"Goodpumpkins"

Two of my favorite things, The Great Pumpkin and Goodfellas.

Don't listen to this with the kids around, totally NSFW.

Trick-Or-Treat

Well, we took the younglings trick-or-treating tonight. Son was Harry Potter:

...and Daughter was Sleeping Beauty:

Husband and I were escorted them through town, and we hit about two streets, deciding the kids had a decent haul.

Hey! A full size Baby Ruth candy bar!!! Wooo hooooo!!!

Happy Halloween

Swooner Dreamboat Smells

Behold, Swooner's commercial for stinkum:

Thanks to heatworld.com

Ayyyyyyyy! Birthday

Happy Birthday to Henry "The Fonz" Winkler, who turns 62 today!

Too Familiar To Me

In case you were wondering, our school board is just like the dad:

"Oh you're so condescending...."

Yep, that's our school board!!

Snort Worthy

From Husband:

YOU MIGHT BE A TALIBAN IF...

...You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

...You own a $300 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

...You have more wives than teeth.

...You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

...You've ever opened a can of falafel with a mortar round.

...You've ever had your camel repossessed.

...You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

...You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

...You've ever been asked, "Does this burka make me look fat?"

...You've felt the urge to "rub her out" after seeing a woman's exposed ankle.

...You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

...You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

...You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

Hungry Like The Wolf Birthday

Happy Birthday to Duran Duran frontman Simon Le Bon, who turns 49 today.

Yes, okay, fine! My name is GroovyVic and I'm a former Durannie. I had over 150 pictures of Duran Duran on my bedroom walls last week when I was in middle school, and doodled "Simon My Simon" all over the place. That was, until bass player John Taylor caught my eye.

Then I grew up (went to college) discovered The Best Band Ever, Led Zeppelin! Those Brits ROCK!!!

Oh Dear

Oh, Renee Zellweger. What have you done to your hair?

This is so not Bridget Jones.....

What would Mark Darcy say? Or even Colin Firth, for that matter?

In Case You Were Wondering

So, yeah, it's been a busy day.

The church we attend decided to make up and send out care packages for local service men and women serving overseas, and today was the day to pick up stuff that the students at the local schools collected. Both Husband and I made trips, and for both of our pick ups, La Tahoe was packed to the roof.

Today was also the day of the Halloween parties at the elementary school, and I was one of the moms helping out with Son's third grade class. I had to actually raise my voice to get the hooligans to sit down at one point, and Son told me later that two of his friends said "Boy! Your mom is mean!"

The other moms appreciated it, though, and when they looked at me in a sort of stunned way I just shrugged and said "I used to teach high school, it's not so different."

Anyway, while I was herding third graders, Husband took Daughter to the doctor. She has a mild case of bronchitis!

And, probably the most disheartening news of all, the teachers in our school district have issued a strike notice.

I fear I'm starting to sound like a Liberal....impeach! Impeach! Impeach the superintendent! Hey hey! Ho ho! The Superintendent has got to go!

Just One More!!

It's Elvis Day

I'm on a roll today!

This one goes out to my friend "Elvis". Remember dancing to this one?

All Hail The King!

This one goes out to Robbo:

This Is Good

Snort Worthy

Redneck Tank Top....

Priceless!

Thankew Wyatt Earp

Suggested Reading

I saw this book and immediately thought of these guys.

That's My Swooner Dreamboat!

Ewan McGregor is sick of the nanny state in Britain.

Well, Swooner Darling, if you decide to leave Britain, you won't find anything different in the US.

But....you could always, you know, move in with me....

Nyuk! Birthday

Happy Birthday to my favorite Stooge, Jerome "Curly" Howard, born on this day in 1903.

And, as usual, I Googled Curly.....and got Shemp!

Just Say No

Yesterday my mother was amazed that I'd finally learned to say no.

Ya see, one of the PTO mothers is in charge of the annual spaghetti dinner, and I'd told her I'd donate Saran Wrap, a couple desserts, and my time to help get the desserts individually wrapped. She wanted to know if I was going to help with the dinner itself, or even come and eat.

I said NO, that since it was parent-teacher conferences I'd prefer to just have my conference and get out, that Husband would have his Bible study that night, I wouldn't have childcare, blah blah blah.

The mother got indignant at this, telling me to just "bring the kids." I said:

"Look, I said I'd donate Saran Wrap, desserts, and some of my time. Take what you get and be happy!"

(I mean, honestly, my kids don't want to spend all that extra time at school!)

When I told my mom this, she cheered for me that I'd finally learned to say no to those mothers.

What I wanted to tell that mother was that she should shove her spaghetti dinner up her bum!

Which brings me to my class reunion...but I'll post about that later.

Is This Really Necessary?

Necessary? Is it necessary to out a fictional character?

No, but it's salacious and people get off on that.

Ring-A-Ding

Husband sent me on a wild goose chase around the house this morning to find my anniversary gift.

This is what he got me:

It's "Claire's Ring."

Ten Years? Wow!

On this day ten years ago, Husband made an "honest woman" out of me. HA!

Seriously, it's been quite a decade!

Instead of posting my wedding picture again, here's "our song:"

Emotions Update

I've stopped crying with vexation over this damn school district, and now I'm spitting mad. So mad, in fact, that not only am I going to start up a letter writing blitz to the school board, but I'm going to mail some opinionated correspondence straight to Columbus and the State Education office.

Bastards.

They're all bastards. Nothing that is being done is for the kids, it's all about saving some $$$. They don't seem to care that closing another school building and cramming students into another building nose-to-butt isn't going to help the standards of education one damn bit.

F**king ignorant bastards!

Hey, That's.......???

More Fun Quizzes at QuizPox.com

Hmmm....trying to say something?

And, unfortunately, I share a birthday with Paris "Hey! Look At My Vah-Jay-Jay!" Hilton.

Thankew Wyatt Earp

"Brushing Never Rocked This Hard"

Oh. My. Gawd.

Is there anything KISS won't sell?

OMG! WTF? - Early Halloween Edition

The picture in this link is so....creepy...that I can't even post it here.

BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Crying

Yeah, I'm not ashamed to admit it, I've been crying like a big, old bawl baby.

Why? Because it's pretty much a done deal that this damn school district I'm in is going to close another building and then squash kids in to one of the elementary schools. The elementary school my children attend, to be exact.

I cried out of anger and frustration, over the fact that this damn administration is essentially squeezing our collective nuts because we won't vote to have a levy passed. Who's suffering most? The kids.

And I'm feeling selfish because we moved here. I wanted to have a new house and my husband home every night, we wanted a lot of land and no neighbors, so here we are. The school district sucks ass and I moved my kids out of a great district (the one I went to) just so I could have a nicer house. Selfish!

So what are my alternatives? I could open enroll the kids in the next district or I can home school. Private school is, economically, out of the question right now.

What I really want to do is scream and yell at the school board. Do you know what I'd get for my troubles? "We'll take it under advisement," which basically means "Piss off, asshole."

God damn this district. Bastards!

A little hair band music to get me through:

Yep, That's About How I Feel About It

SNOWBIRD!!!

DIG-UM!!!

And I Get Accused of TMI

Julia Roberts was honored for something or another.

A lady to the end:

...the nursing mother also at one point grabbed her bosom and asked the crowd, “Is there a hungry baby in the house? Just come on up!”

Uh-huh. When Roberts does something like that, it's endearing, but when I say something like that, it's TMI.

Piss off, all of ya!

Snort Worthy - "Doctor My Eyes!"

This is feckin' hysterical.

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes - Fire Arms Edition

Last night Daughter cuddled up to me and said:

"Don't shoot at the school bus."

"Um, okay hon, I hadn't planned on it," I said.

"Well, there's a picture on the bus," Daughter started, "and it's of a gun. With a....with..."

(She starts making slashing motions.)

"A red line through it? That means you can't bring a gun on the bus," I explained.

"No Momma! It means 'don't shot at the bus!'" Daughter said with disgust.

"Welcome! Welcome To You All!"

Last night, Husband received an invitation to go to Normandy.

Normandy!

I said:

"Oh, you've got to go! It's France! The land of your blood! Normandy! D-Day! The Longest Day! You could stand on the beach like Robert Mitchum!"

Husband gave me a very dry look and said:

"It's going to cost around $4000. I'll get there someday, but just not right now."

To which I replied:

"Oh, you'd better change that pronoun to 'we.' As in 'We will get there someday.' Come on! Where else can I run around saying 'John has a long mustache'? Or 'fills my heart with a monotonous langour'? Which is really 'remplit mon coeur de langour monotone.'"

Yeah....I love The Longest Day. Let's watch it again!!!

Even More Domestic Blogging

Today was the day o' cleaning in the Groovy house. Nothing major, mind you, just stuff that I've been avoiding, like dusting. I hate to dust. I can vacuum until the cows come home, but I loathe dusting.

Oh yeah, I also scrubbed our picture window, inside and out, and took down the screens in the two small side windows and washed them up.

See, we have spiders out here in the boonies, and they like those screens. And it was really bothering me. I like an unimpeded view of my land, and spiderwebs just spoil the effect.

Why all the hubub? Daughter's preschool teacher will be making a home visit tomorrow, and while we don't live like pigs, I at least would like to look a bit tidier than usual.

And I'm hosting my Monday evening Bible study, so it pays to plan ahead.

But, do I have something nibbly on hand for Daughter's teacher? Do I offer her coffee? Juice? Scotch on the rocks?

Thanks, I Needed That

This is, actually, one of my favorite movies, and not just because Colin Firth is in it.

Hugh Grant is in it, too!

Seriously, though, I caught this on TV this afternoon, and it was the perfect thing to watch on a gloomy day.

And no matter how many times I watch this, I bawl like a baby every time. Especially the scene where Emma Thompson is crying...and that Joni Mitchell song is playing. Sob city.

I don't know why, but somehow sitting on my couch and crying somehow made me feel better. And I wasn't feeling bad about anything!

Yankee Rose Birthday

Happy Birthday to David Lee Roth, who turns.....

...53 today!!

Happy day, Diamond Dave!! Celebrate with assless spandex!

On The Domestic Front...

So, yeah, some days it just plain sucks to be a housewife.

Take, for instance, yesterday. I had posted here that my dryer had once again pooped out on me, so while I made a grocery run I had Husband call the repair place to set something up. He told me no one would be able to come out until Friday. I sighed and shook my head; Husband just doesn't know how to deal with these people properly.

Oh well, thought I, I still have a washer and clothes lines, I'll just wash up what's dirty. So, that was a fine plan, seeing as how it was so damn hot yesterday, don't you think? Sure! Even eco-friendly! Until one of my outside clothes lines broke...sending my wet, very expensive king-sized sheets into the dirt.

Oh yeah, I said a few choice four-letter words.

Okay, we'll re-wash them and hang them in the basement! NO! The washer was leaking! DAMMIT!!

Long story short, I washed the damn sheets anyway and wrestled them on to the line in my basement. (BTW, have you ever tried to hang king-sized sheets on a clothes line? Not easy!)

So I'm thinking I have to wait until Friday, but I found someone who would come out today, and he did, and now everything is fixed!

I can't figure out why I'm so bloody happy to have my appliances in working order!

Wonderful!

Isn't technology great?

We got our wireless Internets hooked up Friday, which means NO MORE DIAL-UP!

And now I can talk on the phone, surf these here Internets, and sit on the toilet all at the same time!!!

WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

I Shot The Sheriff

...but I didn't shoot the deputy....

See, yesterday as we pulled in to the parking lot at church, Husband said:

"Oh, look, the sheriff."

Actually, it was a deputy, and I yelled:

"Put yer bullet back, Barney!"

And then I burst in to song:

Every Rose....Has Wilted, Dude

Anyone watch that Rock of Love Reunion?

Is it just me, or does Bret Michaels get turned on easily? I mean, the man could get turned on by a door knob!

And Jes, for the record, sitting through that show was a real mindf**k.

That's an hour of my life I'll never get back!

One of the Guys

So, the other night, whilst I was sitting in the school cafeteria at the PTO meeting, two of the ladies there were discussing childbirth. Specifically, weight loss. Things got a hair graphic, so I'll leave the rest to your collective imaginations.

Anyhoo, upon hearing this, I looked at my friend Underdog and said:

"Now do you know why I dislike hanging around with women? They're always talking about their ovaries or childbirth...and I'm done with that!"

Add to that the fact that women are catty, two-faced, and downright bitches.

I know my sex, and while I am all woman, I don't necessarily like hanging around them. Nope, never have. I prefer hanging around men, that way I can be myself. Oh sure, they kind of look scanty eyed at a woman who burps and talks trash, but hey, at least I'm not putting on a false front....like I have to do at church.

Hmmmm......

Role Reversal

My dryer died again yesterday.

Yes, I did just get it fixed two weeks ago, but with three years of accumulated lint in the exhaust hose, well, things got a little hot.

And yes, I did my groovy best cleaning out all the lint I could get to. I asked Husband to please clean out the hose two weeks ago, but alas, he did not. He sure did yesterday, though.

Anyway, the really funny thing about all of this is that I'm not freaking out. I didn't freak out the first time, either, but I wasn't running around the house yelling about a new dryer yesterday. I did, however, grumble about Husband not doing what I'd asked him to do in the first place. But I digress.

After Husband cleaned out a literal big bucket of lint, he got online to look up how much a new dryer would cost at Lowes. I said to him:

"How is it that you're the one online pricing appliances? Usually I'm the one doing that, and you're the one talking me out of it. Wait to see what the repairman has to say on Monday! Our clothes are clean! We've got clean underwear to last us two weeks...and hey! I have clothes lines! We can utilize Mother Nature!"

Sheesh. I mean, really!

To tell the truth, if I don't have to do laundry, it's no sweat off my brow.

Little Cows and Little Goats

*snort*

Age Is Not a Pretty Thing

Oh, Val Kilmer. There are no words.

Helper Mom

Last night I found out what parties I'll be a homeroom mother for. With two kids in school now, I have to admit I'm getting confused with all that I'll have to do.

Our elementary school merged with one of the other schools that closed, so now we're dealing with a lot of different mothers, mothers who seem to have too much time on their hands.

Not to mention, when I attempted to chat up and make nice with some of the preschool mothers, they looked at me like I'd farted in church. Or else I had a booger in my nose, I don't know.

See, these moms are from the "Peyton Place" elementary school, while our school is looked at as "Deliverance."

And these parties are usually no big deal, but these new moms make it seem like a lot more work that it has to be.

Oh yeah, I have to get fingerprinted too! It's not enough that I've gone through all kinds of clearances in PA for my teaching certification, or that, because of what Husband does, the US Military has checked on me. Nope, I've still got to be fingerprinted to hand out candy to a bunch of ungrateful hooligans little blessings.

Look! That's My Kid!

Not really, but it reminds both my sister and me of my son:

Snort Worthy

Or...maybe it would be considered gag worthy.

BONADUCE!!!

Thankew Holy Candy

Happy Birthday, Dad

Today would have been my father's 66th birthday, so in honor of my dad, a clip from one of his favorite movies:

But Where Was Valerie?

Well, they're actually doing it. Van Halen is actually touring.

And really rockin', if what what I read is any indication.

Roth is still riding around on that giant microphone, but let's hope he's not sporting the assless spandex, hmmm?

But, where was Valerie Bertinelli? Surely she wouldn't let her 16 year old son tour unattended? Hello? Isn't Eddie proof of what can happen on the road???

It's Gonna Hit The Fan

Crap. Crappity crap crap.

A neighboring school district's teachers went on strike this morning. This does not bode well for the district my kids attend, as our teachers have also voted to strike.

See, the neighboring district's teachers have much the same issues that our teachers have (and we have that lovely corrupt school board with their collective heads up their arses), so....I've gotta bad feeling about this.

Here's my question (that an ex-love and current teacher wouldn't, or couldn't, answer): do I send my kids to school, or keep them out, in solidarity with the teachers?