Every Day of My Life

Amazing, isn't it, how commercials imitate life?

This is what every day feels like for me with this acid reflux:

"If you exhale, flames will shoot out of your mouth!"

Swooner Dreamboat Birthday

How could I let this day go by without a massive Swooner Dreamboat post?

Weeee! Ewan McGregor is 36 today!!

Oooooooo....a younger man!!

It's A Long Way To The Top Birthday

Happy Birthday to AC/DC guitarist Angus Young who is 52 today!

In the birthday spirit, here's one of my favorites...Bon Scott and an excellent use of bagpipes.

(You know, this is my ringtone on my cell phone. Imagine everyone's shock when I got a call...in church!)

Draft Reenactors?

This giggly tidbit from The Llama Butchers...

Yup, That's About Right

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

H/T: Not So Confidential

Why I Don't Watch American Idol

What in the bloody hell is this??

Courtesy Martinis, Persistence, and A Smile

I've Found It!

This is it! This is the dress I'm going to wear to The Big Dinner for Husband's place of employ.

Whaddaya think?

*snort*

Oh Good Lord

Hollywood is remaking...get ready...Teen Wolf.

I wonder if they'll have another guy showing off his willy at the end of the movie. You know, like in the first one.

Swinger Birthday

Vince Vaughn is 37 today!

Suddenly, it's weird! Vince is the same age as me!

Let The Record Show

I would like you all to know, especially you Llama Butchers, that yesterday I actually sat through a Star Trek movie.

Star Trek: First Contact, to be exact.

To be perfectly clear, I sat through this movie, I didn't exactly watch it.

I read a book (which is a post for another time), and I think I looked up twice. Once when I heard "ooby-dooby-doo-waa" and then when I heard Data say he was fully functional....sexually.

And then he got it on with a borg.

Oooookay.

The kids were bored; Son went to his room to read and Daughter fell asleep. Husband was the only one who really paid attention to it.

But it was on...and I was in the room. Does that count?

If It's Spring...

...it must be time to start bitching about the school district Son is in. Registration for pre-K is April 2, so soon it will be Daughter's school as well.

But I'm hearing things, mainly that in April the state is going to come in and take over the school district. We're already in "fiscal caution," what ever that is. And the district wants to pass an income tax that those on welfare and Social Security won't have to pay.

People, that's almost half, if not more, of the district!

Even my stocks and dividends would be taxed. It almost puts in mind of another nanny state! How dare the district look into Husband's income!

So, my friend and I are giving thought to a private Christian school that we've heard wonderful things about. For Daughter this would be no big deal. The only thing she may get upset about is not riding the big yellow bus. But Son, on the other hand, he's formed friendships and what not; how would he handle this?

I do know someone who was in a similar situation, and I intend on asking her how things worked out. But do any of you have anything to offer?

I can count my blessings, at least, that this district isn't preaching the Liberal way of life, but at the rate they're going, with schools closing, not being able to pass any levies and so forth, there may not be a district left in a few years!

Gag Worthy

Check out this picture of Michael Jackson and his nephew.

His nephew!

Courtesy The Dirty Disher

Bored?

"Charlie Sheen Narrating 9/11 Conspiracy Documentary"

When I read that to Husband he said:

"He's probably doing that because he couldn't find anything else to do."

Bored, Charlie?

Let Me Say This About That

If I was John Edwards' wife (and thank God I'm not!), I'd be pretty pissed off if I was her. I mean really! Cancer! I'd expect my husband to do a little prioritizing.

I'd be kicking is perfectly coiffed arse!

That's all I have to say about that.

"Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!"

Tsk!

It's so, I don't know, disillusioning to find out that the Brady kids are human.

I mean, first Greg blazes up a doober before shooting, and now this.

When will this madness end?

Calling a Truce

With respect to recent events in the life of one of the Llama Butchers, I'm taking down my little "picture" of them and calling a truce.

I'm trying to be an adult here. Yes, it can be done.

And...honestly there are some weirdos in the hobby, and I've met a few of them.

But believe me, you have my sincerest condolences.

Is That All There Is?

Well, apparently all is still right with the world, for the most part, because as of about 8 p.m. last night Husband and I became o-fficial members of the church we've been attending.

I don't know exactly what I was expecting to happen. I mean, were they going to shine a big spotlight on us and interrogate us as to our spirituality?

No, they didn't, but they did ask us about our "walk with Jesus." You know, how we came to be Christians. Well....did they really want to hear my saga? I gave them a thumbnail of it all...and then they asked "What does Jesus mean to you?"

Really.

I was stumped. I mean, how do I put what I feel into words? I managed, and I guess my answer was passable, because the two elders we met with didn't take that long to confer about us.

Husband and I discussed the whole interview on the drive home, and I giggled and said "Maybe I should have given this answer:"

Jesus is just alright with me, jesus is just alright, oh yeah
Jesus is just alright with me, jesus is just alright

I dont care what they may say, I dont care what they may do
I dont care what they may say, jesus is just alright, oh yeah

It Must Be Karma

Having returned from running some errands this morning, I'd just like to know why it is that every time I decide to run out looking like...well, like I've just rolled out of bed (because I did), I run into the Pastor's wife?

Today was a bit different, in that I didn't have to get out of La Tahoe, but just the same, sitting at a red light I glance over to the next lane and there she is.

Dammit, dammit, sonofabitch.

Oh well. At least I don't show up at church like that.

Gag Worthy

There I am, harmlessly perusing some of my favorite blogs, and I decide to follow a link provided by a blog pal....and just about lose my dinner.

Gird your loins, folks, and follow the link that Agent Bedhead has provided.

Keep a bucket or a towel handy. Just in case you suddenly feel the urge to boot.

And! I don't ever want to hear another word about Ewan McGregor's mole!

Oh, Peter...

Peter Brady....I mean, Christopher Knight!...is removing tattoos.

Kind of, that is.

What's with that soul patch, man?

Snort Worthy

"I don't feel no ways tired."

*snort*

The Thinker

I'm giving serious thought to having that surgery to correct my hiatal hernia.

Anyone with any experience or advice to offer, please comment here or e-mail me.

Thanks!

Whatwhatwhat??

Now I'm getting telemarketing calls IN SPANISH.

What the *&^$$%^*&???????

Lackaposting

I haven't given up on this here blog...it was the weekend for cripe's sake!

And yesterday, Sunday, for some reason we couldn't get on these here Internets. Sometimes I think this high-speed satellite thingahootch Husband rigged up is more trouble than it's worth.

Of course, if we ever did get DSL or anything like that through Verizon (those robber barons...what a racket!), our computer that all the network stuff is through would probably burst into flames.

But I'm still here, just haven't found anything worth blogging about.

Well, except this. As of Thursday evening, I'll be a member of a church. Yes, ME! So if there are any sudden earthquakes or fires or any other forms of disaster in or around Ohio, you'll know why.

"Raise 'Em Up Now, Let's See Who Salutes"

In honor of Van Halen's induction in to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and because they didn't perform, I give you these.

First, my favorite David Lee Roth solo song, Yankee Rose. (The synch is a bit off, but it's still good.) Assless spandex!!

And if you're a Van Halen purist, like me, here's another blast from the past, Panama. (Because I like that whole "reach down, between my legs" thing.)

"Model citizen, zero discipline..."

Sounds like me!

Random Ewan McGregor Picture Post

Whatcha doin' in that tub, Ewan???

*giggle*

Would You Buy This?

Sarah Jessica Parker is going to launch her own clothing line.

I don't know about this. I mean, she had maybe one or two dresses on Sex And The City that I liked...and those Manolos and Jimmy Choos....still drooling over those shoes.

She should design shoes.

SQUAWK!

Technically, guys, I'm a former reenactor.

But reenactors aren't weirdos. I still say you need to put on the uniform and try it out for yourselves!

Or better yet....want to try on my hoops and corset?

I Got A Letter..

...from the principal of Son's school yesterday. Here it is, all emphasis mine:

I was informed of the incident that occurred on the bus with [Son]. [Busdriver] was not driving when it happened (no duh!), but I asked her to be sure that other student involved did not sit near [Son]. (He already doesn't; I had to have them separated earlier in the school year.) Also, I talked to the other student. His story is that [Son] would not let him have his book back after several attempts of trying to retrieve it. I told him that if that is so he still can't harm another student. He said it was an accident.

I called you at home at 10:15 and did not get an answer. (Did you happen to see that I have also given you my cell phone number, dumbass?)

Blah blah...so on and so forth...signed Mrs. Blahblahblah.

She also spelled Son's name wrong throughout the letter.

She's out of the office until Thursday, which gives me ample time to rebut, if I choose. Any suggestions?

And I find it very hard to believe that Son was hogging that other kid's book. Son also had a book of his own. Why try to bogart someone else's?

"You see, Pinto's never been laid."

And I can see why.

"I AM NOT A WEIRDO!"

Ahem, Robert the Llama Butcher....

Update on "One-Eye"

Or: How Son is doing.

He's fine, much better. He went back in yesterday (Friday) and the contact lens/band-aid was taken out of his eye. The doctor said it was a major abrasion but healed up very nicely over night.

The eye drops are now every two hours, and tomorrow move to every four hours. Which means, fun for me, I'll be stopping in at school at lunch time Monday to give Son a drop.

No school nurses are touching him!

Which is a good lead-in to this: I told the school what happened and the principal called down the little bastard perpetrator, who laid the blame squarely on Son. Uh-huh, yeah, Son did this to himself.

Needless to say, GroovyVic is going to have words the the principal as well.

Sooo...Son has to go back to the eye doc this afternoon and again on Tuesday. He is feeling a lot better, though, and that's the important thing.

Well, So Much For That

So now not even David Lee Roth will be at the Hall of Fame inductions on Monday.

I can see his point, though. Slash is good, but he's no Eddie Van Halen. And while I also like what's-his-name who's the lead singer...what the hell is his name? I liked him with Stone Temple Pilots......

Anyway, yeah, he's okay too, but he's no Diamond Dave.

So now I guess we have to wait for this "stadium act" and shell out a few $$$'s for tickets.

Damn.

Random Ewan McGregor Picture Post

Back to Her Roots

I find it interesting that Sharon Stone would even admit going back to visit her college.

And it's only a wee distance from where I grew up.

An Eye For An Eye

Today, Son gets off the bus and tells me that someone poked him in the eye. I get him up to the house, have him put a cold compress on his eye, and manage to take a look.

His cornea has a big tear in it.

Trying not to panic, I start making phone calls, only to find that I can't get in touch with his regular eye doctor, and the emergency room at the hospital is no damn help either.

I called up to Wal-Mart, where I go for my glasses, and they say if I get Son there by 5:30, the doc can take a look at him.

Well, it wasn't fun. Son was scared, crying, and in so much pain that the doctor could barely get a numbing drop in Son's eye. But, in the end, Son's eye was looked at, and the doc put a contact lens in the eye, so it could heal. Son has to have antibiotic drops every hour, and will have to go in to the vision center tomorrow and Saturday.

Which means he'll miss another day of school. All because some bastard child on the bus was being a schmuck.

And, once Son is done with the antibiotic drops, he'll have to have drops for the next six to eight weeks, sterile saline drops, to make sure the cornea doesn't tear again.

I hope I don't ever have to hear either of my children scream in pain again.

Just Another Reason...

...why I don't show my politics on my vehicle.

As it is, I have to peel the sticker off my bumper that allows me into Husband's place of employ. There's a new rule going around that there should be nothing on vehicles that identify them as having anything to do with the military.

And look, 99% of the time I have the younglings in La Tahoe with me. It's bad enough I get glares and stares for driving that thing in the first place (and if any of you greenies out there want me to drive something else, fork over the cash), but, no matter what my personal beliefs may be, I'm not going to put a bumper sticker on my vehicle that would invite further scorn...or death threats!!

So, watch your butts out there. You never know who's getting pissy over your bumper stickers.

Thanks to Basil for providing the link.

Gump: Part II

Look, I admit it, I loved Forrest Gump.

I still quote lines from it, when the occasion warrants it. For instance, every time we discuss finding Jesus in church, I always think of:

"Have you found Jesus?"

"I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him!"

Every. Single. Time.

And then, of course, there was that whole "Lt. Dan" thing.

So, now there's going to be a sequel.

Okay. Go for it, I guess. I'll wait for it to come out on DVD, though.

Good News and Bad News

The good news is, Daughter does not have strep throat.

The bad news is, school is closed today due to the snow. Which means the kids have yet another day tacked on to the end of the year, making their "last day" June 5.

I also got a note from the district last night outlining the plan to utilize Thursday, April 5 and Monday, April 9 for make-up days. This throws a bit of a monkey wrench in my travel plans, and irritates me to no end because I was told the superintendent could file for some kind of appeal with the state to not have to make up a couple of those days the kids missed.

Good grief, people, all the roads in the county were closed on one of those days, and on another the buses couldn't be started!

Urrrrgggghhhh!

I plan on speaking with Son's teacher, though, about him possibly not going to school that Thursday before Easter. We'll see. I'd really rather arrive at my destination before dark!

I'm focusing on the good news, which is Daughter's health. I was so afraid she'd picked up that strep from Son!

And...more good news....I've lost two more pounds!!!

Why Does Anyone Need This?

If you are a parent, at some point you and your child(ren) may be bombarded with toy ads on TV. Most of the time, when Daughter jumps up and proclaims "I want that!" I give it the attention it demands, which is not much.

But when I saw the commercial for Barbie and her dog Tanner, I hit the roof.

People, this dog poops. Little, brown plastic turdies, that Barbie "scoops" up so the "waste" can be disposed of.

Um....okay. Why exactly would any young girl want to play with this? And yes, Daughter says she waaaaaaaaants it.

What's next? "Barbie's Poopin' Pony?"

Reaching for the Clippers

I'm thisclose to losing my marbles and shaving my head.

This morning Daughter woke up with a low-grade fever and a sore throat.

Damn damn damn!

I put in a call to the pediatrician at 9:00 a.m. on the dot (when they open) and told the nurse I was concerned because I'd had Son in there last week for strep...and now I'm waiting on a call from the doc.

I suspicion he'll want to swab Daughter's throat to be sure it's strep, but wouldn't it be nice if he'd just call in a 'scrip for antibiotics?

Oh well.

Some Insight Into GroovyVic

My favorite song.

It's a tad long, but who cares?

Turn up the volume and ROCK!

My Two Cents

My motto is: If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me! But this just scrapes the bottom of the barrel.

I'm not a fan of Ann Coulter. She's too damn angry and mouthy.

I'm not exactly a fan of John Edwards, either, but I'm not going to toss around nasty slurs where he's concerned.

It's old news by now, but Ann Coulter calling John Edwards a "faggot" is just ridiculous. How far does she think she can take her animosity towards the left? She gives us conservatives and Republicans a bad name.

(Which is why I will no longer listen to Hannity. He's got his head so far up her rear end he can taste her shampoo.)

So, look, I'm all for free speech and all, but give it a rest, Ann, willya?

And, P.S. I don't care about what anyone does in the privacy of their own lives, gay, straight, or otherwise.

Good News and Other Things

Well, once I sat back and looked at the big picture where this diet is concerned, I knew it would be good for me.

I've lost five pounds!

My pants were noticeably loose this morning.

Yep, I'm starting to feel a lot better about this diet thing. And the good news is, I can still eat red licorice, since it's low fat.

This morning, as I was setting up the PowerPoint stuff at church, the pastor asked how I was doing. I told him I haven't shaved my head and gotten any tattoos yet.

It's been a particularly rough week, domestically speaking.

But I survived...."I will survive!"....and here I am, snug at home with the younglings.

I'm going to go read; I decided to read Gone With the Wind for the umpteenth time.

Peter and Amanda! Reunited?

Frisco and Sammi Jo!

I mean, Jack and Heather.

"All I neeeeeed/is just a little more time/to be sure what I feeeeeel..."

Yeah, okay.

How much do you want to bet Heather is trying to parlay a role on Bold and the Beautiful?

Thanks to X17 Online for the info.

Ugh! Gawd!

I really like Joe Nichols, but I think I've lost a bit of respect for him, not that I know he thinks it's a "huge honor" to have been asked to sing at Anna Nicole Smith's funeral.

Ugh! Gawd!

And I think a more appropriate tune would be "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off."

Ugh!

My Mugshot

Had to go in to Husband's place of employ this morning to have a new ID card made up.

The results? Not pretty. But who cares?

It was an event, though, because I've never actually gone there by myself. I dislike driving anywhere near that city. And I felt very much like a civilian when I got there.

But I've got to admit, I get quite a kick out of hearing those enlisted folks call Husband "Sir."