Whodunit?

Who's the BASTARD that stole all those VA social security numbers????

Husband tells me tonight to keep an eye on the bills and so forth, now that his SS# has been stolen, along with all the other veterans'.

BASTARD!!!

Pitch a tent

It's that time of year...

With the weather so nice and DAMN HOT I'm reminded, as I usually am, of my reenacting days. I'm grateful for the mod cons of air conditioning, shorts, and tank tops, but I miss - oh how I miss - my reenacting days.

See, in that picture? I've got about 10 layers - T-E-N - layers of clothing on. On a 95 degree day all those layers can be, well, hot, but at least I wasn't wearing wool like Husband.

But yeah, I miss it. The smell of the wood smoke...the smell of the black powder...seeing Husband come back into camp, with black smears on his mouth from biting cartridges, all sweaty...wandering around sutler's row with my bottle of "rot gut" whisky (really root beer)...trying to angle my hips so my hoops tip up so I can catch a breeze...

Ah, the memories. Anyone wanna start up a reenacting unit with me???

Straight Man attends Madonna concert

Madonna spotted the only straight man at her concert in Las Vegas. The giveaway? He wasn't dancing, so she bitched at him.

Well, speculation about sexual orientation aside, maybe the guy was, um, you know, bored?

Read The Llama Butcher's suggestion for Madonna.

Snort Worthy

Helen Thomas photos used for medicinal purposes.

"An Inevitability"

Since that radio gig didn't work out for Diamond Dave, it looks like he may be going back to Van Halen.

I've said it before: break out the ass-less spandex!!!

High five to Brian B for linking this first.

Boycott

I already knew that the Venezulan government owned CITGO, but did you?

Damn The Search Engine!

"They banned The Jawa Report."

Bastard Google.

Click the link to learn about the Anti-Google Search Engine Index that Frank Salvato has created.

I'm huntin' rooster

It would seem that farm livin' is not the life for me.

Our neighbors across the road have roosters. Well, at least one. Anyway, given that we like to sleep with our windows open when it's DAMN HOT out, that bastard rooster keeps waking us up at the crack-of-our-ass dawn.

Bastard.

What makes it worse is when the peacock - yes, I said peacock - starts up too. My gawd.

Time to fire up the AC, I think.

"Curahee!" or How I Spent Memorial Day

It was HOT, DAMN HOT, yesterday, so I spent yesterday watching "Band of Brothers" on the History Channel.

I love that miniseries. It never gets old. I just wish I hadn't had to sit through all those "Washington: Warrior" commercials. And yes, Husband and I watched that program about George Washington last night, how could we not?

Did you see The Longest Day last night on TCM? I love that movie. We watched the first hour, which has my favorite line: "John has a long mustache."

And, oh yeah, I tried to get all dinner prep done before the heat set in. I made a yummy fruit salad (I should post the recipe) and pasta salad. Husband did all the grilling.

Moment of Silence

Good Lord, here we go

Angelina Jolie squeezed out her spawn with Brad Pitt.

Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. That's a girl, by the way.

Gawd, now it begins. Why do I have this perverse feeling of pleasure knowing what Jolie's going through right now? You moms know what I mean. I'm giggling with evil glee, knowing that Jolie's arse is....and her boobs are....

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Shy Bladder?

Or something more, um, explosive?

Private potty time? What the hell is that?

Grow up, Tom.

More than dinosaurs

Well, actually enjoyed the museum yesterday. There was much more there than just dinosaurs. In fact, they didn't have as many dinos as usual, because the dino exhibit is being remodeled.

We went with one of the SILs and her husband and kids, so everyone had fun. I got to talk with the SIL a lot...mostly gossip and what not, but that's what we do. For some reason I found myself getting very interested in the bird exhibits and the stuffed Siberian Tiger.

BUT! I had a brush with celebrity yesterday when the tour bus and equipment truck for RASCAL FLATTS drove past us. They did a show at the Post-Gazette Pavilion last night (45 minutes from my house, btw) and the band drove right past us. Sadly, this was the highlight of my day.

Well, hey, have you seen the video for "I Melt"? JoeDon's posterior...woo woo!

Random Ewan McGregor picture post

Note that he's NOT dressed like produce here.

Ah...whatcha got in your sporran, laddie?

"It should be in a museum!"

Forgive me for thinking of Indiana Jones today, but we're taking the younglings to the museum to look at...dinosaur stuff.

*sigh*

We're doing it for the kids. We're doing it for the kids.

Can you tell I'm less than thrilled?

Swooner Dreamboat sighting

Agent Bedhead had to know I'd link to this one:

"Ewan McGregor is a fruit."

I have no words for this.

But Husband says: "My arse bleeds for him."

He's not so crazy for Swooner Dreamboat.

Happy Birthday Duke!

Today is John Wayne's birthday.

Ah...my hero.

Too Much Credit

Marilyn Manson gives himself too much credit.

I seldom take political advice from rockers, especially that one.

What a morning

I woke up at 6:45 to hear the generator revving up. Oh boy.

At least I was able to feed Son before he went to school; Husband has the kitchen hooked into the generator...and I could make some coffee.

But the dig darn phone didn't work until about a half hour ago, so I'm just now getting caught up on e-mail and blogs.

I hope I never have to call Verizon again. Bastard automated crap.

Since we're on the subject...

...of music, is anyone else having a blast watching VH1 this month? It's "metal month" and yeah, I've tried to watch a few of the programs.

While I will admit to swooning over Bobby Dall (bassist for Poison) when he waved to me at a concert, hair bands were never my favorite. I was more a Megadeth and Iron Maiden chick.

(Murders in the Rue Morge ROCKS!!)

Anyhoo, last night I was watching a show called "Heavy: The History of Metal" or somesuch, and the subject of the PMRC was brought up.

Remember that back in the 80's? Dee Snider said it best when he said "It was a some Senators' wives with nothing better to do." Yeah, I've got to give it to Dee on that one.

So, what struck me was that the rockers that were talking about it were basically bashing the Reagan era conservatism that seemed to fuel the PMRC. But who's wife was leading the charge? And who was on the panel of Senators? Algore! Yes, he who was VP for BillyJeff, oh he of the Oval Office BJ and numerous sexual flings. Algore, getting all puffed up over obscene music!

Conservative my ass. It was the feckin' Democrats trying to use government to take over where the parents should have been involved. And let's not deny that all those little labels did sell more records.

Yeah, I've heard 2 Live Crew...I've heard a lot worse stuff than, say, Twisted Sister or Motley Crue. I still say, listen to "Shout at the Devil" now, twenty years later, and it really is pretty innocent.

And hey, check out some of those videos. All that makeup. Those faces they made! All that hairspray. Goodness.

At least Dave Mustaine doesn't wear lipstick!!!

Dixie Bitches

Frankly, I could give a crap about what Bruce Springsteen would do.

I'm so sick and tired of these damn singers spouting off their feckin' political views. Natalie Maines, the chubby Dixie Bitch, acts like she takes the moral high road; she's soooo superior. Ha... This is the same woman who sang about killing a guy named Earl with poisoned black eyes peas!

Larry the Cable Guy, of all people, said it best when he said something to the effect that if Maines hadn't hit it big in music, she'd be working at a Lane Bryant in Nashville. And I love how she's still shooting off her yap about Toby Keith...and he's a conservative Democrat. Now she's trying to drag Reba into her delusions.

I've never really liked the Dixie Bitches, and truth to tell I wouldn't use their liner notes to wipe my arse with.

Vote in PA

Since I don't live in PA anymore, and I never lived in this particular area, I wish I could vote for Diana Irey.

Why? She's running against Murtha, that's why.

I'm not allowed to say anything, much, because Murtha's been good to Husband's place of employ, and for me to shoot my mouth off would mean trouble for Husband. So....now I have to clamp my jaws whenever I'm around Husband's co-workers. Not easy, let me tell you.

Well, hell, that won't stop me from mentioning something here, right?

Conservative Rock

Hey, music lovers. Go get yourselves a copy of National Review, June 5, 2006 edition, page 45. John J. Miller has a list of 50 conservative rock songs. He states:

Miller also states:

So, I give you the list. With respect to space and what not, I won't include the descriptions of each song; you'll have to go get the mag for yourself.

Take special note of #5 on the list. It's "our song" for Husband and me.

Feelin' hot, hot, HOT

It must have been 80's day at Curves yesterday; they were playing a lot of songs from that time...and "Feelin' Hot Hot Hot" in particular. You remember that Buster Poindexter song, right?

Well, when those chickies are trilling "REAL HOT!!" I burst out laughing. I was reminded of the days back in high school when my friends and I would warble right along with it....and I hope that lady across from me didn't think I was laughing at her.

But I couldn't help it.

How you feelin'? HOT HOT HOT!!!

I feel a letter to the editor coming

My mom is in a bad mood this morning. Why? Well, you'd be kind of pissy too if you had to clean up the dig darn street at 3 A.M. because the garbage man is useless.

My step-father called the garbage people and told them Knucklehead got garbage all over the street, and do you know what happened? The three guys on the truck showed up and asked to use a shovel and broom...in the wee hours of the morning. Um, shouldn't they already have that kind of stuff?

Just one more reason I'm glad I no longer live in the Erie, PA area. Asshats.

Aw...I won't write any letters to the Dreary Daily Times, what's the point? Damn Democrats up there...bastards.

Bored Blogging

Is blogging bored the same thing as blogging drunk? We'll see.

Why am I bored? I don't know, I have enough to keep me busy. This is the time of day, when Daughter is napping, that I usually start eating like a big, fat pig...and I'm trying to avoid that.

So, here I am, listening to the Queer Eye soundtrack, of all things, and blogging. Hey, I already ran a virus and Ad Aware scan, give me a break. At least I'm not stuffing my face with those Milano cookies I bought the other day.

Yesterday, during a conversation with my mother, I said I wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box. She said she didn't like to hear me say that about myself, to which I replied I get it out there before anyone else has the chance to. It has nothing to do with self-esteem issues, I told her, but there are those Estranged Family Members (heretofore called EFM) who have said far worse about me.

That didn't seem to satisfy my mother, but what did she expect. She'd just told me I should patch things up with EFM, and I said "HELL NO." Just like that, too. While I can admit that talking about EFM here in this blog was wrong (which, btw, is an ass stupid thing to fight about, if you ask me), EFM pulled a real boner with they started acting like they were back in frikkin' study hall or something. I can't forgive this person for some of this crap. And the methods used...my GAWD, are we in high school or something?

I was told by a friend of mine that if I let people censor me then I should just be a Liberal Democrat, and those that try to tell me what to blog about are no better than Liberals. Hmmm....well, we all know how I feel about Libs, so piss off.

After all this "turmoil" within my own family I asked Husband who I could piss off in his family. Why stop with mine, know what I mean? I haven't lost any sleep over EFM, and I'll be damned if I'd cry into my pillow if, say, Husband's brother decided never to speak to me again.

Am I anti-family? No, just anti-family-bullshit. I get enough of that family obligation shit from the in-laws, and that's just what it is, shit. Shouldn't it be that two-way street situation? It's not, trust me.

So I broke my vow to myself that I wouldn't discuss my EFM here in this blog, but I'm so feckin' bored...fuck it.

I'm going to start getting supper together so I can go up to Curves tonight and know that Husband and the younglings (the only family I give a goddamn about right now) are fed.

I should blog bored more often...I feel cleansed somehow.

Bugger off.

Creepy

Um...okay. This man? Really?

Is it me or does he strongly resemble some 70's throwback weenie? I mean, look at his hair! He probably smells like Jovan Musk, too.

Ten bucks says he's got at least three gold chains on...and those tacky ankle zip bootie things.

As my mother would say, I'll bet he stains his underwear.

What? A TV show?

I must be, like, the only person in America who wasn't watching "24" last night.

Loooooooser!

House for Sale

Prime real estate, right in my price range.

Not really, but wouldn't it be something?

Gone Fishin'

Blog fishing, that is.

Random Yak sets up the "rules" very nicely, if you're interested in playing along.

h/t: A Rose By Any Other Name

"This is a family channel?"

Husband kept saying that last night, every time we saw a commercial for some show called "Falcon Beach."

We were watching a movie on the ABC Family Channel ("The Count of Monte Cristo" if you care) and every single commercial was for that new Beach show.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the way these characters were acting. The kids couldn't have been more than 18 (if these characters are suppposed to be older, my apologies) but there's some girl saying to a guy:

"Can we be friends with benefits?"

Cut to them making out on a bed.

Hence Husband's comment about this being a family oriented channel. I mean, this is the same channel that has all those cute Christmas programs on every day in December. And now they're promoting a show with teenage kids sleeping with each other???

Why we even need these kinds of shows is beyond me anyway, no matter what channel they're on.

Put some clothes on!

I don't understand this. I wear more than this when I...well, I wear more than this!

(And the world heaves a collective sigh of relief.)

Breakdown or not, Brit, put some appropriate clothes on.

And as for almost dropping SPF...I'm at a loss. IF Brit had been wearing, say, sneakers, and IF her pants weren't all bagged around her feet, and IF she'd had both hands on the kid...

How much do you want to bet we hear something about SPF pulling the TV or a hot iron on his head.

Get the Led out

Husband is playing some of the Led Zeppelin he has on his laptop. This is fine with me, as I love Zeppelin more than anything.

Anyway, Daughter is dancing around, shaking her booty to the music, which is making Husband and I laugh...and then I remember with stunning clarity that this is the stuff I used to listen to in college - with my ex-fiance.

So now I want to sit around smoking Marlboro Reds and drinking Mickey pounders.

Not exactly proper Sunday morning behavior...

Buy this fort

A Civil War-era fort is up for sale on eBay.

I read this article to Husband, since, you know, we're both such history buffs. No, we're not going to bid on it, but Husband remarked that it's pretty sad, and:

"Some dip will get a hold of it and probably turn it into an amusement park."

Now, if Husband and I got it, we'd get a Gatling gun and start shootin'.

Sunday Morning

My children have amazing internal alarm clocks. No matter what, Daughter is up at 6 a.m. and Son is up at 7 a.m.

I especially love that they come into the bedroom while Husband and I are sleeping and then proceed to stare at us. I awake with a jolt to find a fuzzy pink blob with blonde hair staring at me. (I'm blind without my glasses.)

I have been giving thought to starting another blog, one I'm not telling anyone about. After everything that's gone down, I wish I hadn't told anyone about this blog, and so thought about going back to Blogsnot and blogging the way I wanted to in the first place. Not under the name GroovyVic, not blogrolling it here, and NOT telling friends and family about it.

But then I took a look at all the pens and paper I have around here and decided to just vent the old fashioned way.

We're starting to make our summer plans. Next month we're taking the younglings to see that "Science of Star Wars" thing, and I think we're going to have company over the 4th of July. Husband and I were also tossing around the idea of renting a cabin out in the middle of nowhere, something we've always wanted to do. Although, if you were to see where we live you'd say we already have a house in the middle of nowhere...and we can hike and do all kinds of nature things...who knows. Somehow our plans always fall through because of some family thing with the in-laws that is so earth shatteringly important that we must drop everything.

Got to get ready for church. I'm not in the mood.

Photographic Proof...

...that I was in California. Bear Valley, CA, to be exact.

Yeah, that's yours truly in the lower right hand corner.

Snort Worthy

SaveSeanPreston.org

Check out the blog too...

h/t: Martinis, Persistence, and A Smile

I've figured it out

Oh, so that's my problem, that I'm not a vegetarian.

I eat too much meat...

My husband would disagree.

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I wasn't confused

Yeah, okay, "Britney's Law?"

Isn't it basically the same all over the country regarding car seats?

I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box, but I was pretty clear as to the rules and regulations about car seats. Law and order every time, that's me.

I don't see how it can be so confusing. Oh wait, I forgot who we're dealing with here.

Break out the vitamins and start exercising...

Katie "Kate" Holmes has the baby blues.

We mothers know what Katie's going through, but of course, we're probably "glib."

I don't wonder why she'd be tired, though, it seems like Cruise skipped out to promote his new movie right after the baby was born.

Happy Happy!!

Happy Birthday to Gary!!!

Got the travel bug

All this flying and what not has given me the yen to travel some more, so when I got home from Reno I sat down to find out just how much it would cost to fly to Scotland.

Yes, Scotland.

Well, it's a good thing Husband and I plan on going after Daughter graduates from high school in fifteen years. We'll need that long to save up!

It's nice to have a goal, isn't it?

Swooner Dreamboat movie news

Ewan "Swooner Dreamboat" McGregor is going to be in Woody Allen's next movie.

Ah....will he be naked in this one????

The Final Countdown

Ten days left of school.

I never thought I'd be happy to see school end for the year. Now Son will have the chance to be relatively germ free for a few months.

Yes, he managed to get another cold!

Terror in the Night

If a child screams in the middle of the night, why is the mother the only person who hears and attends to the child?

Daughter has been having what she calls bad dreams and screaming and crying every night. This comes and goes with her; sometimes she'll sleep through the night just fine, but since we all got home from our travels she's been screaming and crying (real tears) every night.

Son has never done this, so this is something entirely new for our household. Only I'm the one who hears Daughter.

Do we as women lose the ability to sleep soundly forever? It used to be I could sleep through raging thunder storms, but now it's like I'm on the edge of a deep sleep.

But don't worry, every once in a while I make Husband get up and soothe Daughter. Why should I have all the fun?

Thank you thank you thank you!

Big thanks, hugs, love and kisses to Agent Bedhead, who guest blogged here this past weekend.

Loving the Ewan "Swooner Dreamboat" pics....

Feel free to post here anytime. Really!!! My bloggy doors are always open!

Ummm, okay

I did not watch President Bush's speech Monday night. I used that time to watch Friday's episode of "General Hospital" that I'd taped.

Oh, shut up. Anna Devane was coming back, Sam was having that life threatening brain surgery...

I realize that this is a hot button topic, and my mouth is going to write any checks my butt can't cash.

Recovering

I'm just now getting back into the blog stuff. I had to get to the laundry today - I can't just not do it - and once I got Daughter to take a nap, I did the same. I slept most of the day away!

Luggage update: Husband was able to retrieve my suitcase last night, since he flew in later.

Soooooo...I'm getting around to my favorite blogs, slowly but surely.

I'm Back

Yes, it's me, and I'm back from my adventure out West.

Feckin' United put my luggage on the wrong G**D*** plane. Bastards. So I have no luggage to unpack at the moment.

I also hate O'Hare with the red hot passion of a million burning suns.

BUT! The trip to Reno was a lot of fun. Yes, I gambled - the slots - and yes, I won. And yes, I turned around and lost it all in the slots. Husband played Blackjack and doubled his money. For some reason the movie "Casino" kept going through my mind.

We also saw Mr. Bill Cosby. It was awesome.

We ventured into CA as far as Nevada City. I told Husband I was getting a creepy Liberal vibe...and then I saw "Impeach Bush" and "Free Palestine" bumperstickers. We got the hell out of there.

I drank too many gin and tonics last night (you know, the free ones you get when you gamble) but didn't have a hangover today.

Yep, toured Virginia City, Lake Tahoe...found the Cal-Neva. For a Sinatra fan like me, that was a HUGE deal.

I have concluded that I do not, in fact, like the desert. I got a sunburn on my right arm...through the car window!

I overdosed on pimple cream and looked like a snake. Nerves about the trip combined with the consequences of my gender made me a pimple faced geek.

But! I did get out there and back by myself. DFW isn't that bad...but damn you to hell O'Hare! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

I took very few pictures. I left that to Husband...who had to then videotape and narrate every damn place we went.

Okay. I need to get the younglings to bed and get something to eat.

It's Lika A Prophecy, Y'all!

As we all know, Britney Spears is unfortunately pregnant with her second child. She has revealed that her talented skills at the piano may have foretold her first pregnancy:

"I wrote this song ['Someday'] at my piano, at my house. I wrote it two weeks before I found out that I was pregnant, so it was really kind of weird, because the song's about having a baby ... It's kind of like a prophecy."

Mmmmm. Ewan In Kilt.

A Rare Display of Sentiment

Wishing all of GroovyVic's readers an awesome Mother's Day! All mothers are required to relax all day and enjoy footrubs, breakfast in bed, and dinner at their favourite restaurant.

- Agent Bedhead

P.S. It appears that there is a sleeping angel in my daughter's bedroom. Hmmm. I wonder how that happened!

O.J. Simpson Is Not Amusing

O.J. Simpson has a new candid-camera show, "Juiced," in manner of Ashton Kutcher's far more stylish Punked program. The main difference between the two shows is that while Kutcher's pranks are generally funny, O.J. Simpson's sense of humor is completely sick.

In one episode, Simpson attempts to sell the infamous white Bronco at a used car lot and tells folks that he increased the vehicle's value by making it famous:

"It was good for me - it helped me get away," Simpson said, referring to the slow-speed, televised police chase that preceded his 1994 arrest on charges of murdering his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ronald Goldman.

Ronald Goldman criticized Simpson's comment as "morally reprehensible." The Brown family attorney, Gloria Allred, plans to go after Simpson's profits as part of the mostly unsatisfied $33.5 million dollar judgment to the Brown and Goldman families.

Shameless Ewan McGregor Eye Candy

Ahhh yes...nothing like a Scottish man in a kilt. I can certainly see why Miss Groovy refers to him as the "Swooner Dreamboat."

Movie News

I hear there's going to be a remake of "The Omen."

Love this movie, in fact I just watched it again a couple weeks ago. Gregory Peck! Horror without being too gruesome!

The new movie has Liev Schrieber in the Peck role, and Julia Stiles in the mom role. Mia Farrow is going to be Satan's disciple/the nanny.

And in the "It Was Bound to Happen" category: a big screen version of "Knight Rider."

Where are they going to find someone better than The Hoff, right Hector Vex?

"I shot a man in Reno..."

You know I'm going to have that going through my head this entire weekend.

I hate packing. What's worse is that now I have to pack for two kids. Son isn't that bad, he doesn't have the accoutrements that Daughter has at this age, so packing for him shouldn't be a trial. Daughter, on the other hand...

Speaking of, why in the hell was she up at 5:30 this morning? I was ready to scream.

Anyway, we'll just see how the day goes. I've got to get the kids up to meet my mother this afternoon, and then come back and pack my own stuff.

Be thinking of me tomorrow, as I fly the friendly skies alone. Especially since I've got to brave DFW on the way out and O'Hare on the way back...alone.

On a different note, and nobody will really care about this, 14 years ago I graduated from college. The only reason I know this is because pulled out my St. Christoper medal, the one my parents gave me when I graduated, and there it was, inscribed on the back: 5-9-92. Oh, when I think of those days...I was thin!

Well, so...uh huh...

Riddle Me This

As if we needed further confirmation, celebrities are stupid.

So noTORIous.

I must have been the only paranoid pregnant woman on the planet; I never went shopping for baby clothes when I was, like, an hour pregnant. Oh wait, I was also sick as a dog and would have had to carry an industrial sized bucket everywhere.

Which is why I don't understand these Hollyweird types. They may be pregnant but aren't even showing yet, and they're out looking at upscale baby clothes. (Which leads me to wonder why they get such pricey stuff that will ultimately be either outgrown in a week, pooped on, or puked on. Tsk.)

These asshats know that any move they make will be reported on, and yet they fuel the fire by traipsing all over MotherCare.

And once again, it boggles the mind that we, and I include myself in this, make such a big deal about the reproductive habits of famous people. Really, they aren't the first or only women to have babies; this isn't a new concept, folks. But I still say if there's any cosmic justice in this world, women like Angelina Jolie will have sore butts, rock-hard boobs, and be tired as hell for three months.

Stars! They're just like us!

Snort Worthy

From an e-mail:

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
manufactured in England.
In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for
delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
Which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in
New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
delivered to Mexico.
But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York.
The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise,
And were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.
Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning,
Which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th
And is known, of course,
As
Sinko de Mayo.

Tom Cruise=Lame

Big, fat, hairy deal!

(No, I'm not talkin' about my arse.)

Tom, do you really want to "make Holmes' first Mother's Day special"?

Let her go, man. LET HER GO.

Get off the baby's mother!

In Which I Hack Husband's Laptop

Explain to me why my damn laptop won't connect to the server and Husband's does. I pulled up the wireless utiltiy programs on both of our computers; everything was exactly the same, yet mine won't connect to our server downstairs. I know he uninstalled the Bluetooth stuff yesterday, but that shouldn't have had anything to do with the network stuff.

Damn computers. You know, I blame Algore for this. Bastard.

But, at least I don't have to sit in the basement to get online. And I was able to go check out the website for my friend Elvis's (is that right?) band. I'm not going to link it until I get the okay from him. But it's pretty cool.

And Husband doesn't have to worry about me looking at his info on this computer. My gawd, it boggles the mind. What-evah.

Seeing as how I have yet to scan my favorite blogs and whatnot, I'm pretty much at a loss right now, except to bitch about the DAMN COMPUTERS AND WHY DO I HAVE ONE IT IS SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS THEY CAN PUT A MAN ON THE MOON BUT THEY CAN'T GIVE ME HIGHSPEED INTERNETS CONNECTIONS.

Damn you to hell, Algore.

I got very little sleep last night. Better to use this mood on some Moonbats, right?

And, what in the name of all that is red, white, and blue are Screamin' Howard Dean and George Snuffleupagus doing calling Nancy Pelosi "speaker-to-be?" And she says a woman needs to clean up the House? Bah.

Nancy Pelosi, FAH-Q!

Wouldn't you know it?

I took Husband to the airport today - in the city that starts with "P" and ends in "-burgh." Yeah, well, let me say this, by the time we found a place to park and walked all that way into the airport, he could have walked to Reno.

Anyway, at least I got the lay of the land, so to speak. I know where to go, where to park, where to check in and all that. I have to be there fairly early on Friday so I shouldn't hit too much traffic.

But! No sooner do Daughter and I get home but the damn Jehovah's Witnesses show up! Damn damn damn! Daughter was in her room, to take a nap, and I was cleaning out La Tahoe when I heard them drive up.

I hid. Yes, I hid from them. But here's the thing: if I didn't answer the doorbell, why the hell would I answer if you're banging on the damn door?

Sheesh. Next time I'm going to meet them at the door with a big cross and tell them it's my birthday, and my husband who's in the military just had a blood transfusion.

Buggers.

And now, unless Husband can give me a network tutorial over the phone, blogging just may be sparse this week, as the only computer I can use is in the basement. Ah well, I can blog and do the laundry!

Um, Katie? Kate? What ever your name is?

A word of advice, from one mother to another:

Hook up your nursing bra, wash your hair, and get some sleep!

Hello? Sleep when the baby sleeps! Get a haircut! What the hell is that about anyway?

Words to live by

"Get over it
Get over it
All this whinin' and cryin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it, get over it "

- The Eagles

We would all do well to remember these words, hmmmm?

It's a Learning Experience

I love you people. Really. I've learned so much!

Yesterday, while reading Beth's (MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy) interview over at basil's blog, I learned a new term:

"Cupid Stunt."

Love it!

The Gloved One is MAD

Michael "Hee Hee OW!" Jackson has his panties in a twist over a spoof picture.

(Ten bucks says he actually stomped his foot in anger.)

Much truth in jest, that's all I'm sayin'.

Pink Floyd still on the charts

First, I'm NOT a Pink Floyd fan. Maybe I'm not cerebral enough...don't smoke enough weed?...but I don't get the attraction.

The Dark Side Of The Moon has been on the U.S. charts for 1500 weeks.

That must mean there's been a lot of listening parties while watching The Wizard of Oz.

Yeah, I don't get it. Husband and I got an invitation to see Roger Waters...I said I wasn't addicted to enough drugs to enjoy that stuff.

So shoot me! I don't like Pink Floyd!!

I've always thought so

From The Conservative Voice:

Liberals are Insane.

Yes, they are.

Stages

Admit it, fellow bloggers, you've felt this way too. You reach a point where you wonder why in the hell you still have a blog; what's the point? Either you feel like no one is reading what you have to say, or you have nothing to say at all.

This past week I reached that point, only I felt like this blog had gotten me into more trouble than it's worth. Regular readers know how I tend to shoot off my mouth about certain things, and through my humble posts I've gotten into some verbal issues with others.

In the past week I've found out just how big my mouth really is, and to be honest, I got a little bit angry. I felt almost censored...spied on...watched...paranoid?

Well, yeah, paranoid. But this morning when I got a couple of rather non-complementary comments I let loose on Husband.

"Why is it that other women can post about whatever; their lives, their issues, and everyone loves them, but when I try to talk about this or that someone gets a fart crosswise or leaves nasty comments?! The biggest damn mistake I ever did was tell my friends and family about this stupid blog."

To which Husband calmly (he's always calm) told me that this is no different than those Libs who used to come around and pick fights, and I didn't quit after that, why stop now?

He's right. That, combined with an e-mail from a fellow and well-respected blogger bolstered me up and I'm not feeling so whiny and self-pitying anymore. Quite frankly, it got annoying.

So, dammit, this is my damn blog, and I'll say it again: if you happen to come to my page and don't like what you read, be an adult (try, really hard) and just keep moving. If you're one of those trolls, well, you're welcome to stick around, but once in a while it would be nice to actually get some feedback. Do you think I do this to hear myself talk? Cripes, I've got kids for that!

Oh Please!

George Allen: Confederate Sympathizer?

This person, this Ryan Lizza, is full of crap.

I suppose, then, that because my husband and his "pards" who suited up in grey and butternut all those years ago are racist too? Cripes, then would all Confederate reenactors be racist?

What a load of tripe. Really.

And you know what? I too have a Confederate flag. I don't fly it, but I have one. OH NO! Call the "New McCarthyists!"

It's a birthday

Today is George Clooney's birthday.

All together now: AWWWWWWWWW.

Not.

Tom Cruise is a pig

I don't know how any of you ladies would feel, but if Husband had signed me up for something called "Buff Brides" I would have been pretty pissed.

Gawd, Tom Cruise is so full of crap...bastard. Bastard man!

Ten bucks says Katie Holmes winds up looking like some female body builder, all buff and ripped, with a low, manly voice.

Yeah, just what the pillow biter Cruise wants. Jackass.

Not Fonda This

Dammit.

First Susan Sarandon and Revlon, and now Hanoi Jane is hawking L'Oreal.

Dammit.

Snort Worthy pt. II

From The Llama Butchers:

That guy, whateverhisnameis...you know, the Grand Tampon of Al Qeada...well, there's some interesting new footage.

Snort Worthy

Loving this one!

Agent Bedhead's take on pop in school...and BillyJeff's role in the deal.

The one where I'm triumphant

Last night I had to venture down to the basement to find the next book in the series that I'm reading (Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series, for those who care). I embarked with the flashlight so I could look through the stacks. Why the flashlight? Weeeeeel, I'll tell ye...

After living for the past two years with all our books still packed in boxes in the basement, Husband finally started the bookshelves. He's got two sections done, and they're beautiful. He filled them up too, almost unpacking all the books, but there's still about half a dozen that are still packed up. (We likey our books...)

Anyway, he's got the existing shelves covered with tarps so he won't get sawdust all over the books that are in them. Which means, if I want to find a book I have to dive under the tarps with the flashlight. Which I did last night. Only the book I was looking for wasn't there.

After literally digging through the six remaining boxes of books, I found the one I was looking for in the last box...in plain sight. Yeah, well...but! I also found my copy of North and South! I raced back upstairs with my book and crowed to Husband:

"I found North and South! Now I can re-read the trilogy this summer!"

He gave me the same expression you probably have on your face right now: he rolled his eyes...but grinned at me just the same.

Now, want to hear a humiliating story about me?

Pearl Jam

I admit it, I too gave in to the "grunge" thing years ago. I had the flannel, the long hair...of course, that was also in my college and post-college raging Liberal days. (And did I mention I got my life insurance policy the day Kurt Cobain shot himself? Eerie...)

And yeah, I thought Eddie Vedder was cute, which is why I own a copy of the movie Singles...and the soundtrack. And the Pearl Jam CD's...and all the Nirvana ones, too.

So when I heard that Pearl Jam was coming out with a new CD, I tried to listen to their latest song. "Tried" being the operative word, here.

I couldn't understand a word Vedder was singing. Either I'm way too old or....I'm just way too old now, I guess.

Ten Simple Pleasures

Swiped from Junebee.

10. A cold Coca-Cola

9. A warm autumn day with a nice breeze and bright sunshine

8. Getting all the laundry done

7. Watching Husband play with the younglings

6. Husband's laugh

5. Crawling into bed at night after a nice, hot shower

4. Wandering around a bookstore - alone

3. The younglings' laughing

2. A really good book

1. Sitting on my porch on a summer day reading a really good book.

Snort Worthy

Ha. Talk about a whore in church...

You know...I wouldn't go into any church Paris Hilton was in. I'd be too afraid of getting fallout from the lightning that would strike her.

Just Do It

Nicole Kidman apparently doesn't want to sign a pre-nup.

Nic, Nic, Nic! Look at Keith, woman! He's so pretty...

Just sign the damn thing! Keith Urban is too pretty to let get away! And he can sing too!

He's sure an improvement over Tom Cruise, huh?

"This was not photoshopped"

"No illegals ----> No burritos"

Thanks a lot, muchacho. My colon thanks you, and my family thanks you.

Sheesh.

via Gary

Out of the mouths of babes

Daughter is filling her pants. I know this because she's under the dining room table doing her duty, and I just happen to have the laptop on said table, where I'm righthissecond typing this.

I said "You pooped!"

She said "NO! Go back to your patooter!"

Ha. She doesn't know how right she is.

I may be sick

I just ate my lunch and then I saw this.

I have nothing against big fake boobies...but this is just...ugh...*urp*...blech.

And WTF is up with that eyeliner????

Oh, I like this one!

Blog Bud BrianB posts about supporting the war.

Loving it, LOVING IT!!!

On this date...

Robert the Llama Butcher is a man after my own heart.

Check out his great post about what happened on this date in history.

Huzzah!

Potty Mouth

And you guys thought I had a potty mouth?

Madonna once again shows us what a "lady" she really is.

You kiss your kids with that mouth, Esther?

h/t to ThirDEE for linking this first

No Comment

I'm not going to say much about that "boycott" yesterday. I was able to hear some conservative talk radio yesterday morning; the stuff I heard kind of, well, scared the hell out of me.

The show I listen to managed to get soundbites of someone whose name I didn't catch, going on and on about how they are the majority, they take care of the bratty kids, do the cleaning, etc. This person then turned and started shouting "Go back to Beverly Hills!" This person claimed that all those immigrants were going to take over the U.S.

And the Communists got involved? Is that what I heard?

At any rate, I haven't been keeping up on that kind of stuff like I should, so I'm just not going to offer up any kind of opinion here.

Today is primary day in the Buckeye state, and yes, I will be going over to my polling place to vote.

Booky Bookworm

Once again, I got nothin' today.

I'm about to fight the Battle of Prestonpans with Claire and Jamie...

So I'm kind of wrapped up in something else.

A rhyme for today

Hooray, Hooray!
The first of May!
Outside screwing starts today!