Bound to Happen

I got word today that - get ready for it - the kids are going to have to go to school until June 6 because the district will be closed tomorrow!

Apparently, some of the bus drivers complained about not being paid for tomorrow, and some bonehead on the school board decided that the kids should make it up.

When I heard this news I was in the elementary school's office to pick up Son, and I said:

"Are you f***ing kidding me?"

On the way home, Son practically begged me to let him not go to school on Tuesday or Wednesday. And you know what? I'm going in Monday morning and talking to the teacher about it. This is complete bulls**t.

Of course, after my outburst in the office, the principal wouldn't even look at me. The amazing thing is that I had my Led Zeppelin shirt on; moms that would usually talk to me avoided me like I'd farted or something once they saw my shirt.

Isn't that stupid?

Moby Dick

Just a small sample from the birthday boy:

And!!!

"It's cool, it's groovy, it's #1, The Led Zeppelin."

Those crazy Brits....

Bonzo's Birthday

Happy happy to the dearly departed drummer for the best band ever, John Bonham, who would have turned 59 today!

Ah, Bonzo....many may try to sit behind a drum kit and fill in for you (Phil Collins at Live Aid, feh!), but no one comes close!

Figure This Out

Son hops off the bus yesterday and informs me that there is no school on Friday.

"You're fibbing," says I.

"No! Really! There's a note in my backpack and the principal said there was no school on Friday!" Son vehemently replied.

So I take all the papers and so forth out of said backpack and lo and behold the district will be closed on Friday.

Why, you ask?

The baseball team is going to play some championship game in Columbus, and apparently the superintendent thinks so many people are going to go that no one will be around to teach.

Now, I'm as much of an athletic supporter (!!!) as the next person, but the only way I'd travel 2 1/2 hours to Columbus is to watch the Buckeyes.

So now I'm a little perplexed because Friday June 1 was supposed to be the last day of school, but because of school closings back in January and February, the kids have to go until June 5.

The kicker here is that the superintendent could have filed some kind of paperwork with the state to exempt two of those snow makeup days because the entire county was shut down due to icy roads. But she didn't.

Everyone pisses and moans about how bad our schools are, how bad this district is, blahblahblah, and then they close the works down for baseball?

I can't fight the school board, I guess.

Go wildcats!

Odd Commenter

So, did you watch Star Wars: The Legacy Revealed last night?

I did; I taped it for Son, since the show was on past his bedtime.

But as the program begins, who's there making comments on the movies?

Nancy F***ing Pelosi!

"Nancy Pelosi for Christ's sake?" was what issued forth from my lips.

"Oh, they're not pandering politically," said Husband.

Of course, Newt did pop up a few times with something to say.

And as for me watching the entire program, I didn't. I fell asleep sometime around 10:00 P.M., but woke up when I heard my Swooner Dreamboat yell that his allegiance was to democracy.

Ahhhhh.......Swooner Dreamboat.....

Blah Blah Blah Whine Whine Whine

You know I don't link to Lib blogs, but when I heard that Crusty Sheeman was calling it quits, I just had to check it out.

I heard it suggested that she move down to Venezuela, since she likes Chavez so much.

Let me help you pack, Crusty.

The Hunt for Missing Blender

Or: How I Spent My Weekend.

Somehow, in the three years since we moved in to this house, our blender has disappeared. Don't ask me how, but Husband searched (literally) high and low and didn't come up with anything.

Well, he did find the missing Spider-Man action figure, so at least the kids were happy.

Not to worry, though. Husband used his 10% military discount at Lowe's and bought me a new one. Just in time for me to start soft solids! Last night's repast included pureed pasta salad!

Gross!

General Birthday

Happy Birthday to Anthony Geary, a.k.a. Luke Spencer, who turns 60 today!

Don't know who this is? Hello? Luke of Luke and Laura! Here he is, from those glory days 25 years ago, with uber-cool Tristan Rogers, a.k.a. Robert Scorpio.

Yeah, I watch a soap. So what?

Smart Man!

H/T: Not So Confidential

Memorial Day

Television Viewing

I could talk about how yesterday I watched a re-broadcast of a program called "Hippies" on the History Channel, but I won't. I endured enough criticism from Husband for watching it.

It was like a car accident! I couldn't stop looking!

But what I will mention is...Star Wars! See, tomorrow night the History Channel is going to talk about Star Wars: The Legacy Revealed.

So, watch it, because we're going to watch it.

Think of Laura Birthday

Happy happy to Genie Francis, who turns 45 today!

Don't tell me you don't know who Genie Francis is! She's only one half of super couple Luke and Laura from General Hospital!

But she was also in my all-time favorite mini-series (even if the powers that be took too much license with the story), North and South.

Happy Birthday, Duke!

Happy Birthday to John Wayne, born on this day in 1907!

They don't make men like this anymore.

Random Ewan McGregor Picture Post

On a hot day like this, how about a hot picture?

Hard Habit to Break

This morning, after Daughter's dental appointment, we zipped across the street to the grocery store to pick up a few things for a picnic we're going to this weekend. (For which I'm bringing a side dish and a dessert....that I cannot even eat.)

Anyway, as soon as we walked in to the store we were slapped in the face with the smell of freshly baked doughnuts.

"Bastards," I muttered under my breath. My stomach let forth a roar, much louder than my mumble.

Then I swung around to MickyD's so Daughter could have a treat, and there again was hit with the scent of fries and burgers.

"Dammit!" I yelled.

So, as I was driving home I realized what a bad habit I had of scarfing down doughnuts, fast food, and the like. I know that, in the long run, this surgery and diet can only be good for me, and maybe - just maybe - I can finally get over eating so much junk.

Let's hope, because right about now I'd sell my kids to be able to eat something solid for a change.

And I Thought I Was Bad!

I admit, right hand to God, that I'd never really seen any of the Star Wars movies until Episode III came out and I wanted to know what the fuss was all about.

I was never really that interested, you see.

But this guy is another story entirely.

I know my reasons for not watching, and my reasons for finally falling into the whole SW thing....

Crazy Horses Just Like a Yo-Yo

The Osmonds are reuniting to celebrate their (gasp!) 50th Anniversary!

Just wear those pants, boys!

Even Jimmy's getting in on it.

Jimmy Osmond? Seriously? Yeesh, I hardly remember that one.

By the by, didja notice how I used two song titles for the title of this post? Yeah, those were a couple of my favorites...

One Week Later

If I had known last week what I know now, I'd have stocked up an a lot more straws.

You see, small, s-l-o-w sips are best, and this can best be accomplished with a straw. Gulps and chugs aren't too smart. They hurt.

But, I can honestly say that I feel a lot better, if only a bit frustrated over my food situation.

I'm not proud, I'm admitting here and now that I bought some baby food today. It can't hurt, right? Next week when I move on to the soft solids part of my diet, I want to be ready. I think I've forgotten how to chew!

As for weight loss, I've lost ten pounds thus far. A friend of mine told me yesterday that I've lost too much, and I laughed. I've got a week to go on the liquid diet! But I can see my cheekbones again; I look more like my younger self.

Hot Scot

Angus MacFadyen

Yummy!

Because, you know, I watched Braveheart for the millionth billionth time the other night.

Bust a Gut

Almost literally.

Husband and I watched this movie last night; this is a flick we can watch over and over, and it never gets old:

"You're about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop!"

And...last week I actually said:

"No one makes me bleed my own blood!"

"Pepper needs new shorts!"

My Dad Would Not Be Pleased

If my dad was still among us, he would not have been happy to hear the news that the historic Cutty Sark has been damaged by fire.

I remember a model of the Cutty Sark that my dad had built and placed on "display," as it were, in our living room. I also remember my mother grumbling under her breath every time she had to dust that "pain in the ass."

Still, though. My dad would be unhappy to hear this news.

More about the Cutty Sark here.

Ha! I KNEW It!

No panty problems for Swooner Dreamboat! The firm that manufactures the "Wonderjock" has issued an apology.

It seems SD has purchased other underwear from that company, but not the ones that enhance a man's jewels.

"Given his reputation, we doubt very much there would be a need for this."

I could have told you that! The boy ain't hurtin' in the endowments!!

"...in all the wrong places..."

Behold, John Travolta from the movie poster for my all-time favorite flick Urban Cowboy.

Be quiet, I really love this movie. Excellent use of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia."

And now, in his latest roll:

And I do mean roll.

(shaking head in disbelief and horror)

Movie Review

Today I took the younglings to see Shrek the Third. Eh.

Let's see....to start, people are rude. Specifically fat tweens who charge up and walk right in front of where you're sitting and don't even bother to say "excuse me."

Little bastards.

I got more excited about the trailer for the newest Harry Potter movie. And hello? Transformers? Live action?

I also saw the trailer for Hairspray...with John Travolta in drag and a fat suit. What happened to Danny Zuko? Damn, damn, damn.

Jerry Seinfeld in a bee suit. How the mighty have fallen.

As for the actual movie we were there to see, well....eh. Honestly, I think I spent most of the time trying to get comfortable in my seat and then escorting the ungrateful brats little blessings to the restroom.

Oh sure, there were some good moments, like Snow White suddenly belting out the beginning of "Immigrant Song." (Lord, please don't let Page and Plant license their songs for anything else, though.)

But, see it and judge for yourselves. I'm actually more excited about the new Pirates movie coming out next weekend, so I'm not the best source.

Oh. My. GAWD!

Dennis Kucinich must be hung like a glass chandelier, that's all I gotta say.

Or else this wife of his has used a few too many illegal substances in her day.

What a load of shit:

“Can you imagine what it would be like to have real love in the White House and a true union between the masculine and the feminine?”

Get out your lava lamps and love beads, gang.

I'd puke right now, if I could.

Dopey Blogging

Painkillers are a good thing.

Weeeeeeee!!!!

Gazing In Horror

Last night I took the younglings up to McDonald's; they got Happy Meals, I got a chocolate shake. (I can have those now, you know, with this liquid diet and all.)

Anyhoo, as I pull up to the first window to pay and hand over the money, the chick in the window just stares at my arm with a horrified look on her face. My left arm has a big bruise on it from the IV. That poor girl must have thought I'd been shooting up or something.

It isn't that bad, really; the bruise is starting to fade.

But you know what? This is the first time I've left the hospital without a baby!

Snort Worthy

Wait....at the end you can hear the anchor woman snort:

H/T: Martinis, Persistence, and A Smile

Don't Make Me Laugh

Seriously, don't. It hurts!

So when I read that there is a possible sequel to The Birdcage in the works, I have to try to chuckle without pain.

The funniest thing was the person heading up this project.

Well Duh!

This tidbit sent to me by a friend:

The Clinton administration was the best years for the adult industry and I wish that Clinton would run again. I would love to have him back in office.

Well duh!

Pictures

The surgeon gave Husband four pictures of my insides. I joked that we should post them here.

Apparently there's a lovely shot of my liver. I guess.

I'm Home

I'm home, I'm sore, and my throat hurts from that breathing tube.

But it's over and here I am! I need a shower.

Surgery Update

Hello all! Husband here, as per Groovy's request to let everyone know that everything went well with the surgery. She should be home tomorrow and back to her blogging-self.

Thanks for your concern and prayers.

Under the Knife

Tomorrow (Tuesday), 11:30 A.M.

I gave Husband the keys to the place to post an update. Hopefully he'll remember, in addition to taping General Hospital for me.

Indoctrination

Here's one you won't hear in the MSM:

"Chicago Girl Sues Teacher for Showing 'Brokeback Mountain' to Class"

If You're Gonna Get Nasty...

...at least send the letter to the right people.

Quinn and Rose are based out of Pittsburgh and carried on XM Satellite. They are not employed by XM, but by ClearChannel, so why not send your "cease and desist" letter to the proper people?

I listen to Quinn and Rose almost every day, and I heard the story about the KS governor. It sounds legit to me.

And, by the by, I heard Quinn say this morning that if his source is shown to be tossing b.s. around, Quinn will issue a full retraction. But until then...

Q&R website here

Swooner Dreamboat Is Packin'

Thanks to something called "Wonderjocks."

I don't know, I've seen SD several times in the altogether, and he looked fine to me.

Music of the Day

This morning's choice music selection in Wal-Mart was....

Get out your lighters, now....

FREE BIRD

GroovyVic was a happy woman!

Fun and Games

So, yeah, Mothers Day. It was good, at least for this mutha'.

After church (at which I did my turn in the nursery with my one charge...who promptly started scratching and hitting as soon as his mother left), Husband and the younglings (who don't scratch, thankew) took me to Cracker Barrel for lunch.

Yum! I LOVE that hashbrown casserole!

And then we went to the mall, because we can't go anywhere without buying a book, don't you know? We also hit the video game store, where we found the game "Civil War."

Hello! Whooooo!

My only problem with this game? When one fights the Battle of Gettysburg as a Yankee, one is representing the 20th Maine!

Damn! Hello people! Are you forgetting the 83rd Pennsylvania? Strong Vincent?

(I'm a bit partial, you see, because that was the unit we portrayed. Co. K, to be exact.)

So I told Husband that if I heard someone holler "BAYONETS!" ala Chamberlain in the movie, I was going to take the damn game back. I didn't, because no one yelled.

But hell! How 'bout some props for the 83rd PA????

All in all, though, it was a very nice day for this mother.

Not So Fonda Jane

Once again, Jane Fonda disgusts me.

"Premature evacuation." Ha ha, very funny. Not.

And she's going to make wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka flicks? *bleh*

Gawd, what would her father think?

Defeating the Purpose

"Bruce Willis Irritated By Outspoken Actors"

Um, okay Bruno, but aren't you being a little outspoken as well?

And, for the record, don't we all feel that way?

Happy Mothers Day!!

Happy day to all my fellow mothers!!!

Minimum Wage

Swooner Dreamboat is returning to the London stage, but he's working for minimum wage!

Shoot, I haven't worked for minimum since my college summers in the grocery store.

Paper or plastic?

H/T to Agent Bedhead for giving me the heads up on this one.

My Favorite Mormon

Donny Osmond! Sick!

Hard Workin' Man Birthday

Happy Birthday to my favorite half of Brooks and Dunn, Kix Brooks, who turns 52 today!!

Getting Ready

I'm trying to get the house cleaned up and as much laundry done as I can before my surgery Tuesday. Who knows how I'll feel when it's over.

And with that thought in mind, I figure as long as I'm going to be on a liquid diet for the next month or so, I'm doing it up big.

Big Mac, that is.

Damn the diet, I'm going to eat what ever the hell I want to! And that includes the sweet red devil Coca-Cola!!!

Get Me A Ticket For An Aeroplane

Can't take a fast train!

Swooner Dreamboat will return to the London stage!

Spreading the Agenda

The second graders are required to read for 15 minutes every night as homework, and then write the title of the book read on their homework sheet.

Okay. No problem here; Son is a great reader and does his homework promptly.

I checked over his homework sheet last night, and laughed out loud at the book he chose to read:

Help Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!

*snort*

And in a public school! Do you think Son's teacher will doubt which direction we lean?

Oh Crap

"Study links oral sex and throat cancer"

Researchers have linked oral sex to a type of throat cancer, saying that those who engaged in the sexual act with more than six partners over the course of their lifetime were nine times more likely to develop oropharyngeal cancer.

Well hell! I guess you're damned if you do and damned if you don't!

Real Mature

I remember when, a couple of years ago, I joked on another blog that I should teach my kids to throw darts at pictures of Nancy Pelosi, Babs Boxer, and Hillary Rodham Rodham.

I also got my arse reamed by a "proud Liberal" for that remark.

So when I saw this I said to myself:

"Waterlilly, this is about the most immature display I've ever seen!"

(And, for the record, I have not taught my younglings to throw darts at anyone's picture, nor have I myself defaced, vandalized, or otherwise enhanced pictures myself. I'd like to think I'm a bit more mature than some.)

Dancin' Man Birthday

Happy Birthday to Fred Astaire, born on this day in 1899.

Ah, Fred Astaire. I love watching his movies; every year I have to watch Holiday Inn. ("You're easy to dance with!) I mean, have you seen the dance he does with the firecrackers? And he danced with a lit cigarette in his mouth!

And let's not forget he was the voice of S.D. Kluger in my all-time favorite Christmas show Santa Claus is Comin' to Town.

Fascinating

I've read the book mentioned in this article, and I really liked it. I could have done without the mentions about both Hepburn's and Spencer Tracy's, er, preferences, but for the most part I enjoyed the book.

(I mean, at this point, do we really care about who slept with whom way back when?)

But, Katharine Hepburn. I'd have to say that she's one of my favorite classic, and classy, actors. I mean, just watch Rooster Cogburn!

Random Ewan McGregor Picture Post

Ahhhhhhhhh....Swooner Dreamboat!!!

P.S. That study sounds like a lot of hooey to me!

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What's on top of the drum, giant marshmallows?!

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Gag Worthy

Wait...not just gag worthy....puke worthy!

K-Fed wants to find a fertile field to plow.

Ew. Just ew.

I mean...look at that man. Seriously.

*bleh*

Crisis Averted

It had to happen sometime, but we've only lived here for three years, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.

What?

The hot water tank shat the bed this morning. No hot water = a very pissed off GroovyVic.

But, all is well, now. The heating element has been fixed (and for just $75) and now I'm just waiting for the water to heat up.

On the plus side, I got all my cold water wash done today, but on the minus? Let's not even go there, mmkay?

Yesterday

Okay, so yesterday I went in for the pre-admission testing, which consisted of answering some questions about my health history and whatnot, and giving some blood samples. (Apparently they want to run a pregnancy test. !!! If I was in the family way there'd be a lot of 'splainin' to do!) NOT my favorite way to spend the morning, but it had to be done. But that wasn't even the really interesting part of my day.

No, that was when I went to pick up Daughter. You see, my friend (another mom whose son is in class with my son) was watching Daughter for me, but she was at the middle school preparing for Teacher Appreciation Day. So, that's where I had to go to pick up my kid. Only I stayed a lot longer than I planned.

Let me first say that the secretary for that middle school has some attitude adjusting to do. She's the definition of "cranky bitch."

Anyhoo, yeah, I ate cafeteria food (bleh) for the first time in a long time, and then stayed to help out the PTO moms. The teachers had a luncheon, and while they ate, the moms watched their classes. So, in a roundabout way, Daughter and I were recruited to help out.

And now I know why I don't utilize that teaching degree that my friend was bragging about. Now, yesterday was the first time I'd been in front of a room full of kids in about, oh I don't know, a very long time. I did help a couple kids with their English homework, but for the most part I wasn't left feeling some great urge to get my OH teaching certificate.

Daughter, on the other hand, basked in the attention she received from not only the teachers and staff, but the sixth graders as well.

A long day, an unexpected day, but I did have fun browsing the school library.

List o' Freebies

Okay, do you have a list? You know, that "list of five people?"

I've never actually sat down and made a list, but if I did it might look something like this:

1. Ewan McGregor (of course!)

2. Steve Burton (a.k.a. Jason Morgan from General Hospital)

3. Maurice Benard (a.k.a. Sonny Corinthos from the same show; those eyes!)

4. Adam Sandler

5. Jimmy Fallon

Oh shut up. You know you think about it too.

H/T: Agent Bedhead, without whom I wouldn't have found that groovy link

"The Greatest Action Story Ever Told"

A friend from church told me about this. It's pretty funny!

Gag Worthy

This tidbit makes me damn glad we sold our old house!

Sold at Auction

You know, if John Schneider's heinie warmed the seat, then the sale of The General Lee was worth every penny!

Random Ewan McGregor Picture Post

That's All I Have to Say About That

So, Paris Hilton is having her day in court and may face jail time.

Huh.

She must really think that her money is going to work wonders for her, right? I mean, how stupid can she be?

Speaking only for myself, I'd do anything I could to get my license back. But then, I wouldn't be (caught) driving drunk in the first place!

When I was in college, I got busted for underage drinking on campus. Ooooh! Yes! Vic drinks! Anyhoo, I had to go to an "alcohol education" class or I'd get kicked out of school.

Hmmmm. Tough decision!

I went, my record was expunged, and I got to stay in school. And best of all, my mother never knew a thing about it. Look, if I was going to get kicked out of school it was going to be for something a lot worse than having a few Mickey Big Mouths on hand.

So now Paris faces something a lot worse than getting kicked out of school. She could go to jail! Well, she buttered her bread, now she has to sleep in it.

That's all I have to say about that.

I Feel Like Chicken

In two weeks, my surgery will be history. And I'm starting to wonder just what the hell I've gotten myself into.

Oh sure, if I can live without this reflux and eat like a normal person again, that will be great, but this is surgery, after all.

Husband will be taking a couple days off to help me out, because we really don't know what kind of shape I'll be in.

Thank God someone cares.

But...anyhoo...I'm still starting to chicken out of this.

"Ted gets so dirtyyyyyyy!"

Just because I'm in a silly mood today, here's a song I used to sing back in the day. Why does "Ted" look eerily like Lars from Metallica? (And watch for Lemmy!!!)

Slut Bunwallah

Today is Engelbert Humperdinck's birthday. Yeah, he's 71 today.

The only reason I mention this is because Eddie Izzard did a great bit about how Engelbert got his name. It starts at around 7:00, so stick around, and then stay for Eddie's take on JFK. (And watch those f-bombs.)

Rhyme Time

Hooray! Hooray!
The first of May!
Outside screwing starts today!