Classic Swooner Picture Post

Richard Burton

(Because I watched The Longest Day again yesterday, which, IMHO, should be required viewing for every American citizen.)

A Very Brady Birthday

Happy Birthday to Barry Williams! You know, Greg Brady!! Anyway, he turns 53 today.

So, I have found a screen shot from the episode where Barry had been smokin' a doobie before taping.

Left Out?

The Fonz is going to be immortalized in Milwaukee.

Okay....wuh?

What about Laverne and Shirley? Lenny and Squiggy? Potsie and Ralph? Richie and Joanie?

Not even Chachi?

Hey, The Fonz was always my favorite, but don't leave out all those other characters....

Thankew Agent Bedhead for the link.

Swooner Dreamboat Visits The Troops

Anyone who hangs out with Air Force folks wins points in my book.

Oh Come On!

Tom Cruise is going to have somebody fired for farting.

Yep, someone who dared to toot during a moment of silence is going to get the boot.

You know what, Tom Cruise? Get over it! Everybody farts. Farts are funny! Especially farting Nazis!

Have your cast and crew call "howdy" next time, make a joke of it!

But, you know what they say....he who smelt it, dealt it.

Now excuse me, I'm off to eat some baked beans.

Happy Happy Happy!

Happy Birthday to Son, who is 8 years old today!

It's Been A While

Sorry for not posting for the past couple of days. I've been feeling like poo, again, what else is new?

So, here's a few things I've picked up in the past few days:

Certain people (the pastor's wife) think they're OJ Simpson. Seriously, who really wears those visor things anymore?

And I can still hide in plain sight pretty well, as I hid from said visor wearer when we saw her in town Saturday.

I guess, seeing as how I have no discernible "spiritual gifts," I have been relegated to babysitter at church. I WAS NOT very happy or in a very Christian mood after that experience, trust me. The conspiracy theorist in me is starting to think they don't want me mixing with adults.

I really don't like Grace Kelly. I rented High Society over the weekend, and while I love Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra (I was born too late; I would have made a great bobby-soxer screaming for Frankie), I cannot stand Grace Kelly. Bleh.

You ask, Vic, why did you rent it, then? Because it's the musical version of The Philadelphia Story, one of my most favorites. I mean, the main character was written for Katharine Hepburn! And who can beat Jimmy Stewart?

Soldiers are dishonest, according to some "comics."

Technically, Husband isn't a soldier (he's an airman), but does that make him dishonest too? What. Evah. I'm just glad I never got sucked into 24, because now I have nothing to give up.

There are no gay people in Iran! Imagine! Well, as Brit Hume stated last night, President Whateverthehellhisnameis killed them all.

That's....that's it, I guess. I would love to stay and chat, but the toilets need to be cleaned.

"Bored" Meeting

Last night I went to the school board meeting, the only highlight being the young man in the FFA Choir who sang for us.

But I found out that one gentleman was asked to leave by the two deputy sheriffs that were standing by, in case anyone gets out of hand.

See, the gentleman that was asked to leave is the same one who has gotten up to speak at the last three board meetings. He doesn't cause a problem, he just asks questions that the board can't answer. So last night, before the guy even walked in the door of the high school, he was asked to leave.

I was stunned. I mean, it's a public meeting, after all. I piped up and said "As much as I hate to recommend this, maybe he should call the ACLU. He has every right to be here!"

And I do, hate to call out the ACLU, but this school board is ridiculous.

Now they want to cut the high school band!

Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh B-O-Y!!

Carrie and Big!! Carrie and Big!!!

More pics here.

Tell Us Something We Didn't Know

John Murtha is one of the most corrupt in Congress.

I don't know about you, but this news doesn't surprise me. I happen to know of some pork this man has cooked up in PA, and I sure as hell know there are plenty of folks kissing Murtha's arse where Husband is employed.

Murtha is a big on Husband's employer. Well, it's just good PR for Murtha....but he's apparently sent a lot of money their way and what not.

Which galls me to no end, because I'm a civilian watching all this happen, and I have to clamp my mouth shut when ever I'm among all those stars, if you know what I mean.

Simply put, I'd like to smack Murtha in the mouth.

Welcome To The Jungle, Old Fart!

In today's local paper I read that our high school marching band is going to be playing songs from...get ready....gird your loins....Appetite for Destruction.

Oh yes, you read that right. Guns N' Roses played by a high school marching band. Among the selections they'll be playing is "Sweet Child O' Mine" and "Welcome to the Jungle."

All to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the release of Appetite.

I just kind of have to shake my head at this. These children weren't even alive when the album was released. Good grief, I was their age (17) when it came out. Do they have any concept of the significance of this band? That they totally kicked those hair metal p**ssies arses?

Do they realize how old this makes me????

Snort Worthy

"Leave OJ alone!!"

Sick Again

Regrettably I'm not going to launch into a Led Zeppelin tune. No, today I'm dealing with a sick kid, Daughter to be exact.

She's had this thing for two weeks now, and she's started coughing so hard that she's just about tossing her cookies and she had a fever....sooooo, she's home now and I'll be running her in to the doctor in a bit.

Ah, the beauty of public education! Why am I among the scant few mothers who actually keep their kids home when they get sick?

UPDATE: It's just a bad cold, according to the doctor. Daughter is now on a ten-day course of amoxicillan. I'm just thankful that this didn't settle in her ears!

Emergency! Birthday

Happy Birthday to Randolph Mantooth, who turns 62 today.

I just think that's a cool name....Mantooth.

Let's all say it: Mantooth.

Get Over Yourself

Hey, Beaky McBeakerson! Get over yourself!!

Good Grief

School picture info came home with the kids yesterday.

What a feckin' racket! I should start taking school pictures! I'd clean up!

Ya see, since both kids are in school now, I no longer see the need to high-tail it to Sears to get pictures done. What a savings for me, right?

Well....considering that grandparents, aunts, and who all want pictures, I chose the $25 package. Which comes out to a total of $50 these shysters are going to make off of me.

Which makes me glad I only have two kids!

OMG! WTF? NOOOOOOO!!!

Those were my exact thoughts when, in the middle of the frozen food aisle in le Mat de Wal I heard the familiar opening beats of a Led Zeppelin song.

("We're Gonna Groove" to be exact.)

I did, I said "Jay-sus Key-rhist! Zeppelin in the Wal-Mart! Make it stop!"

You see, it's one thing to hear 80's songs whilst getting groceries, quite another to hear the greatest band ever while picking out frozen peas.

Just Because

Because Robbo wouldn't do it:

Oh Please

What a load of crap.

Let's glorify stuff that happened 40 years ago, which is pointless because we all know this is probably a thinly veiled swipe at the Iraq War and the current administration.

(Hello? Anyone remember M*A*S*H?)

And I'm not going to apologize for saying I loathe the Beatles.

Get a haircut, hippies!

Hey! I Know That Place!

Brad Paisley is going to film his next music video in his hometown.

Which, in case you were wondering, isn't all that far from where I reside.

Hmm...road trip!

Snort Worthy

All I can say is, be darn glad I don't make videos of myself screaming about Ewan McGregor's mole.

Rabid Britney Spears fan update.

And, Chris Crocker? I don't know where you think a lady's yah-bos are, but they aren't up around the neck.

What A Day

This day has bit the weenie, and it isn't even over yet.

Today is an inservice day, so there's no school. That's right, no school. The kids in this district have more days off than Carter has liver pills. Anyhoo, this is also the day Daughter had to go in for her four-year checkup. She had to get three shots.

She screamed. The nurse drew blood. It was not pretty.

Then I herded the gang over to our mall, where Daughter got her hair cut and then we hit the bookstore to spend disgusting amounts of money on books. One thing you can say about Son, he's a good reader and loves the books as much as his mother does.

Then! We hit Hollywood Video, which to my surprise has a much better selection than Blockbuster. They even have entire shelves of classic movies! Color me happy!

I got this (because I love Rosalind Russell), and this (because I love Elizabeth Taylor), and this (you know why).

The kids got to pick out a movie each, and one video game. I also got a movie for Husband, so everyone is happy.

Now I've got to give Daughter some Tylenol.

"It Doesn't Really Matter"

I don't think this will surprise anyone.

I'm surprised, however, by that Ben Mankiewicz. He's pretty liberal, from what I've read about him, even though he's pretty cute introducing the movies on TCM on the weekends.

So Many To Choose From

This was, like, the only book I found right away that wasn't about The Queen or British Columbia.

Find out the reason for this here.

Let Me Say This About That Pt. 2

While making my way over to the school this morning, I had the misfortune to hear some 9/11 conspiracy theory crap on the radio.

Come on! It's September 11, for goodness sake! Can't these kooks keep it zipped today of all days?

I shan't post my memories of that day six years ago, because my memories are, quite frankly, pretty meaningless in the big picture.

But, if you're going to start ranting about how "it was an inside job" or what ever tripe you subscribe to, could you at least do it on any day but this one?

Let Me Say This About That

Let me say this: I've seen Britney's performance from the other night, and I've got to tell you, since losing the weight, that's pretty much what I look like.

Although, I have sense enough not to run around in a sparkly bikini and boots.

Nope, after two kids and baby weight, no matter how much weight I lose, I'm smart enough to keep myself covered up.

What does that tell you?

Not A Bad Haul

For only being four years old, Daughter didn't do too bad in the birthday haul department.

It was a Barbie -n- Princess day, let me tell you. Princess sheets, pillows, blankets! A Barbie house, clothing, dolls!

I didn't leave Son out in the cold, though. He'd picked up some book a couple weeks ago in Gettysburg, but for what ever reason didn't buy it, so yours truly hopped online and ordered it for him. I handed it to him and said "Yeah, I drove all the way to Gettysburg and back while you were in school to get this."

And he believed me.

But, let me just say that I'm no damn baker. I managed to feck up a box of cake mix! I'm just not on my game in the kitchen anymore, I don't know what my problem is.

In the end, though, Daughter had a very good birthday.

New Swooner Birthday

Colin Firth has the good fortune to share a birthday with my daughter!!

Happy Birthday to my newest Swooner, who is 47 today!

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday to Daughter, a.k.a. Princess, who is four today!!

Uck

Feeling like total crap today, but I've got to pull it together to head in to the GI doc today.

What's the point? I mean, the scope was over two weeks ago, I'm fine, no problems...and yet I'll go.

Well, in an attempt to kill two birds with one stone, I'm going to hit the bookstore to do some birthday shopping for Son, and while we're up there I'll take Daughter to lunch.

But I still feel like a wrung-out dishrag.

Uck.

Uh-Oh

My husband and my son are going to be really happy.

Ya see, plans are in the works for a big screen version of Robotech. Starring Spiderman!

Not only does Husband have this "cartoon" on VHS, but we have video games as well.

And they drive me crazy.

I am not a fan of that anime stuff. Nope.

So, if this thing gets made, expect yours truly to have to sit through it when it comes out on DVD.

Too Hot For This

I said to my husband:

"It is 90 frakkin' degrees outside and I have a cold. It is too hot to have a cold! It should be snowing and, like, 20 degrees outside! But it's not! It's 90 out there and I'm sitting here blowing my nose!"

Damn the germs my children bring home.

And DayQuil? Forget it. It made me so dopey that I almost slept through the entire afternoon.

Fred's In

Well, Fred Thompson is officially running for President, and you know what that means. No more Law & Order episodes....they can't show those Rosanne episodes he was in...and the movies he was in won't be on TV either.

But, and you knew this was coming from me, if they aren't going to show the L&O episodes with ol' Fred, TNT should show the ones with....

HAWT HAWT HAWT

I may not agree with the man's politics, but Johnny Depp is HAWT!!!

That Explains It

Well, no wonder Renee Zellweger swears like a Brit...she's apparently dating Paul McCartney!

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Hey Scott Baio!! Remember when you sang that song on Happy Days??

Wah, wah, wah!

Anyhoo, he's gonna have a girl.

Which brings up an interesting question: what's he gonna name it? I mean, what name could he possibly use, after being with all those women, that won't have some unpleasant memory attached to it?

Well, good luck, Scott Baio, that's all I have to say. My own daughter is, at almost four-years-old, the biggest drama queen I've ever seen.

Oh yeah, Scott? Keep your lech friend Johnny V the hell away from your daughter, mmkay?

Thankew Martinis, Persistence, and A Smile for the link.

The First Of Many Firsts

So, yeah, yesterday was Daughter's very first day of preschool.

She was excited, literally jumping up and down as the bus was approaching, and as the bus pulled away she was safely tucked in the front seat with a big smile on her face.

I, on the other hand, had crawled behind the wheel of La Tahoe and was shedding a few tears.

When Daughter got off the bus, she was worn out. Just dragging herself into the house for a snack, and then staring blankly at the TV. I finally coaxed her in to her room for a nap, at which point she said she had a sore throat.

Sh*t.

And this morning, at 5:00 A.M. she was crying because her nose was all stuffed up.

Damn.

So, I don't know if she'll make it to her second day of preschool! I guess I'll have to wait and see how she feels when I get the kids up to get ready.

What's In The Mail?

Oh boy! Oh b-o-y!!

Guess what I got in the mail yesterday?????

A "Fred '08" sticker!!!!

Whoooooo Hooooooooooooo!

Just Read It

Head on over to my pal NSC and read this post.

And....Hollywood? Brian De Palma? Bite me!!

My husband, with darn near 20 years in service to this country, is NOT a rapist, sadist, murderer.

Pardon my French, but you stupid, fucking bastards! He took an OATH that he takes very seriously, and he LOVES what he does.

And I am very proud of my husband, as well as all the other husbands, wives, brothers, and sisters who are serving this country.

Damn you Hollywood. Damn you Brian De Palma. You live in a country where you have the freedom to make your films, and yet you spit in the faces of the people who fight and have fought for you to enjoy that freedom.

La Dee Frikkin' Da!

Renee Zellweger swears. Like a Brit.

Zellweger says, "From my Bridget Jones days, I still say words like 'brilliant' or 'bollocks' and it sounds very funny in my Texan accent. I love the culture. It's fantastic and now I've got some great friends in England."

Hmmm...not to mention the fact that, I don't know, you got to work with Colin Firth! Hugh Grant! Ewan McGregor!!!!

Jeez Louise!!

Enough Said

Okay, I think we all get it. By now we all know that Hollywood hates the Bush administration.

Do you think we can, you know, move the needle over this obvious repeat in the record?

Look, they're entitled to think what they want, I'm not going to argue with that. Hell, I'm not even calling anyone a traitor because they say what they think (George Clooney!), but come on already!

Therefore, you'll all understand if I say what I think, and that is that I firmly believe we went to Iraq for the right reasons. I have every reason to trust what the administration did, because MY HUSBAND would not lie to me about what he saw.

Enough said!

Moley Moley No More

Swooner Dreamboat had that mole removed from the middle of his forehead.

What. Ever.

I saw him last night on this BBC America show called Top Gear. He drives a Prius! But...well, he does live in London, after all.

Whatwhatwhat??

What is this? The greatest band of all time is getting back together?

Thankew Martinis, Persistence and A Smile

Teaching Again

Who made you?

God made you!!

What else did God make?

God made all things!

Just repeat this, over and over, and you'll know how my morning went.

Apparently, the kids in the nursery aren't just going to play anymore. Nope. They're gonna get some learnin'!

Have you ever tried to get a two-year-old to sit long enough to listen? Or listen at all?

I sort of tossed that teacher's manual to the side, got down on the floor with the one child in the nursery and tried in incorporate what I was supposed to be teaching with the toys that were in the room. I tried.

Hey, cut me some slack. I'm trained for high school ages, not early childhood.

I have a headache.

Who made you?

What'll I Do?

Now that Daughter will be starting preschool next week, the question I've been hearing quite often is "What will you do with yourself?"

Really, what a stupid question.

The better question is: what won't I do?

How about finally being able to clean the toilets without hearing "Mom I gotta POOOOOP!" or vacuuming without being yelled at that no one can hear Spongebob.

Better still, how about grocery shopping alone and not dragging home all those cookies and fruit snacks that my kids insist on sneaking in to the cart. Or making a Wal-Mart running early in the morning alone.

Give me a break, Daughter will only be gone until lunch time, so it isn't even like I have a great big chunk of time to fart around in.

I Like This Guy

So, by now you all pretty much know that I watch General Hospital faithfully, but I also subscribe to the Soap Opera Digest. There's a pretty good interview in the latest issue with Josh Duhon, a.k.a. Logan Hayes. While I haven't quite figured out if I like his character on the show, I like what he had to say:

For now, Duhon is content to focus on work -- and fulfill his goal of taking the pretty out of daytime's young leading men. "That cat Clive Owen, man, I wanna see how that son of a bitch lives because what he brings across on the screen is just mesmerizing," he enthuses. "That's a leading man. Daniel Craig, same thing. I'm sick of these metrosexual pretty boys. A leading man should be a man that you would look at and go, 'I wanna follow you into battle.' Are you gonna follow Jake Gyllenhaal into war? I'm not! You gonna go chase after Jude Law leading a battle cry? I don't think so. Where's the substance? Willis. DeNiro. John Wayne. Steve McQueen. You believe in them, that no matter what happens, it's going to be all right. That's what being a leading man is all about. When I try to do my work, I want people to feel confident and secure with me that, at he end of the day, it's all going to work out."

Well said, man, well said. Now quite messing around with Maxie-pad Jones.

For My Stargazers

I found this just for Husband and Son, who dragged out the telescope last night and saw Jupiter and its four major moons.