel instead of at the house. Well, I for one don't like her stinky dogs jumping on me...(get a cat! get a cat!)

Who knows.

Ticket to ride

Or, in this case, ticket to fly. I booked the flight for the Reno trip! I'm starting to get excited, and a little bit anxious. I have a 2 1/2 hour stop in Dallas!

I also managed to go up to the eye doctor today and get new contacts and order new glasses. I'm ashamed to admit I flirted with the optician... Well, he was good looking, and he smelled pretty good. I appreciate nice smelling aftershave. I actually told him that if I was drinking I'd jump all over him! Then I buried my face in my hands and mumbled "I'm a married woman!"

So it was almost 75 degrees here today...and it's going to snow tonight. No wonder my sinuses are so out of whack.

My Head is Spinning

Almost literally. Around this time of year, my sinuses get all whacked and it feels like my head is constantly spinning and I feel like I'm about to pass out...I get so dizzy. I have to make sure I always have something to eat, which kind of defeats the whole losing weight thing, but it's either that or get sick to my stomach.

Yeah, it can get bad. Last year I couldn't even move my eyes or I'd get sick. I did get sick, actually.

So I'm going to lay low today and try to get my head in order.

Tales of the Tooth

"Guess what, Mom?"

"What?"

"I have a wiggly tooth!"

So went the conversation Son and I had first thing this morning. Yes, he has his first loose tooth; he's 6, so he's on target.

I know this is one of those things everyone goes through, but this is another one of those "slaps in the face" that reminds me that my kids are growing up. I was thinking about this while I was on my way home from the grocery store, and all of a sudden I got kind of pissed! I though, crap! I dealt with all that teething, drooling, fevers, crying, pain...and for what? Six years later the damn teeth fall out!

Think about it!

Sunday Morning Coming Down

I was in the bookstore yesterday (by myself, woo!), and I came across something called "The Official Bush Bashers Guide" or some such twaddle. I glanced at it and remarked loudly "Who the hell would actually buy this trash?" There was also a slim volume titled "What Went Wrong in Ohio" regarding the 2004 vote.

Ponderous trash, all of it, and I stalked away from that section of the store. I tried to look up those books on Amazon so I could link them, but that site is pissing me off lately, so you'll have to take my word for it.

If you're wondering what I did buy, I got a biograpy on Clark Gable (who was born twenty minutes from where I live -- Cadiz, OH), a book by Francine Rivers, and "The Bible for Dummies." I need all the help I can get.

So, here it is, Sunday morning, and I revived a tradition Husband and I started when we lived in PA: listening to music instead of watching the boob tube. I managed to dig the Lewis and Clark soundtrack out of a packing box, so that's what we're listening to now. You know what I'm talking about, the PBS Ken Burns program. I love the music.

Now if I could find all that Civil War hammer dulcimer fiddle banjo stuff I'd be set. One would think that after two years we'd have all our stuff unpacked, but that's not the case.

Okay, I really have to go eat something before we go to church. Last time my stomach growled so loud the guy in front of us heard!

Take that, Barbara Walters!

Poo on you, Barbara Walters, and your interviews! I've been interviewd over at basil's blog!

I hope I don't sound like a big dope...

Crap no one cares about

From The Superficial: Osama's niece is going to have her own reality show.

That's great. Some no-name trying to break into show business and not telling anyone who she is. Hello, dumbass? We know the family connection, so just give up now.

For crap's sake, just give me a feckin' reality show. It makes about as much sense as giving a show to the relative of a militant asshat.

I'm looking at info on a Ford Escape Hybrid. Hell, that thing is cheaper than a new Tahoe! Cripes, am I turning into one of those "crunchy conservatives?" Gasp! Could it be that I actually (gulp) care about the environment?

Bite me. Don't question me!

Can't. Touch. This.

Further proof that anyone can have a blog:

MC Hammer

Stop! Hammertime!!!

Get out yer big ole floppy pants and dance with me, will you?

h/t: The Llama Butchers

Potter Posting

We just finished watching the latest Harry Potter flick, which finally arrived today from Amazon. Husband connected my laptop (which has a DVD player) into a projector he borrowed from work, hooked up the speakers and it was just like we were in the theater. I made popcorn and cracked open a couple beers...

And good thing I did. I was so looking forward to seeing this movie and, well, what a letdown.

I know very well that movie makers have to deal with constraints as far as what they can have in the actual flick, but no Dobby the House Elf?

Yeah, I was disappointed. No wonder I prefer reading the books intead of seeing the movies. But hey, at least I've got a good buzz going.

Snort Worthy

I'd do anything to have PhotoShop right now...

Russell Crowe won't be appearing on Sesame Street.

This has no significance to anyone or anything, but it made me snort. *snort* Can't you just see Crowe pounding Oscar the Grouch with a phone? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ......*snort*

h/t: The Superficial

Scary Look-a-like

I brought this to Husband's attention a few months ago: the eerie resemblance between Daddy Pig (from the children's show "Peppa Pig") and Michael Moore.

Behold:

It makes me sick to think I even had to find a picture of the Land Whale...

"...nerf herder!"

Laugh it up, fuzzball!

Damn. Han Solo...whoops, I mean Harrison Ford, has proposed to Calista Flockhart.

One wonders if Ford ever comes close to splitting Calista in half. You know what I'm talkin' about.

I find your lack of faith disturbing...

h/t: Agent Bedhead

"Lady and the Tramp"

No, not another post about me and Husband...hahahahahaha....

The Conservative Voice has a review of Disney's "Lady and the Tramp," which is coming out on DVD.

No gay dogs. No high speed car chases. No transgender canines. No blatant political messages or swipes at presidential power.

Wow! Kids today would wonder if such a movie could ever exist!

This N' That

Last night I decided that maybe I should get me some cookin' learnin' from blog bud BrianB. He's going to be attending culinary school (something I'm jealous of), and since I've now dubbed myself "The Queen of Casseroles" I figure I need all the help I can get.

But aren't casseroles so easy? You just dump everything into a dish and bake. The "hardest" thing about making supper last night was browning the ground beef. Big whoop. I tried a new recipe I'd found called Hamburger Hot Dish, which was basically chili with potatoes...only not soupy. It was good! Husband liked it! Son liked it!

So, are you wondering if we went to that home Bible group last night? Yeah, we went, even though Husband had a headache. The younglings played in the basement while the adults had that ice-breaker, get to know you conversation. We had to make a list of four things about ourselves, one being false. You know the drill, and I thought "Oy, another meme." Well, here's my list:

I am a blogger
My blog was mentioned in WaPo
I was a Civil War reenactor
I was in a movie

Everyone guessed that being in a movie was false, but it wasn't. I looked at our hosts and said "Come on, you know me, like the Washington Post would mention me?" So that was that. When it came to Husband's list, everyone thought his antique shopping in Egypt was false, but AHA! It's not.

Okay, well, the wind is a-blowin' around my little "mountain home" and Daughter and I are going to have "Breakfast with Bear." I wonder if he serves coffee?

Snope-y

This morning I got an e-mail regarding "cheap mulch." All those trees that were blown over in NOLA have been made into mulch...it's full of termites...bags and bags are heading for Home Depot and Lowes stores...etc.

So, I Snoped it. Snopes.com to be exact. It's a false rumor.

I've used that site quite a bit to look stuff up. Have you checked it out? I was just perusing around there a minute ago; there's a whole mess of Hurricane Katrina and 9/11 stuff. Pretty interesting.

BitchyVic

Hmmm, let 's see, it's almost 10:30 in the morning and what have I gotten accomplished? Not much. I colored my hair; I tried a new color and I'm not sure I like it.

I'm in a rather bitchy mood today and I don't know why. Maybe it's cabin fever; I'm getting sick and tired of the status quo around here. This morning when I changed daughter's diaper I accidentally got poo on my hands. I wasn't paying attention when I picked the soiled diaper up and...yuck.

I want to go back to bed! Maybe when Daughter takes her nap I'll curl up and go to sleep too. I don't know why I'm in such a mood. No, it isn't "woman stuff," that ended yesterday.

Our home group Bible study starts tonight, and to say that I'm not looking forward to it would be an understatment. It's supposed to be some great thing that our church is starting, and our group is a couple's group with childcare provided. Is is totally sacreligious to say "big woo?" I'm so far behind on my readings and what not...I really don't feel like finding out what my spiritual gifts are. I doubt God appreciates a bitchy and sometimes sarcastic sense of humor. We'll see. God just might strike me down tonight, who knows.

That Old Space Pirate

Looks like Han Solo's friend isn't hanging out in Cloud City anymore...

h/t: The Llama Butchers

The Saga Ends

I did it. I broke down and got a Dyson.

Yeah, I know, I said I hadn't made up my mind, but I figured if I'm going to do this I'm just going to invest the money. I didn't get the fanciest model - the one with the ball for easier cleaning - but I didn't get the bottom of the line either.

Granted, this is the ugliest thing to come out of Britain since Keith Richards, but the thing works. I love the bagless vacuums because I get to see all the crap I pick up, and the vacuum isn't as heavy as it looks. I almost bought another Kenmore that was $200 less, but I figured if the Dyson never loses suction it's worth the investment.

So, that's over with. What can I bitch and worry about now???

Amazing

I sit in amazement sometimes when Husband tells me what he and his co-workers discuss. Yesterday I presented Husband with the argument that I should just go to le Mart de Wal and get a Dirt Devil for $60, since I have birthday and Christmas money...somehow I can't see spending $400 on another vacuum.

Oh yeah, did I mention we cancelled the Kirby and sent it back? Yeah, the salesman came Saturday afternoon to get it...and gave me a rash of shit for not keeping it. And he yelled at me for not packing it up right, and not wiping it down with Windex.

Piss on that. With the $1700 (I'm not kidding) I spent on that Kirby I could have gotten at least two Dysons!

Plus that wanker woke Daughter up from her nap. So beware the Kirby people.

So, anyway, it was like Husband took a poll at work of vacuum cleaner owners. One said his Dirt Devil was crap, and the boss said he really liked his Dyson.

One would think vacuum cleaners would be a subject the women would hash over, but I guess this isn't always the case. I still haven't made up my mind, though.

I have a pretty damn good life if all I have to worry about is a vacuum cleaner!

Another Jab at Hollywood

Here's another book for all of us conservative parents who want to bring our kids up right:

"Help! Mom! Hollywood is in my Hamper!"

Interesting...

Linky Love

I have done it! I've found a blogger who reads my mind! I can stop blogging now, because Theresa has managed to blog my mind.

So, go read This Mom Blogs, because it's good reading!

Oh good heavens...

My GOD, Crusty Sheeman! If you're going to protest, can't you at least be lady-like, not to mention sanitary, about it?

I mean, really. If one is going to protest, one really should attend to these matters before leaving home.

Pig!

h/t: The Filthy Report

Ugh, no thanks

A friend of mine sent me the link to the Clinton Museum Store...as a joke.

Um, yeah, no thanks. That's a joke, all right.

Ooooo! That's a Surprise!

Nope, didn't watch the Oscars last night, but I did hear that Crash won for best picture.

What. Ever.

Leavin' on a jet plane

Actually, more like one of those turbo prop puddle jumper things.

Anyway, I'm planning a trip! Without the younglings! Husband has a conference in Reno, NV in May and I'm going to fly out for the last part of the week and have a bit of a vacation.

The real fun is trying to find a flight. We decided that since the kids are going to stay with my folks in Erie, it would be easier to fly from there. Oh, sure, some of the flights I've found would have me going to Chicago, Dallas/Ft. Worth, Seattle, Los Angeles...incredible. Sure, I want to spend an entire day on a plane...not. I found a flight with only one stop, Detroit, and I've dealt with that airport before.

What fun. What terror! I don't like to fly! I never have. But I know what to expect...and there are bars in these airports. As long as I don't go all Courtney Love on the plane, what's to stop me from easing my nerves with a drink or two?? Or three...or four....

I Survived

A commenter asked how cleaning Son's room went yesterday, and yeah, I survived. Daughter somehow managed to get her hands on a DryErase marker and colored herself, and my living room chair, red. Luckily enough I was able to clean it up. Son seems to be proud of himself for helping out, and his room does look a lot better.

I had to take the younglings grocery shopping with me today. I'm used to taking Daughter, but not both kids. It was a mess, although Son was a good coupon carrier.

I Guess I'm Safe

If, in fact, this bill passes, and I'm reading this right....bloggers could be considered lobbyists.

I guess I'm safe. I mean, I don't really get into political discussions and I certainly don't ask for money.

I'm not throwing any opinion out there about McCain, as there are people out there who do like him...but if this bill is what I think it is, what a pile of crap.

Further Proof That I Need a Life

Yesterday afternoon I decided to channel surf. I have SoapNet, so I sat down to see what's going on at General Hospital. I haven't watched that in, like, six years or so.

Ah, February sweeps! Robert Scorpio was back! Dr. Noah Drake! Rick Springfield, people! What, they can't get ratings so they're reliving the heydays of the 80's? Oh well, I wasn't complaining, even if those guys do look rode hard and put up wet. Woof!

It took me a while to figure out who was sleeping with who...and that Emily grew up fast. And Bobbie's son is gay! Tony is dead! Good Lord.

Does this mean I'm going to start watching GH again? Well, like I said before, we don't get ABC so I'd have to watch SoapNet....probably tape it so I could watch it without the kids around...but Husband has vowed to make fun of me if I start watching soaps again.

I need a life.

Speak well of me, will you?

Today is the day Son and I are going to go through his room and get rid of toys he doesn't want or play with anymore. Not a difficult task, really, but add Daughter to the equation and it could turn into mass chaos.

So if I don't survive this, speak well of me when I'm gone.

Oscar Post

The Academy Awards are tomorrow night, and NO I'm not watching. Totally looking past the fact that I haven't seen any of those movies, I don't even get the ABC affiliate on my TV.

So it has nothing to do with a boycott or anything. At this point I'd be more interested in what everyone is wearing, but I know I can watch highlights of that over and over on E!.

For the record, I can count on one hand the movies I saw in the theaters this past year, and the one the made a ton of money (and I really liked) is no where on the Oscar scene. You know which one I'm talking about...

Call it a cheezy movie, but I liked it...and if GroovyVic likes it then so should everyone else!!

Say It Ain't So, I Beg You!

Two tidbits from Martinis, Persistence, and A Smile:

Be on the lookout for a sex tape featuring Jane Fonda and Ted Turner, along with some brunette woman. According to the description of said tape: "...the purported Fonda is allegedly wearing artificial equipment to pleasure the alleged Turner while he services the brunette...

*urp*

Sorry, I just vomited in my mouth. Excuse me... That one will clear your colon!

And in Brangelina news, among rumors that ArmPitt and JollyJolie are "secretly married" comes the news that Jolie wants to give birth to the pair's baby in Africa so the child will "have a 'kinship' with her adopted kids."

Pardon my French, but what a steaming pile of bullshit. Jay-sus Key-rhist, does that now mean that my kids have a "kinship" with the children in Erie, PA because that's where they were born???

Cripes, money and fame, wasted on the stupid.

Going to the garage...

...again.

I called up the garage I take La Tahoe to, and told the guy (our kids are in the same class) that if that damn universal joint is shot again, I'm going over to the sales department.

I've had it! I replace that u-joint almost every foogin' year, and it ain't cheap. Damn Tahoe. I love it, but I hate it.

UPDATE: Well, the U-joint and all that are fine, but there's a problem with the transmission! What to do, what to do. We'd have to pull it apart to see what's going on, but now it's a question of replacing one part or getting a whole new tranny...but with that one has a warranty.

Dammit. It didn't help that there was a beautiful '03 Avalanche across the road in the car lot.

Husband is calling our buddy at the garge to get the skinny. One has to wonder if it's worth it to fix the tranny in a vehicle that has over 100,000 miles when something else could shit the bed a month later.

Sonofa....beeeeeyotch!!!

Love Triangle?

I don't know how this happens in the elementary grades...but here it is, the OH Valley's version of "Days of Our Lives:"

Son got off the bus yesterday and told me that the girlfriend of another boy allegedly wrote Son a note telling him she loved him. A quick thinking friend of Son's threw it away, though.

Confused yet? Son doesn't even know who this girl is or what grade she's in, but the spurned "boyfriend" vows to ask her if she did write that note, and if she did she's "going to get yelled at."

I told Son that if he really doesn't know who this girl is, just admit as much if he's questioned, but otherwise keep his mouth shut.

You men out there have any advice for my six year old as to how to deal with the ways of a woman?

Sheesh, I didn't put these kinds of tactics (flirting with someone else to make my boyfriend jealous) into practice until I was in my twenties...at least.

At the end of the day, I just laughed about it, while Husband sat shaking his head over this boyfriend/girlfriend saga playing out in elementary school.

More Crap

Props, shout outs, and mad love to Agent Bedhead for linking to this myspace.com crap.

And crap it is, homies.

Yeah, I know. "White girl tries to talk like a gangsta'." It doesn't stop K-Fed, oh he of the greasy cornrows. Why do white men insist on doing this???

UPDATE: Not long after I posted this I heard that 50 Cent called Ja Rule a "wankster." I think that term could also be applied to Mista Feddy, as he's a wanna be gangster/thuglife no street cred wanker!

Really? You think so??

From The Superficial, photos of Hermione (Emma Watson, from Harry Potter) boozing it up.

I don't know what you do with your bottle when you're drinking, but I don't generally fart around with it or hold it in stupid positions. These shots look a bit posed to me. You know, "Ooooo, look at me! I'm drinkin'! Oooooo!"

You be the judge.

Now I'm gonna go get a beer and pose for stupid pictures. Ooooo, I'm drinkin'!

"Dance, Mommy! Dance!"

So said Daugher, vegetable beef soup smeared all over her face. She was sitting in her high chair (so she'd actually eat) wiggling her rear end to the music that's played on Rush Limbaugh's show.

And she loves to chase her brother around the house and smack him on the butt. Only, when she says "smack him on the butt" it sounds disturbingly like "f**k him up the butt."

Oh dear.

For crap's sake...

I'm listening to Rush...actually Roger Hedgecock (is that right?), and he's talking about that teacher in CO's rant...

Apparently this teacher has been suspended. The students are walking out in solidarity with this teacher? Give me a feckin' break here. Do they even have a clue as to what this man was ranting about in the first place? Not only is this teacher completely off his rocker, but now he's filled these kids' heads with so much crap.

Urgh!

What a jackass.

That's MR. Ex-Donkey!

Blog bud Gary, or Mr. Ex-Donkey, got quoted by The Washington Post regarding the speculation over Cheney's retirement.

Well, wow! One never knows who's out there checking out our blogs, huh?

Super Citizen!

Son came home with an "award" for being a Super Citizen! He cleaned up a mess that wasn't his. He didn't have to, but no one else, including the kid that did it, would pick up the toys and stuff.

Now if he would only do that at home!

The funny twist here is that the one who made the mess was the teacher's son!

Son felt good about this, and he later told me that he even got a new pencil. Pencils are apparently a hot commodity for first graders.

Bruce Willis: "Not a Republican"

I find this bit on Bruce Willis amusing, if only because he says, after an expletive fueled rant, that he's not a Republican.

What kills me is that he seems to be echoing the same sentiments I see around the blogosphere, and my own, and I can't help but wonder if he may be ashamed to call himself a Republican these days. A commenter said that here just the other day.

"...I hate the government, OK? I'm apolitical. Write that down. I'm not a Republican."

Methinks he's a Libertarian?

It's funny 'cause it's true!

Anna has the Day By Day cartoon on her blog....and today's is funny because it's so true!

Breakdown Shakedown

Last night Husband and I went in for a parent/teacher conference. We were shown Son's grades (all A's) and we were told that in the reading and language arts areas he's doing well. Duhhh....takes after ME there.

BUT! When it comes to math, Son is still overwhelming himself and overthinking basic concepts. No surprise to me, as Son is the youngest in his class and he takes after me with that "don't want to disappoint anyone" attitude. I had similar problems back when I was in the lower grades; I hated math! It wasn't fun like reading! I had a breakdown in second grade and the teacher yelled at me, in front of the class, and ripped up my math paper.

Yeah, I had a math and female teacher phobia for years, but I got over it. Who the hell else is going to balance the checkbook around here?

I think, and I could be wrong, that by the time the class gets to math they're tired and have had enough. I speak for all those kids, not just Son. I could be wrong, though, but I suspect there are more kids that have problems with math, they just don't cry like Son does.

We're going to work on it. Son has improved so much with his writing (penmanship); he brought his journal home last night and his sentences are getting better too. His teacher and I worry that his breakdowns could be seen as major behavioral problems later on. He can do the work; sometimes he just needs a break!