Runaway Bride

Sounds like someone watched a bit too much Julia Roberts. Fourteen bridesmaids? Fourteen groomsmen? Oh, come on. Self-inflicted pain, no mercy, I always say.

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Parent lunch

I just got back a bit ago from the Kindergarten Parent Lunch. This is where the parents of their Kindergarten kids go have lunch, in the cafeteria, with their kids. I went alone, as husband stayed home with daughter. I have to say, I'm glad I went.

The food itself was, well, cafeteria food, and I'm sorry to see it hasn't changed much since I was in school. But I managed to sit with another mother who I'd talked to before, and we had a good time. My son was really excited to show me the chicks and tadpoles in his classroom, and I met a couple other parents then too.

I hate to think of those kids that didn't have parents come. That makes me feel bad, but at the same time really thankful that I can attend that stuff. Not only that, but my son was invited over to play at another kid's house this summer. Not bad!

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Television programs

So I'm sitting here, blog surfing, and a commercial comes on the Disney channel for something called the Doodlebops. Now, I just put that on so my daughter could watch Book of Pooh, for a change, and this bizarre trio appears on the telly. I called husband over to see this, and I had to crank the volume up to be heard over "You Oughta Know" by that ever bitter Alanis Morriss-blahblahblahblah uber-angry chick. Why husband was blasting this song I may never know. I hate that song. Get over it, Alanis!

There are three people all dressed up like a bad acid trip, singing, and dancing around, goofing off all "madcap" crap. I Googled this bunch, and they're from Canada! Okay, that explains it.

Now really, first it was Barney, which wouldn't be bad if it wasn't for those ever perky kids, and then Teletubbies and BooBah. I don't get it, do these television people want our kids to be retarded? Have you ever watched, for instance, the Teletubbies? I have, (I make it a rule to know what my kids are watching) and what is the deal with the fart noises all the time? Not that my kids don't hear those sounds in their own home, but come on!

And for the record, I don't think Tinky-Winky is gay. That was a dumb theory, nor do I think SpongeBob is gay, another off thought.

Like I said, I always know what my kids watch. For the most part it's usually PBSKids, Noggin, Disney channel. Sometimes Animal Planet, if Jeff Corwin is on (we have now banned Steve Irwin because he's an ass), or the classic movie channels. The worst they may see is the evening news! These days we're so busy playing Need for Speed...

Does that mean my kids will grow up to be bad drivers???

Back to my original thought, what is the deal anyway? I have noticed a shift toward getting kids off their butts and moving around, that's good, and healthy eating, even better...although I disagree with taking the cookies away from Cookie Monster. That's like making Kermit the Frog pink or something. I'm all for manners and brushing teeth, the hygiene lessons, but the presentations sometimes lead me to scratch my head. Barney is basically a good show, just too damn perky for me, and I CANNOT stand that Jay-Jay the Jet Plane. The first time my son saw that show he screamed in horror. Really.

Where is the Electric Company? Remember that show? Morgan Freeman was the Easy Reader. I loved that show. And yeah, Mr. Rogers is an excellent program. I cried when he died.

I have no life if all I have to bitch about are kid shows.

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Another blog

I stumbled across Rosie O'Donnell's blog last night. Aside from the fact that she rambled incoherently, one thing caught my eye, and that was her seeming scorn for Bush's meeting with that Saudi prince. She had a link to a picture of them holding hands. I looked at it, and to me it looked like Bush was holding the man up.

In another entry to referred to Bush as "Mr. Gays Suck." Well, the men do, right???? (And lesbians lick, right Ro?) Anyhoo, I don't recall President Bush saying "Hey look, gays suck!" Oh Rosie, Rosie, Rosie.

Yeah, first amendment blah blah blah blah blah....but this person is THE "Angry Lesbian."

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Interesting

Interesting, don't you think, that since the story of the five year old girl that was handcuffed in FL, there were at least half a dozen stories of similar events in the area where I live. I was a bit surprised, I mean, is it copycat stuff or are there some real problems around here?

Parents at one school were interviewed and what most of them said was that the teachers can't discipline the students the way they used to. That, I have to say, is the damn truth. When I was in school, corporal punishment was still the norm and accepted. By the time I got into student teaching, paddles were considered non-p.c.

The whole discipline thing is why neither my husband or I want to teach. Well, that and the fact that in order to get a teaching job one has to practically give head to whomever will get you farthest. And I'm not fond of giving blow jobs!

Anyway, I've heard stories from other teachers who have had students come right out and say "So what, you can't touch me." Damn defiant brats.

I don't know as I'd be so thrilled if one of my kids was handcuffed...I do think that teachers should be shown how to restrain kids though. What if that little girl in FL had really hurt someone? Wasn't she considered a danger to herself and others? One of the kids in this area actually ran out of the school and into traffic before the cops could catch him and cuff him. Two girls beat the piss out of there own brother on the bus!

I ask you, just how p.c. are we going to get? I am NOT going to start in on any speculation about stay-at-home parents vs. working parents. What I will say is that somewhere in this whole mystery of parenthood, we MUST take responsibility for our kids' behavior. I firmly believe that we are the ones who need to take our own children in hand and teach them right from wrong, civility, and tolerance. Yes, tolerance, be it for a person of color or homosexuality or any kind of difference.

Now, as to the homosexuality thing, I have known two gay men thus far in my life. I considered one to be a good friend, and he did great things with my hair. I told him "I don't want to know what you do in your bedroom anymore than you want to know what I do in mine." He agreed, and we agreed that we both LOVE men. But, okay, I'm conservative. But this guy was a human first, gay second, at least in my eyes. I know homosexuality is morally wrong, but this guy was a good person, gay second. See where my confusion lies? I say confusion for lack of a better word at this moment.

I don't approve of the way "gay marriage" has been shoved down our throats. As to the marriage amendment, I think that in the area I live in, at least, that was not the thing most voters were worried about.

Does this make me a homophobic bigot? Well, I read another blog yesterday (by a conservative in Berkley CA...go figure) and I agreed with what that person had to say, and that person was called a homophobic bigot. So does that make me one?

Do I let me kids watch "Queer Eye?" No. I don't want my kids to think that being gay is some great thing and oh let's try it. I don't have a problem with homosexuals!

But I guess I'm now a hypocritical, homophobic, ignorant bigot. Right?

Dammit, I'm a mother first, though.

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I LOVE MY SUV!!!

I don't really give a crap about what you say, or what you drive, or, dare I say it, what Jesus would drive...I LOVE MY SUV!!

My husband, who so nicely just changed my oil, backed it out of the way and it is right now where I can see it. I can sit on my couch, look out the picture window, and gaze adoringly on my big, red, Chevy Tahoe. I love that damn thing; it's the first vehicle that's ALL MINE, and it's paid for.

And it isn't one of those rounded, turd-looking newer Chevys either. All nice and squared off. Ahhh, my red right-wing truck.

So what if the price of gas prohibits actually driving it? It's MINE goddammit! All you environmental greenie weinies can kiss my big, white, overly dimpled bum!

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You must check this out...

I came across this site the other day: gofugyourself.com.

Really, people, you must check this out. It's just, well, hilarious. It's bitchy, it's truthful, it's NOT some suck up ass kissing stuff.

Check it out for the Britney Spears rips alone. Tell your friends about this!

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Hectic morning

Today started out slightly more hectic than usual. I realize it could be a lot worse, but for me it was pretty chaotic. I woke up later than normal because my husband has the day off. Usually I get up shortly after he leaves for work, but when he's home I tend to ignore my alarm and sleep. So, after getting up and starting the coffee I sat down to my morning ritual of checking my email, browsing the Fox News website, mainly surfing the Internet without interruptions. Apparently, someone else had other plans, because no sooner did I sit down but my son got up at twenty minutes to seven complaining that he felt uncomfortable and needed to have a BM. (Actually, he said "I gotta go poop" but I thought I'd be a bit more mature here.) I told him to go to it.

Let me give a bit of backstory here: about two years ago, right around the birth of my daughter, my son held in his BM's for TWO WEEKS! Amazing muscle control, no? Even after two doses of childrens laxative and a glycerin suppository, that child still held it in. Well, to ease everyone's mind (and bottoms) he finally let it go around 4 in the morning. Not to be gross, but what he produced was roughly the size of my two fists. Ouch! So, when he has to go #2 I don't stop him (not that I ever did in the first place) and he gets encouragement and praise, the whole bit. To be fair, two years ago not only did he get a new sister, but he'd started preschool, and there were just too many changes in his young life.

Anyway, my son finally eliminated and curled up with me on the couch complaining of a headache. So, okay, dose him with Motrin and by this time it's 7:00 and my daughter is awake. Go into her room and she has had a major BM (good morning!!!). Get that cleaned up, diaper her butt back up, and proceed to get breakfast going. My husband was not around for all this, he was waking up, doing his own morning ablutions, so forth.

And so commences the fight to feed the children. My son gets his standard yougurt, juice, vitamin, while I heat water for his dinosaur oatmeal. My husband stumbles out of the bedroom and does his juice thing. I coax daughter into the high chair for her banana, which she promptly holds up to her ear like a phone. Evey day, folks.

Husband gives daughter the rest of the banana (after she shoves the first bit entirely into her mouth) and she goes into her art routine. Squeeze, smash, her highchair tray is covered in squished banana. Ugh. Try then to feed her some Cream of Wheat, which she eats a bit of and then starts to gag. Okay, "moisten" with more milk, look over my shoulder and holler at son to eat that damn oatmeal and quit farting around. He then has to blow his nose, which he really just wipes away at his nose, as if that will do any good.

Finish feeding daughter, give her her medicine and vitamins, clean her up, scoop up smashed banana, set her off to wreck havoc. Holler at son a few more time, threatening a thrashing if that damn oatmeal isn't eaten. Okay, he finally gets that ingested, "FINISH THE DAMN ORANGE JUICE OR YOU'LL MISS THE DAMN BUS AND I'M NOT TAKING YOU TO SCHOOL!" He finishes said juice, takes his cold medicine, and then starts to dress. Now, this is a damn procedure, as he has to take off his jammies and underpants and parade around nude for a bit. He shakes his butt at me and the gets his clothes on. Ten minutes later (I'm not kidding) he has to make his bed, and still doesn't listen to me when I say "tug that sheet and blanket down, smooth it a bit!" We come away with a half lumpy, half smoothed out bed. Okay, he gets 10 cents for making his bed, and he wants pennies today, not a dime or two nickels, not a nickel and five pennies, ten pennies. Ugh, count those bastards out, he puts them in his jar, I mark the day on my calendar, now brush teeth. Okay, get his toothbrush and toothpaste ready, get him brushing, go get his lunch box out of the fridge and get my shoes and coat on to take him to the end of the driveway to wait for the bus. (Somewhere in there I managed to put on my sweat pants in favor of my pajama bottoms.) Now! Shoes! Coat! Backpack!

Where, you ask, was husband? Watching all this and entertaining our daughter. While son was getting shoes on, she comes out to put on his gloves and hat. She loves doing this. As we prepare to leave, my husband picks up daughter and she starts to howl because normally she goes with us, so that was something I was glad to walk out on.

Get to the end of the driveway justintime to wait for the bus, whereupon son has to blow his nose. He does that wipe wipe thing, so get disgusted, grab another tissue out of the glove compartment, and tell him to BLOW. So, fine, after this I'm the one with snot on my hands, and there's the bus! Get him out of the truck, walk him to the bus door (we have to do this, school bus rules) and then I wave like a loon at him while the bus pulls away.

Whew! Every morning, folks, every morning.

Now, here I am, having finished my coffee (which wasn't the bottom of the pot scorched crap I usually have to drink) and my daughter is watching Clifford. Husband is doing something on his computer. I need a shower and there's that load of clothes in the dryer. I should vacuum today, and I'll need to find something presentable to wear to lunch at school with my son tomorrow. Oh yeah, I should go pluck myself (eyebrows). Can't go in all Wookie.

Ugh, I'm tired already!

DAMN!

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Good news

Well, the job situation with my husband isn't as bleak as we thought it would be. Eleventh hour finagling, as it were, which we are both happy about. Although I was looking forward to having my husband around the house a bit more, I'm grateful someone pulled this out of their behind.

I realized that my initial intent with this blog seems to have fallen a bit by the wayside. I wanted to talk about more than just the asinine current events (and they are asinine, admit it), talking a bit about my kids. Despite what I may have said before, they are great kids and I love them enormously.

My daughter, the little monkey, is at this moment enthralled by the Teletubbies. Can anyone tell my why flatulence noises are so entertaining? Anyway, she's my doll-baby, taking a few moments to walk up and said "HI!" and smile her four tooth smile. She gives me "five" with her sweaty, sticky little hand and to see her one would think this is the greatest thing she's ever done.

My four tooth-ed wonder. I don't know why she's suffering a lack of teeth, it doesn't stop her from devouring everything in arm's reach.

And she's a monkey, climbing anything she can, including the baby gate I used to put in my son's bedroom doorway. She figured that out, so we had to take it down for safety reasons. Now I can't keep her out of her big brother's room.

Hey, going now. Things are looking a hell of a lot better than they were last night!

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Prices

Thank you petroleum industry, now the price of diapers is going up! I guess it figures out to be about 3 cents a diaper. All the big brands, including the brand we use. If ever there was an incentive to potty train!

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Flash memories

Ever had some memory just pop into your head? That happened to me this morning. For what ever reason I was reminded of "Senior Walk" in college. This was when all the graduating seniors started at one end of town and hit every bar until they got to the other end of town. It was a small town to begin with, only maybe four bars or so, but by the time we were done it was more like senior crawl.

Anyway, I was reminded of this guy who hit on me. He was a former fraternity brother of a guy I'd gone out with (okay, was engaged to) and had quit the fraternity. So, I'm talking to this brother and explaining to him that I was not the cause of ex-boyfriend quitting the fraternity. I can't remember if the "brother" had pledged with him or what, but this guy was all like "Well, of course we thought that, but it wasn't a big deal. What are you doing after this?" In my drunken state I just sort of looked at him, and then he was all like "Come back to my place." Dumbass me, I told him "I'm seeing someone! I'm faithful!" Dumbass me. I should have gone back to that guy's place for a one-nighter.

Why am I going into this? Mainly because I was a stupid dope who was faithful to a guy who was so confused he didn't know whether to "scratch his watch or wind his butt." Had I known then how things would turn out with that guy I was so faithful to, well, let's just say I wouldn't have been so damn loyal. He wasn't.

As for that fraternity guy, I don't remember his name, and I seriously doubt if I ever cross his mind. Gawd, thirteen years later!

I shouldn't have been so damn serious about that guy I was seeing. But, I was young and "in love," and thought this was it. The guy, he's married now with two kids, and a damn liberal. I email him every once in a while (we got into a big fight after the election) and I wonder just why I was so ga-ga over him in the first place. Political affiliation aside, we had nothing in common. Although, thirteen years ago I was liberal, and young AND stupid AND I drank heavily. Well, it was college after all, hotbed of liberalism. Must have been all the SEX!

Regrets? Don't have 'em, I just look at that crap as a learning experience. I'm not bitter, hell no, bitter about a lost one-night stand? Oh, no. Somehow, even back then, sex in a frat house wasn't that attractive to me. Ever been in one? Woof.

But I digress. Being home all the time I have a lot of opportunities to thumb through memories and rehash things. If I could go back knowing what I know now things would be different. (Think "Peggy Sue Got Married.") But I like how things have turned out. I'm happy where I'm at and I wouldn't change my life for anything.

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All wound up

Maggie Gyllenhaal is in "hot water" over comments she made about the 9/11 attacks. She's in a movie about living in NY after the attacks, and she's insinuated that the US is responsible in some way for the attacks. At least that's the impression I got from reading the blurb on the Fox News site.

First of all, making a movie about 9/11 is, to me at least, in the very worst taste and utterly disrespectful to all of the people who's lives were affected that day. Yes it happened and it was awful. But do we need to reopen those wounds over and over? Bad enough that uber-liar Michael Moore speculated on it, then that Native American wannabe Churchill, now this?

Okay, okay, you libs, First Amendment and all that yakkity yak. (Blowing you all a big raspberry) Some things are just too sensitive to keep rehashing! I still cry whenever I see a brief clip from that day. Who doesn't? Yeah, I'm still angry about it, who isn't, but I don't hold the US responsible. Face it, had that fence post Gore been the one in office at that time, we as a country probably would have taken that passive role and tried to reason with bin Laden. Uh-huh, like that man would really sit down and reason with anyone.

And as for it affecting lives, don't you think for one minute that my little family's lives weren't touched in a way too. That's all I'll say about that.

But, back to what I started with, I knew I didn't like that Maggie what-ever-her-name-is.

So, one of the Dixie Chunks, uh Chicks, had twins? And according to Fox they're still considered a country act. Okay, anyone see what Larry the Cable Guy had to say about those girls? Well, you should, because the man hit it on the head. "We'll put a BOOT IN YOUR ASS....." Yeah, I do like Toby Keith.

Pamela Anderson wants us to boycott KFC. Oh puh-leeeze! MOVING ON! How about boycotting boobie implants Pammie? How about boycotting making videos of yourself and the man of the hour gettin' busy??? How about just boycotting speaking?

Hmmmmm, well, that's it. I'm all wound up early this morning, aren't I? There isn't much going on here "at the ranch."

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Marriage n' Stuff

This guy I know who lives over in London just got back from his honeymoon. I know this because he emailed me yesterday to tell me that. Apparently he got married the same day Charles and Camilla did. How do I know this? While I was watching that parade of hats I emailed this guy and asked if he was caught up in all that hubbub. I guess he wasn't, he was off in Germany or whatever castle in whatever European country getting married.

Well, good luck to him. Misery loves company, so welcome to the club! Just kidding.

I just got done reading Mike Straka on the Fox News site. Once again he hit it right on the head. He's "grrrr-ing" about Paris Hilton. Really, why the hell have we put that little whooooore up on a pedestal? She goes to parties for a living, for crying out loud, and all that ever comes out of her mouth is "that's hot." Oh, you scholar, you. She's way too skinny...ugh.

I was reading in "US" magazine yesterday (yes, I get that mag, so what? I'm not perfect) and at what ever party that magazine held Paris Hilton and Kim Stewart were saying "Ewwww" when they walked past Hilary Duff. Now, first of all, I don't care, but secondly, how sixth grade is this behavior? What's next, cooties?

I can't understand WHY this person is so highly regarded. She made a PORNO for Pete's sake, and let's face it, there can't have been much there to jiggle. Oh yes, I've seen porn, quite a bit.

One of Jacko's attorneys was fired. Oh boo frikkin' hoo. MOVING ON!

I'm ashamed to say that I haven't been paying much attention to national and world events, with the possible exception of knowing that those two toddlers in GA were found...dead. What sick bastard did that?

And on the local side, a registered sex offender had to move because he was living too close to an elementary school. Sick bastard!

Bastards! I do not understand the sick mind, I guess. People like this are making life for us regular parents rather stressful. Kids can't go to the restroom alone, for fear of possible molestation. I'm afraid to let my kids wait for the bus alone (when they're much older, of course) because who knows what could happen.

I hate this. I hate what this country is becoming. Paris Hilton is practically a damn role model for young girls, sick assholes are molesting and killing children. Michael Jackson is somehow allowed to be believed "not guilty" by gullible masses. Face it, people, he's a damn freak!

And somehow, I still hear the Left bitching and griping about the moral platform Bush ran on. Uh huh, okay.

Oh yeah, I heard Rush talking yesterday about what a "diva" Katie Couric has become. She's nasty to co-workers! Oooooooooohhhh noooooooooo. She's another damn Leftie anyway, who cares.

Rush raised another very good point, that being the next Democratic candidate for President. That person better hope they never yelled at anybody, or that will be brought up in the campaign, ala John Bolton. True, so true. Especially if that dreaded bitch Clinton gets the nomination. We all know she's blown her fuse a few times, huh? But, hey, fair is fair, right?

And now I see on the local news that I can't by Sudafed at Wal-Mart because some assholes are abusing it for what ever stupid ass reason. I have legitimate sinus problems, and now I'll be treated like a damn junkie.

I hate people. Everyone sucks ass.

I'm going back to bed.

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The Weekend Wrap-up

So, it is Sunday evening, and I'm half watching my husband play Need for Speed. I know he knows I wanted to watch the last "Surreal Life" and "Strange Love Reunion" tonight, but oh well, I'm sure I can catch those again during the week.

Anyway, let's sum up the weekend. On Friday two of my nieces spent the night. My husband's sister and her husband were going away for the night, and had asked if we'd babysit. I had no problem with this, those girls are very well behaved AND I like their parents. (That makes a difference!) So, my husband gets home with the girls and I have to run out to the store. My daughter is on antibiotics again; she can't be sick when she gets those tubes. I hustled out to get the scrip, and while I was at Kroger I picked up some pizzas and popcorn. Well! Who did I run into at checkout? The Pastor's wife! For a split second I wondered "Do I just blow this off or say hello?" I said hello and what not, all the while thinking what a schmuck I am. We have become what I call "fair weather Christians," in that lately we've only been hitting church on those major holidays. I don't like doing that, but when the kids are sick, my husband is out of town, so on and so on... I'll have to talk about church later.

SO! I race back home to get the pizzas going, the kids are playing. The girls are ages 7 and 4, so my son, who is 5 1/2 had a blast. They had a slumber party of sorts in the living room that night, and my 19 month old daughter was just so wanting to be with the big kids that she crawled over the gate to get to them. We've since had to take said gate down. And she tried crawling out of her crib. Little stinker.

Saturday morning came very early, but we got up and fed all four kids. It wasn't bad, I didn't mind watching the girls, but I think they got bored. It was raining and I think we were all tired out. My son fell asleep in the middle of the living room when my sister- and brother-in-law came to get their kids. I was wiped out, we all were. Hopefully when summer gets here the girls can come out and play outside. I told them we could really camp out (we have two tents, why not?).

Today I colored my hair. "Red Penny." I'm not so sure I like it. It's been 9 years since I've had red hair; I went back to my natural color after I had my son. So this is a bit of a shock. My husband likes it, but I don't know. I had been getting "Light Reddish Brown" and liking it. I don't want to go too light or too dark. But I will admit, buying the hair color at Wal-Mart is so much cheaper, and I can afford to play around with the color now. I don't know, maybe auburn...

That's it, really boring huh? I got my son's lunch packed and his clothes laid out for school tomorrow. I get my hair cut too. Really exciting stuff here, don't you think?

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, and it is SNOWING. Yuck. My gosh, a few days ago we were running around in shorts...but my husband has poison ivy on his hands, feet, and legs. My throat is sore. Damn weather.

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Observations, pt. II

I don't know about anyone else out there, but the more I hear and see of this so-called family/sibling/"closeness" stuff, I have to say it is all a bunch of crap. Did you hear that? CRAP. It makes me grateful my mother only had me and my sister. I'm not going into details, but what it boils down to is one can spout off about how close their family is, but as soon as someone dies, BOOM!!! GREEDGREEDGREEDGREED. The things I've been hearing over the past year are just sickening. Like I said, I'm not naming names or anything, but this one particular person, well, she is just a F****** C***. And I never say that, believe me.

Yes, I'm angry, because now this is impacting my family. Let me say that my "family" growing up was basically my mom, my sister, and me, and that was it for a long time. I love my sister's husband, he's like the big brother I never had, but really, I, at least, can't get into the whole large family dynamic. Frankly, the more I see, it makes me sick.

And just to clarify, if any of my in-laws are reading this, I'm not referring to you guys. Really.

MOVING ON...

So, some guy spat tobacco juice on Hanoi Jane. Good! He's a hero!

The Catholic church has a new pope. And he's a conservative pope. Good! I'm not Catholic, but he's my hero. And he's a German! Good! I'm German!

Paris and Nicole aren't friends anymore. Boo. Hoo. Awwww....what happened? Who cares? Paris Hilton? Uck.

Another little girl was abducted and murdered. That is sickening. It's a damn shame that another life has been lost because of some sick bastard.

Michael Jackson? Another sick bastard. I cannot listen to any of his songs, even Jackson 5 songs. Sexual innuendo abounds. Eeeeewwwwwww! Vaseline....blech. (Shudder, heave, gag)

John Negroponte got confirmed. Good, now let's get to work confirming John Bolton. Frankly, there are some folks in the UN who need to be yelled at. But I wonder, why bother, the UN is nothing but weiners anyway. I mean, just who in the hell do the Democrats want anyway? MICHAEL BOLTON????? Crappity crap.

I sent a nasty gram to Voinovich. Stupid ninny.

Today is Earth Day. MOVING ON!

As if anyone cares, today I've got stuff to do around the house today. That highchair is calling out to be cleaned. My daughter likes to smash bananas...use your imagination. Blah blah blah.

It's almost May! My son has one month of school left! My goodness the school year went fast.

I've probably said too much, so I'm going to retreat with my coffee for a while.

UPDATE: Just after I posted this I heard on the local news that a Kindergarten boy was sexually molested by another Kindergarten boy! KINDERGARTEN!!! It's not in my son's school, it happened in another county, but still. I'm really sick to my stomach now. OH MY GOD people!

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A little about me

Did you know that I used to be a Civil War reenactor? And not a very good one, I can tell you.

Let me clear up any misconceptions, first of all, of what reenacting actually is, at least as far as us CW people are concerned. We try to be as accurate as possible. We have this passion, intense interest, in things military, historic, perhaps we 've been a bit romanticized by "Gone With the Wind," who knows, but we love this period in history and want to be as close to the truth as we can get. We aren't called "living historians" for nothing.

With that, we go out camping. Yes, we sleep in those tents, we cook (or others do, I never did) over real fires, some women take their actual babies and children out, and yes, those guys do get hot in the wool uniforms. Stinky hot. We women are wearing corsets, although not to the extremes ladies in the 19th century did. Did you know that we ladies wear split crotch drawers? (That's underpants for you 21st century folks.) Yes, for a weekend I would put aside my nice, cotton Jockey panties for long legged culottes that looked like something out of Frederick's of Hollywood, circa 186o. Believe me they were necessary. With those long skirts and petticoats, how else would one use the lavatory? In most cases, a porta-john, disgusting in any circumstance, but after a long line of men, and it's been baking in the sun all day....ugh, an aspect I don't miss.

Anyway, yeah, that's what my husband and I used to do on summer weekends before we had kids. It can be fun, and one can meet some pretty nice people. I met Brian Pohanka, a historian seen on the History Channel. Ah, I had a crush on that one, and even got my picture taken with him. He had said to me, he said, that his unit would be at the Antietam reenactment, and I should look him up there. I giggled and said "Oh, yeah, I'd love to, but that's the weekend of my bridal shower." Which it was, and he looks at me like I was crazy or something. What? Like I was supposed to look him up to check out his tent or something? Ugh, I'm not an attractive reenactor (no makeup, hair pulled back, it's not pretty), and what, was I supposed to show him my drawers? I had a crush on him, I didn't want to bang him!

I have to say that when I met him I was looking quite fetching, with my hoop skirt and pretty hat, and my favorite day dress. But this was an event for the dedication of the Strong Vincent statue, so I was prettied up. (Yes, Strong Vincent, of Little Round Top fame, I don't care what others tout about the damn 20th Maine!)

I actually met my husband reenacting. We even got engaged in Gettysburg, as "regular people" not as reenactors. But that's where he put the ring on my finger. Yep, right in front of the cemetary. Things that make you go hmmmmm...

No, neither of us was in the movie "Gettysburg" but we were both in "Gods and Generals." I got cut from the home release however. My husband met Stephen Lang (Stonewall Jackson; he was also Pickett in G'burg.) I've seen the dude who played Hood in G'burg. My mother swears that when we were in Gettysburg in 1996 she saw Janet Reno. Hmmm....was the giantess looking to burn something down ala Waco???

When we were in Gettysburg in 1998 there was some NASCAR driver watching. I can't remember which one though...

You know, when my husband and I were at the aforementioned event in '98 we met a couple of guys from Texas. They had that accent, and looked so real. I told them they should be proud of their impression, that they looked like they'd stepped out of a history book. So many people just are so farby.

Why am I going on about this? It's spring, and I miss reenacting sometimes, especially when the weather is all nice and warm. I don't know if we'll ever get back into it, but goodness knows we have all that stuff stored up. I have dresses like you wouldn't believe. No, I'm not Scarlett O'Hara; I hate when people walk up and talk to me with some honey drip, cornpone-y, fake Southern accent. I don't get all dopey when I put my hoops on. I'm a Yankee for crying out loud! Not an abolitionist per se, but a Republican still. I have to act like Lincoln and Lee and all those big names are still alive.

Ha ha...someone once came up to my husband and started talking about going to Jackson's grave. I looked up, all shocked, and said "Stonewall Jackson is dead???" Got to keep that first person impression going.

What do I do? Nothing. Sit. Sleep. I don't sew (at least not very well) and I don't cook (not over open flame anyway). I would go shopping on sutler row. And I'd take care of my husband when he came back from battle. You know, strips of cloth soaked in cool water for him to put on the back of his neck, swab off with, that kind of stuff. Stinky man!

That's it. My hobby, or at least it used to be. I think my husband and I are burnt out on the Civil War right now. It's not the priority it used to be! Someday, maybe, but who knows.

*****Head's Up!!!***** "I don't get all dopey when I put my hoops on" does NOT mean to imply that I think Southern women are dopey. I realize, reading over that paragraph, that it may sound that way, but I don't. You see, when people would see me in full regalia they would immediately assume I was Scarlett, and most of the time mine was a Yankee impression. I don't do a Southern accent, I don't even try because I sound stupid, and I think that's disrespectful to Southerners. Everyone is so brainwashed into thinking that hoops = moonlight and magnolias...really people, the Civil War was NOT about Scarlett and Rhett.

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New topics

So, Skippy and I have moved on to new topics of discussion, having settled matters that happened years ago. I had been wanting to ask him about something, and I finally did (ah, how email gives one courage to ask the asinine) and he gave me a nice, honest answer. At least I hope it was honest, but Skippy, if you're reading this, thank you.

Moving on...

I'm not going to say what Skippy and I are talking about now, as it would probably piss off all those Civil Liberties people, and I'm just too fed up with the mundane in my life to listen to a bunch of whining hippies and hippie wannabes.

I am officially losing my patience and my mind. Once again my kids are snot nosed, and every time my daughter gets a snot nose she gets an ear infection. She has to get those tubes in two weeks, and I can't have her getting all sick again. So, I call the pediatrician and get the standard run-down of PediaCare and fluids. Well, DUH!! Like I haven't already been doing that? Cripes, that doc knows that every cold settles in my daughter's ears and he's just telling me to push fluids.

I haven't posted in a couple days because I've been in hormone hell. Thanks to my lousy diet and major caffeine (is that spelled right?) intake, my "cousin" was especially nasty this time around. I just about walked out on Sunday, really. My husband spent part of the day working on the computer and the other half outside, which left me to deal with the kids. My son wouldn't go outside alone, or if he did go out he wasn't out for long, and my daughter, well, she's a monkey, climbing the bar stools, falling off the dining room chairs and the aforementioned bar stools. I lost my patience in a big way. I got tired of entertaining! Tired of the mess and constant picking up.

I know, such is my lot in life as a stay-at-home mom, but for Pete's sake, don't I get a break? I can't go anywhere alone - you moms know what I mean - I haven't peed alone in almost 6 years! And now that my daughter is snotty again, everything is her Kleenex. The couch, my bed, my shirts...

And then my husband is in one of his "thoughtful" moods, where everything and nothing is bugging him. At the forefront is health insurance, and all I'm going to say is I knew this was going to happen and this is exactly why I wasn't keen on what he wanted to do. I shan't say more about it, as it would just reveal to the unwashed masses what my husband does and I'm not allowed to say what that is.

Okay, he's a pimp.

KIDDING!!!

Why in the hell was I so anxious to be an "adult"? What is so great about constant worry? My acid reflux is coming back, I can feel the smoldering in my chest daily. Hello Zantac! How is my old friend? And this weekend I shall be hauling out the L'Oreal hair color to cover these gray hairs I've had since I was 22. This time I'm doing it, I'm going back to red. I haven't had red hair since before I got married, so this should be fun, although I probably won't keep it, I've found I get less attention as a brunette.

I need more coffee, and I have nothing else of note to say.

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My Date

Today I had a "date" with my son. He's been pestering me to go to the library, so I said "We'll go Saturday and make a day of it, jus the two of us." He liked that idea, and was really excited. He got worried this morning when my husband got up before I did; I guess my son thought I was going to sleep all day long or something.

Anyway, we got going, went to the library where my son promptly headed to the dinosaur books and I checked out the beginning reader books. The rule is two dino books, but he has to get at least one story book. I got a few books that he might like to read, and then some nice story books for him and my daughter. He then puttered around with the toys that the libary has while I browsed the parenting and homeschooling books. I'm not going to homeschool, at least I don't think so, unless these public schools get too liberal.

My son tried to help me find a book, but I had not luck finding the ones I wanted. That damn libary, they had that asinine Bill Clinton book o'lies, but no copies of Donny Osmond's autobiograpy. Yeah, Donny Osmond, so what? I may not agree with his religion, but he's a nice enough guy.

We went to KMart; got two pairs of SpongeBob Jammies for the boy, a little outfit for my daughther, diapers, mother's day cards...crap...

My son and I had a lovely lunch at Burger King. We sat in the sunny, very warm, part and giggled at the rude noises the soft drink dispenser was making. Really, fart fart toot toot.

Next came groceries, always hated, ever loathed. I only spent $67! I did, however, get a little goofy over a box of granola bars with Han Solo on it. And the Corn Pops with a light saber spoon! Oooooo...

Why, all of a sudden, am I freaking out over Star Wars? I never watched those movies in the 70's and 80's...I'm not all that fond of Natalie Portman (because of her damn political views..."John Kerry is my heart throb..." vomit, puke, gag, vomit more), and I'm definitely NOT a sci-fi fan. The closest I get to that is one of my favorite flicks..."Armageddon," which I love in spite of it having Ben Asslick in it. Gotta love that Bruce Willis!

Anyway, we're home NOW, and my son is watching "Empire Strikes Back." Luke is with Yoda at this point....

Oh, I don't know, I think I'm interested in Star Wars because of the whole story, the whole series thing, does that make sense?

I need a nap, all that shopping tired me out!!!

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Poopy morning

I realized last night that due to my daughter's impending ear procedure, it would probably be prudent to find some, or at least one, shirt that doesn't have to go over her head. Okay, so this morning I sit down with my laptop and a huge cup of coffee at 5:45 A.M. and start looking. I started on ebay, and for crap's sake, like I have time to wade through 265 pages of "2T-4T shirts." Sheesh. The JCPenney website was useless, as usual, and the BabyGap site was just too damn expensive. Hello? These clothes are for CHILDREN, chances are they won't even get worn all that much.

So, I have this coupon thingahootch for Penney's, perhaps when I'm out tomorrow I'll stop in and see if the selection in the store is any better than online.

"Don't say it's a fine morning or I'll shoot ya'!" - John Wayne, "McClintock"

Poopy morning, indeed. And yeah, I know I shouldn't generalize all Democrats and loathe them all, but some times I get in these moods, see? And I spout off, see? Yeah... I shouldn't do that, because even though I'm a conservative Republican, I am not the stupid, religiously zealous, backwoods moron that the Left makes us out to be. But I won't go into that here, someone's sensibilities will get offended, and I may look quite un-p.c.

I'm hungry, and this is quickly becoming gibberish, so I'll leave off for now.

Anyone see GW throw out that pitch last night? What a man!

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Ears

Before I begin, I'd better warn you that you'll be hearing about this a lot up until the procedure is done. So either get used to it or just back off NOW.

I'm freaking out. I am so scared and I'm not the one having this thing done. My baby! Knocked out, without me. Everyone who's had it done or who has a kid that's had ear tubes put in says "It's no big deal. It's so common anymore! Relax!" Easier said than done, partner, these people are not ME, biggest worrier in America.

When the doc pulled out his surgery scheduler thingahootchie yesterday, I was just stunned. We'd been whisked from exam room to audiologist's inner sanctum so fast, and then the doc just says "How about this day? It's the first free day." All the while, my daughter is quietly and happily poking about a new area for exploration.

Oh my God. Then I read the packet from the surgery center (and will probably read it a few thousand times more in the interim) and just about fainted. They say to bring a toy or "lovie" for the child, so I think "Okay, her blanket." They say to put the child in jammies from home. "Okay, those pink summery ones or a footie sleeper?" I'm sweating, as if I'm the one getting this done.

Now, understand, 17 years ago this was me, only I was getting my wisdom teeth out. I was 18 for Pete's sake, but I was still scared to death. Imagine this: waiting in the "pre-op" area with various other cases, including an elderly lady who accidentally cut half her finger off when she got it caught in her screen door. Ugh, I was ready to bolt then, but I just stayed in that little Clorox smelling bed and cried. Oh yeah, and I couldn't see because who ever had taken my glasses, and I'm literally blind without them. ("How could you see the finger lady?" Good hearing, my friends, radar-like reception.)

So now it's my 19 month old daughter. A baby! MY BABY!! I really hope my husband can be there with us that day; he's my "calming influence," and he has nice shoulders to cry on. And I probably will be bawling like a fool, full of guilt and what not. I don't know why I feel guilty even now, I didn't put the viruses in her ears.

Irrational, I know, but try to put up with this. I went to sleep and woke up several times with visions of her playing with her ears and ripping the damn tubes out. I got online and ordered some swanky ear plugs and something called a "Band-It" that goes around her head, over her ears, sort of an ear plug reinforcer. Yeah, the doc said he doesn't usually tell parents to use plugs for bathing, but he's never seen my kid bathe.

On a completely unrelated note, I had the weirdest dream! It was "Gone with the Wind Redux," a movie with the classic Gable/Leigh/De Havilland intercut with the always sucky miniseries sequel. P-U! I'm a GWTW purist, a sequel never should have been written or even considered. That's the beauty part of that book and the movie! It's up to us, the reader and viewer, to think up what happens next. Alexandra Ripley writes really good stuff of her own, but to take Scarlett O'Hara and give her sexual yearnings? Uh, no thanks, I like the way Margaret Mitchell handled that stuff.

Anyway, I feel a bit better having expressed those ear fears. I'm still going to freak from now until then, everytime I look at my calendar. These things are NOT supposed to happen to me! My beautiful pink cheeked, blonde haired, blue eyed baby girl. Honestly, she looks like a beautiful chubby baby doll. These things are NOT supposed to happen to a baby! Yes, I know, better now than when she's older, and better for her overall hearing, but STILL, throw me a frikkin' bone.

Ha ha ha...I'll bet there will be people I know reading this who'll think "Good, that spoiled brat needs to have something like this thrown into her lap." Me being the spoiled brat. Well, to all those people I say this: just picture me shooting you all the bird...and PISS OFF.

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Observations

I was just fooling around, browsing some other blogs out there, when I happened across one that caught my attention. This guy said exactly what I think, and I like knowing there is someone out there who thinks like I do, at least on certain issues. This guy went off about the FCC, for one thing, and basically said that parents should be the ones who control what's on TV in their homes. I couldn't agree more! True, my kids watch too much TV, but when they do watch it's always kid shows or Animal Planet. About the worst thing they may see these days is the evening news (liberal mainstream media!!).

I've always made a point of knowing what my kids watch and listen to. I started listening to country because 1) I like it, and 2) I don't worry about my kids hearing those lyrics. Come on, I mean, the stuff on Top 40 is crappy crappity crap!

(FYI Madonna - Shutyerpiehole and fade away, ya old whooooore. I just had to say that, because she is an old whoooooore. Dressing like a nun, as if!!! First she has kids, and now Britney Spears is spawning. I weep for my future...)

There.

Coming soon....why I love G.W. Bush!!!

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Class reunions

I helped plan my last class reunion with, among other, my friend Elvis. (Elvis is not this guy's real name, but I'm not going to use real names, duh...) Anyway, Elvis, a few others, and I had to scramble to get something together; we had something like a month and a half to do this in. Elvis was the RSVP person, only because I had written, typed, folded and mailed the invitations. Anyway, Elvis gets varied responses from former classmates, but ONE was just hysterical.

I'll call this guy Mr. Snitty, and his RSVP was a doozy. He wrote a brief paragraph to Elvis (going so far as to address him as "Mr. Whooziwhoozit" --come on, no real names!) and said that he didn't know how we got his address, but we were not to send him anything in the future about our reunion "bullshit" or he would take legal action against us!

Everyone who was remotely involved with this reunion was just howling with laughter at this one. I made copies and put one on each table at the dinner, and we all read it and we all laughed and said how stupid this guy was acting. Okay, you don't want to go, fine you don't want to be contacted in the future. Couldn't Mr. Snitty have said "Please do not contact me in the future" instead? It would have made him look a lot less like an immature boob and he certainly wouldn't have been laughed at.

Why am I telling you this? Well, with all the crap going on at schools these days (hello, MN school shooting? Columbine?) I wonder just what drives a kid to such measures as to go shoot up people he's probably known since elementary school. Yeah, we all pick and get picked on, but what makes it so bad these days?

I never had a VCR, cable TV, a computer, none of that when I was growing up, and I guess where I grew up lead to a pretty sheltered life. Yeah, I got into the booze and cigarettes after school, and I'm not saying I was a "Marcia Brady" or anything, but going to school with a gun? Please. Guns were so common place with the people I knew, for Pete's sake, ever heard of deer season?

What leads a kid to worship Satan or Hitler? Can anyone, especially a teenager, tell me what the hell is so difficult about just being a damn kid these days? Sure, not all of us are popular, jocks, cheerleaders....and I won't say I was picked on, but I wasn't necessarily an outcast or anything.

But COME ON, high "skrewl" is an unfortunate part of everyone's life. And who we are then is NOT who we are now, right? Can we agree that we've grown over the years? My god, I've been out of high "skrewl" for, hmmm...17 years now (!!!!!!!) and I would hope I'm not that same person I was back then. At least I know I'm not a damn liberal Democrat (eeeewwww) anymore.

So, to anyone who reads this, I guess the moral is twofold: get over high school crap, life is just to short to dwell on that; don't send nasty-grams ala Mr. Snitty to your reunion committee or you may just have them read all over the place and you'll be laughed at for the immature boob that you still are!!!

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Wednesday's news

So, Britney really is pregnant. Her and that scuzzy white trash husband of hers. Yuck. Some people should not be allowed to breed. Let's hope she gets all fat and gross like us real women.

John Bolton yelled at somebody! Boo hoo, poor baby. Moving on...

We, my husband and I, took our daughter to that ENT appointment today. We waited longer in the waiting room than the actual appointment took, and they took us late. Damn Socialist health care system anyway. As it turns out, our daughter's hearing is fine even though she has fluid in her ears, and she has her surgery to get tubes in her ears on May 5. My only consolation was the little 2 1/2 year old girl who went in ahead of us. I'm still not totally reassured by the whole thing, I don't like the idea of my baby being put under anesthesia (spelling???) and all that goes with that. Hopefully my husband can get that day off too so he can get our son off the bus and what not.

Ugh, well, that's it so far...I mean, it's only 1:00 in the afternoon, how much could have happened already?

Blah blah blah blah...

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Feelin' GASSY!

I'm sure anyone who ever actually sees this will be just thrilled at the title for this entry. Oh well, piss off if you don't like it!

I have to smile at my husband. He was playing Need for Speed - he wanted to "win something"- and so was playing those challenge races to "unlock" certain cars or race courses. He won one of the races, but got disgusted after a while because of the way the game was going. He plopped the controller down and shut off the system in a huff. It just makes me smile to see him get so snitty over a game.

Boring and boring. Not much here today; I stayed home with my daughter and did laundry and what not. Since the Kindergarten Parent lunch got moved to another day, my husband is still going to take the whole day off and come with me to the doctor appointment for our daughter. For this I have ironed a blouse AND gotten out my Levi's. This is a big deal because these jeans are pre-second baby and they fit, AND they're loose in the butt and thighs. To anyone who has had more than one child this is a big deal. I feel so slim in those jeans, even though they are a size 12.

My son was really tired tonight. That poor kid, all he wants to do is go to the library and I've avoided it. Well, actually, there were very valid reasons why we couldn't go all those times, so I just told him that we could go Saturday and then go get something to eat. He'll like that, and then he can get groceries with me. Oh, he loves that because then he can con me into buying a ton of cookies and candy.

Ah, well, perhaps I'll take a turn at the Playstation. I was going to have more beer, but if I do I'll get all buzzy, and I have to shave my legs tonight. Never shave your legs if you've been drinking. The last time I did that was Christmas Eve, and my husband was amazed that I still had a leg!

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"Mother backs down"

I woke up this morning thinking about that note I was about to send with my son to school today. I decided it made no sense to try to "fight city hall" as it were, so I tore that note up and just stuffed the extra $1.75 in with his lunch money. I'll get my chance to take on the school when I call up to find out the deal on that Parent lunch tomorrow.

It's 6:18 in the morning, and I'm sitting here with my big cup of coffee listening to the windchimes tinkling outside the kitchen window. The local news is on, only so I can find out what the weather will be like today. I must make sure to turn the tube off before that uber-perky Katie Couric rears her ugly head.

Ugh, Tuesday, a day for laundry. Tomorrow is that appointment with the ENT doc about my daughter's ears. Pleasepleaseplease let her ears be okay, but I know they won't be and she'll have to get tubes.

More coffee...MORE COFFEE!!

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Musings

Monday evening. My husband is sitting next to me playing a WW II game and I'm waiting to watch Band of Brothers again. I love that movie. Never mind that we have it on DVD, somehow watching it on TV is pretty cool too...even though I did see it when it was on HBO. Mmmmmm....David Schwimmer!!! Oh well, so what? The kids are in bed and I'm just sitting here, with a severe case of the munchies. I ate the last of the rice krispy (or "krippies) today, so now what? There is that chocolate bunny over there...hmm...

Last week at this time my husband was furiously trying to win races on "Need for Speed" while I watched and cheered him on, munching on "krippies" the whole time. What is it with me and those damn treats anyway? Damn them for there sweet goodness!

I suppose I should just content myself with a Coke. Damn Coca-Cola for it's sweet goodness. No wonder I'm so fat and have zits like a teenager.

I'm bored, can you tell?

Oh, I read Mike Straka's "Grrrr" column on the Fox News website tonight. Apparently I'm not the only one who loathes Jane Fonda. Everything he said about her was right on the mark. I highly recommend checking that out; go to the Fox News website and look for the Strakalogue. Really.

The show is starting. Now really, I love this movie! I just so admire the fact that teenaged boys could just get up and do what they did. One of the members of Easy, in an interview, said that in his hometown there were three guys out of all the boys who joined up that were "4F." Those three boys killed themselves because they couldn't go to war. "Different time," the veteran said. Indeed! No one burned draft cards or hightailed it to Canada. Imagine...

Alright, I'll shut up now.

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"Mother takes on school cafeteria!"

If a headline could have been written about my reaction to the day-glo orange note I got from my son's school, that's what it would have said.

To begin the story with the beginning of the story, my son was dismissed at noon one day a couple weeks ago. He went ahead and got a lunch ticket anyway, even though he knew he wasn't eating lunch at school that day. Well, the cafeteria workers gave him a ticket on their "credit plan." Here's where the twist comes in: the next day I gave him money for two lunches, to pay off his "loan" from the day before. He came home with the extra $1.75!

So today I get this note, explaining that if I don't pay this money back, after the 3rd "offense" he gets peanut butter and jelly instead of the regular lunch. Oh, boo hoo! As any graduate of the public school system knows, sometimes the PB & J is better than the regular lunch! I grudingly got the money out of my wallet, BUT I wrote on said day-glo orange note that he paid for a lunch he never ate. It was all I could do not to write "and shove this $1.75 up your collective arses."

Oh, and what came in the daily mail today! I sat down to browse the "US News" mag with all plans of reading about Charles and Camilla, and there's this little box which encloses an interview with "Hanoi" Jane Fonda! According to her, the right wing is responsible for those "doctored" photos of her and John F-ing Kerry. Did you know that? We right-wingers have apparently been hard at work for years now. First that and then the whole bru-ha-ha with Slick Willie, the cigar, and Monica Lewinski! Oh what a load of crap. And she is a....C*** if there ever was one. She's "born again?" I'm more of a Christian than that sorry excuse for humanity.

And I'm losing my patience with other publications as well. The Women's Day mag, one I love to read for the recipes, has this article about talking to your mother about family diseases and what not. To hear them tell it, if you're fat you'll get heart disease, if you eat too much red meat you'll get heart disease, if you don't FART thrice daily....etc, etc....

Don't get me wrong, with heart disease in my own family I take these things seriously (especially that farting thing...tee hee) but I'm getting tired of these scare tactics. Are we as a whole that stupid?

I guess I've got this off my chest. I feel a bit better now, as if anyone really cared. Oh yeah, my daughter's damn diaper leaked during her nap, so I had to rip the bedding off the crib and throw it in the washer. Just another day in the life, I guess.

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Monday

A friend of mine suggested starting up a blog in order to give myself a forum to express my feelings about this and that, what ever. Well, good idea I say, as it's probably the only way I'll be able to bitch about the G**D*** liberals without getting competely slammed. (Although I'm sure if anyone actually reads this damn thing someone will get a fart crosswise.)

BUT, let me say I don't intend for this to be solely about my loathing of all things Democrat. Ah, no, noodle boy, I'm also a stay-at-home mom, so I have PLENTY to gripe about there. Not always gripe, I have to ammend, but these days...don't get me started!

As the title says, this is Monday. My husband, oh he of the compressed work schedule, has the day off and is at this very moment puttering around outside with the tractor. He managed to acquire some plantings and what not from his mother and is now trying to clear space for them. And for a swing set, which I keep threatening to buy if he doesn't hustle up and just make one himself. For Pete's sake, we have all these damn trees that were cut down, just make one like you say, right? Sheesh.

On the domestic front, today was the ever hated, always dreaded grocery day, but the up side was that I was able to leave my 1 1/2 year old home with my husband. I love this, it gives me an opportunity to drive with the radio REALLY LOUD and scream along at my heart's content. I heard "Proud Mary" ala Tina and Ike, on the drive home. Yeah, I blubbered along...

The reason why I mentioned the grocery shopping was that I managed to make a mess. I was checking out the 20 Mule Team Borax and unbekownst to me spilled some all over the floor. I almost fell on my ample ass, but caught myself and skulked away to the other side of Wal-Mart to look for, I don't know, something else.

So now I have a stocked pantry AND a case of beer. Livin', just livin'!

Hopefully my five year old will bring home info about the Kindergarten Parent lunch on Wednesday. This gives the parents an opportunity to have lunch, at school, with their kid. A fine idea, capital, but why in the hell couldn't they send home something, say, a week in advance? I can't go, I have to take my daughter to the ENT specialist (another rant I'll go into later) and so my husband is going, and since he works an hour away he chose to just take the whole day off. (That work he does, another time!) Anyway, I just think it's damn stupid, not to mention rude, not to give the parents a "heads up."

Stupid bastard liberal school districts anyway!

Hey!!! Why are these damn Dems so afraid of John Bolton anyway? Afraid of the TRUTH??? Stupid bastard liberal goddamn...ARGH!!! Down with the UN!!!

My favorite cooking show is about to start, so I'm going to go watch it. "Paula's Home Cooking," check it out!!!

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