Mean Old Meanie

Son, as you know, has been home these past two days because he has strep throat. Through the very great kindness of my friend, the mother of one of Son's classmates, Son has been getting the work he missed.

Well, this afternoon Son got quite a pile of work (why so much in second grade?) and to say he was less than happy about it would be an understatement.

He kept farting around, and I told him "You've got your spelling pre-test tomorrow, a story to read, all these papers to do, and what adds up to thirty minutes of reading. Get moving!"

If looks could kill, yours truly would be dead now.

Fiddle Dee Dee! Can't You Boys Talk About Anything Else...

...besides trying to re-make Gone with the Wind?

I guess someone really is at a loss for new material if they want to try and improve on a classic.

Can you see this man as Rhett?

No, I can't either. Hugh Jackman? Wolverine? What the hell?

And as for this Jill Pace person, I can't even turn up anything on Google about her!

What a load of CRAP. Plain and simple CRAP. No one did it better than the original cast.

LEAVE THIS MOVIE ALONE!

Thanks to Frankly, My Dear....for tipping me off to this blasphemy.

My Thoughts Exactly!

Agent Bedhead's post about Madonna pretty much sums it up for me.

And, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach?

YOU ROCK!

This Is It, I'm Going Crazy

I took Son to the doctor today and he has strep AGAIN!

No school tomorrow, antibiotics for the next ten days, and when he's all clear, the doc wants to swab Son's throat again to make sure he isn't a strep carrier.

I am officially (mark the date) sick and tired of going to all these doctors. Between running Daughter in for her ears, me for my gut, and Son for his throat, I'm ready to scream.

I'm so frustrated, I not only ate a salad with the forbidden cheese and tomatoes, but I also ate cheesecake!

Trust me, my gut is not happy now.

I Already Knew That!

Paula Deen has a book coming out.

I know. I've already got it pre-ordered from Amazon.

Bleh

I did not watch the Academy Awards last night.

I do not care. I haven't even seen any of those movies.

I tried to watch a movie that won the Best Picture Oscar...in 1939.

Yes, folks, TCM showed Gone with the Wind yesterday, and I happily planted my arse on the couch. That is, until Son decided, right after Rhett and Scarlett got married, that he needed to play video games.

So much for enjoying a classic!

Welcome to My World

I'm not going to church today. Son isn't feeling well, and I'd rather have him miss church than have to stay home tomorrow and miss a day of school.

This means that Husband will have to do double duty today, running the slide show and serving up the chocolate pound cake for coffee hour.

I don't think he's too happy about it, but he says "What choice do I have?"

Well, not much, since I've had to do this before and hated it. It kind of bites when one has to set up and tear down the computer and projector and pack it all up and somehow serve cake at the same time.

God forbid there's no refreshments after church!

Swooner Dreamboat Needs a Nurse!

Ewan McGregor broke his leg!

Poor baby!!!

I really think he needs a good nurse, don't you? I'm just the gal to....give him a sponge bath!

Naughty!

Shoot Me Now

I just finished making Paula Deen's chocolate pound cake.

It's one of the most time intensive desserts I've made to date, counting the red velvet cake.

You see, one has to incorporate the dry ingredients and the buttermilk at intervals into the creamed butter/sugar/shortening mixture, starting and ending with the dry (flour) ingredients.

Ugh. And I can't even have any.

All this is for...church tomorrow. They'd better like it, or they're gonna hear some profanity that will blow their hair back.

Unwashed Masses SALUTE

Today Husband gets his promotion. Officially! I guess some bigwig General is making a big deal about it. Husband, in his usual way, isn't playing this up, not making a big thing about it.

But you know I am!

Harry Potter....Nekkid

Totally NSFW, so click at your own risk.

*giggle*

Long Morning

Well, it's over. Daughter and I were at the surgery center by 7:15 this morning, and around 8:30 she was taken in to the procedure room. Husband had gotten there by then, having had to stay behind to put Son on the bus, and we barely had time to drink our coffee before they called us back to talk to the doctor.

Yes, I drank coffee. Big picture, people.

The tube was taken out of her right ear after the doc cleaned up a bunch of crud. Daughter has to go back in a month for follow-up. In the meantime, let's all hope she doesn't get any ear infections!

Bad Bad Bad!

I'm sitting here eating....chocolate!

Oh shut up. I've been good for two weeks, and they're only M&M's. It's not like I'm inhaling a big Hershey bar.

MAKE NOTE: If you notice a lack of posting here in the next couple days, it's because 1) I have to stay off these here Internets (fookin' dial-up) to wait for the surgery center to call with the time for 2) Daughter's ear surgery on Thursday.

So, depending on how Thursday goes, I may be back then, but if not, Friday for sure.

Miss me????

A Big Bang

No, I'm not referring to my bedroom activities with Husband.

Perverts!

Last week, when it was so cold, Husband and I kept hearing what sounded like something slamming into the roof and sides of our house. At one point I sent him scrambling around to see what the hell was banging around on out porch.

As it turns out, nothing was slamming against the house. We were experiencing "frostquakes." The only reason we found out was because we happened to watch the local news last night, and some other residents of the area had complained about the same thing.

More info here.

And we live a lot further south than Milwaukee!

Snort Worthy

I love that Geico commercial with Little Richard. I laugh like a goober every time I see it.

Soooo...when I looked it up on YouTube I found this, which made me laugh even harder:

A New MeMe

Nancy posted this over at her blog, and it looked like fun, so I decided to post my own.

"Six Weird Things About Me, Bizarre Question Style"

Where were you when you lost your virginity?

In the basement of the guy's parents' house. It wasn't the best introduction to the act, believe me.

What is your secret, comfort food indulgence that you are embarrassed to admit because some may find it disgusting?

Macaroni and milk. I can't remember who introduced that dish to me, but I love it. You know, cooked macaroni with milk, lots of butter and black pepper. Yum!

Name an item you secretly covet, but haven't told anyone about because it doesn't make any sense for you to want such a thing.

Celebrity replica jewelry. I don't know why.

What is the scariest place you've lived (i.e. scary neighborhood or scary apartment, etc)?

Um....do the dorms at college count? Otherwise, not so much.

What was the first thing you felt when you had the first inkling you might be pregnant?

Honest to goodness, it was the day my redheaded cousin was supposed to come to town. I was at work, and had smoked (yes, I am a former smoker) and I knew when my cousin didn't arrive on that exact day, that I was with child. The test I took when I got home from work confirmed my suspicions. And I knew it was going to be a boy. I had an ultrasound when I was seven weeks pregnant (because I'd had a prior miscarriage) and brought the picture home and put it in my Bible....in one of the Gospels that I named Son after.

How many partners have you had? Have all been male?

I've had enough, thank you, and yes, they've all been male.

So, that's it.

Happy Not Presidents Day

I was wrong, this is not Presidents Day.

I remember when, as a small kid, we would get Washington's birthday and Lincoln's birthday off. I was a very happy elementary school kid.

But now? Well, I'm sorry, but I guess I don't feel compelled to celebrate every president. Even I have my limits.

And, just for the record, Son has the day off. Apparently the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing in this hillbilly school district, and after several phone calls to people who would know, the kids don't have school today.

And because Husband is an employee of our armed forces, he has the day off, too.

Hey, Cueball!

Since the world seems transfixed by Britney Shears....uh, Spears...shaving her head (and Howard K. Stern is doing a dance of glee now that media focus has shifted from him for a while), let me say this about that.

Britney obviously has issues. I can't help but thinking that having done the dirtydirty with K-Fed must have scrambled her noggin somehow (one too many boinks on the headboard, Brit?).

But think of the savings! All those hair products she won't need, the styling tools, the hair colors....I applaud her bravery in doing something I've wanted to do for years, yet haven't had the guts to do...gray roots, ya know.

All kidding aside, though, Brit, get your ass the hell out of Hollyweird before Tom Cruise swoops in. You've got two babies to think about! Forget the career for a moment and focus on you.

That Was Some Gift

I went to the doctor Friday afternoon; it was a follow-up after the endoscopy, and I got one hell of an early birthday gift.

I was told that I'll be on this diet for the rest of my life. This hernia is never going to go away! The doctor would, however, refer me to a surgeon if I wanted to have the hernia repaired.

I'm torn. On the one hand, this low-fat diet is better for me, and I have been feeling a bit better these last two weeks. My teeth could certainly use a break from all the pop and coffee and just may get a bit whiter, who knows. And I've lost three pounds.

On the other hand, I'd be on this diet for the rest of my life. No coffee, not even decaf, no more "sweet red devil Coca-Cola," no pizza, no spaghetti sauce, no chocolate. And I'd have to sleep on an incline forever. (As a stomach sleeper, this does not bode well.) And how do I know I wouldn't still have the acid reflux after the surgery? I had it before the hernia, you see.

I feel almost selfish in wanting to have the surgery. More to the point, the doctor made me feel selfish, too. I talked it over with my family, and the majority opinion is to stay on the diet and so forth until I have to go back to the doctor in May. This will also give me time to do some research on the subject of surgery.

I suppose I'm feeling a bit scared by all of this, too, as someone I know actually had esophageal cancer and had his whole esophagus removed. He had a hiatal hernia and acid reflux, too.

But now I put this question to you: faced with this kind of situation, what would you do?

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

"A girl hasn't got but two sides to her at a table."

Yes, it's GroovyVic's birthday, and today I am 37.

Husband, thoughtful man that he is, made my birthday cards by hijacking the pictures on my hard drive. Imagine my surprise when I saw a card with the faces of Clark Gable, Ewan McGregor, Jimmy Page, and Sam Elliot (to name a few).

And not only did he give me a new pair of jammies, but a Joe Satriani anthology and....Paula Deen DVD's!

So, I'm going to enjoy my morning with a forbidden cup of decaf coffee (more on that subject later), served up in my super groovy Led Zeppelin coffee mug.

There's a Full Moon Tonight

And what a moon!

This Just In!

The kids have school Monday!

Yes, because they have three snow days to make up, they will have to go to school on Presidents' Day.

And Easter Thursday and Monday...which kind of throws a monkey wrench into our travel plans, but what the heck. As long as they won't have to go to school past June 1 I can't complain.

It Is Now....

...day four without school. And there's no school on Monday, so you can just imagine how stir-crazy I am right about now.

For the record, I am officially sick and tired of Star Wars in all its forms, whether video game, action figure, book, or movie.

Sick! Sick, I tell you!

I did get a bit of a break last night when I went out to fetch groceries by myself, which, while not my favorite task, I got to blast the radio as loud as I wanted and just had time to wander around Kroger, not looking at all the left-over Valentine's chocolate.

Oh, and the coyote made an appearance last night and Husband was able to see the beastie for himself. I suggested calling the little bastard "Broken Toe."

Look What the Cat Dragged In

Gawd. As if watching the sexual exploits of Peter Brady and Flava Flav weren't enough, now we're going to be treated to Poison front man Bret Michaels and his search for rock-n-roll love.

Um. Yeah. Okay. Maybe, I don't know, twenty years ago this would have been a big deal for me, but now? Not so much.

And, "sold-out tours?" Do county fairs count as sold-out tours?

What. Ever.

What happened to playing music videos?????

Any Plans Today?

Where ever you are, I hope that you enjoy the day with a sweetie.

I certainly will, as I'm essentially housebound with Husband and the younglings today. Snow! Ice! The Sheriff has put the county on "Level 3" which means stay off the roads! You could be arrested!

It's going to be quite a day.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here's to hoping you find yourself in just such an embrace over the course of the day!

Night Shift

Want to know what the doctors on General Hospital do at night?

Me either, but apparently SOAPNet thinks we need to know.

Yeah, I may watch it, who knows, but I really only watch GH to see Jason and Sonny.

Hel-lo boys!

If you watch GH, let me ask you, don't you think it would be so appropriate for Carly to yell "You f**king bastards!" at the group holding them hostage?

And, btw, Jason had better not die in the explosion at the Metro Court!!!

The Weather Outside is Frightful

All the schools in this area are closed today, and Husband says the roads were pretty bad this morning.

So, I'm home with both the younglings today, and will be doing my very best not to read anything about Anna Nicole Smith. I'll immerse myself in a biography of Robert Mitchum

That's Very Helpful

So, yeah, I've got a broken toe, and it hurts like the devil if I put any weight on my toes. So I'm sort of walking on the side of my foot.

Well, that isn't going to work, because this morning I twisted my ankle! Now my toe and my ankle hurt!

Shall I try to go for the whole leg?

What He Said

I did not watch the Grammy Awards last night. Somehow spending three hours at church was more appealing to me than watching the show, even if The Police performed.

But I've got to agree with Gary. It's all a bunch of Lefties handing out awards to like-minded arse bites.

At least I didn't have to listen to the chubby one flap her yap.

Oh Well, Whatever, Nevermind

Church today. Yep, we went, with the exception of Husband, who has to work today.

The day got off to a rough start when, as I was getting the younglings dressed, Son yells "Look at that!" and there's a coyote, I swear, running down our driveway. In my haste to get to the phone to tell Husband, I stubbed my toe on one of the bar stools and...

"Ouch! F**k! Motherf**ker! Son of a f**k!"

Probably not the most appropriate words to scream right before church, but it hurt!

And the piggie who stayed home is broken.

Once at church, it was my unhappy duty to run the PowerPoint presentation. All went well, for the most part, until I tried to use the remote and it didn't work! It wasn't until I placed a frantic call to Husband that I found out there were no batteries in the remote.

Dammit!

All was remedied after I humiliated myself in front of everyone. I wasn't paying attention at one point and advanced the slides, only to find that I wasn't supposed to. Whooooops!

Oh well. Whatever. Nevermind.

They Call You The Bandit Birthday

Happy Birthday to Burt Reynolds, who turns 71 today!

I confess, Burt is one of my favorite actors, and Smokey and the Bandit is one of my favorite movies.

For the good old American lifestyle: For the money, for the glory, and for the fun... mostly for the money.

Have a happy day, Burt!!

Geraldo's Gonna Get It!

Geraldo Rivera had better watch his back. He's about to be sued by an Erie, PA woman...and she killed her last two boyfriends.

Marjorie Diehl-Armstrong versus Geraldo Rivera.

It's an unusual matchup, but one that is really on its way to taking place, in some form or another, at the Erie County Courthouse.

The unsolved case of Brian Wells, the victim in the pizza bomber case, is believed to be at the center of the dispute.

The lawyer for Diehl-Armstrong has filed a one-page legal document indicating that the well-known figure in the Wells investigation plans to sue the well-known Fox News correspondent, who extensively featured Diehl-Armstrong in "The Pizza Bomber Mystery," his nationally televised special on the Wells case in August 2005.

The one-page document, known as a writ of summons, filed at the courthouse Tuesday, is a precursor to a full-blown civil complaint. The writ provides no indication about the claims in the potential suit, and it states only that Diehl-Armstrong is putting Rivera on notice that she "has commenced a legal action" against him.

Diehl-Armstrong is serving a seven- to 20-year state prison sentence for her plea of guilty but mentally ill to charges that she fatally shot her boyfriend, James Roden, whose body was found in a freezer in September 2003.

Diehl-Armstrong's personal lawyer, Leonard D'Ambrosio, who filed the writ, was unavailable for comment. The court records show no record of whether D'Ambrosio has arranged to have the writ served on Rivera, who works for Fox News, based in New York City.

A spokeswoman for Fox had no comment.

"We don't comment on pending litigation," she said.

Lawyers for Fox will get a chance to respond to the writ -- and any suit that might follow -- by filing documents at the Erie County Courthouse. No matter what happens with a civil suit, the filing of the writ alone adds yet another dimension to the bizarre case of Wells, the 46-year-old pizza deliveryman who was killed when a bomb locked to his neck exploded after he attempted to rob a bank in Summit Township on Aug. 28, 2003.

Rivera's special, which first aired Aug. 20, 2005, focused on Diehl-Armstrong, 57, who is at the State Correctional Institution at Muncy.

Based on interviews the Erie Times-News has conducted with people close to the case, Diehl-Armstrong is known to have been upset with Rivera's portrayal of her. Rivera in the report alluded to Diehl-Armstrong's past, including her acquittal on charges that she killed another boyfriend, Robert Thomas, in the mid-1980s.

Much of the FBI investigation into the Wells case has focused on people associated with Diehl-Armstrong. Police on Sept. 21, 2003, found Roden's body in a freezer at the then-residence of William A. Rothstein, a handyman and electrician who was twice engaged to Diehl-Armstrong.

Rothstein's house was at 8645 Peach St. in Summit Township, near the spot where the FBI believes Wells had the bomb locked to his neck after he stopped to deliver pizza. The FBI questioned Rothstein in the Wells case up to the day Rothstein died of cancer at age 60 in July 2004.

As part of the Wells probe, the FBI in March and May searched a house at 617 Perry St. in Erie, then the residence of Kenneth E. Barnes, another of Diehl-Armstrong's acquaintances. Barnes is in Erie County Prison, where he was sentenced in August to serve 11½ to 23 months followed by 12 years of probation on drug charges.

Source: Erie Times-News

Snort Worthy

This is a good one.

Stick that in your jet, Nancy.

(Source: Franky, My Dear)

Say It Isn't So!

There may be a big screen version of...wait for it...wait for it...

The Hardy Boys

But! This version may star...wait for it...Tom "You're Glib!" Cruise.

Tom, I've got just one thing to say. You're no Shaun Cassidy. Or Parker Stevenson, for that matter. What are you going to do, jump on the couch when you solve a mystery? Please, don't tell me you'll cast Kat(i)e as Nancy Drew.

This just speaks volumes about Hollywood's total lack of good ideas.

My Theme Song

It's "that kind of week," so here is my theme song, set to a groovy neat-o video:

Uninspired

If it seems like I haven't been posting all that much in the last few days, you're right. School was closed Monday through Wednesday, so I was busy keeping Son entertained.

Yesterday I had to take Daughter back to the dreaded ear doctor, and no, I didn't call ahead to see how long I'd have to wait. I kind of figured when we all (I had to take Son, too) trooped in to the waiting room and there were no seats for me that I'd be there a while. I sat way back in the kiddie section on a very low plastic child's picnic table. At some point I stood up and glared at the nurses behind the glass window because I was starving and they were stuffing their faces.

So, with two hungry children, I waited TWO HOURS. Yes, that's right, two. Just as I was about to stomp out in a huff, we were called back. I guess it's a good thing I stayed around, because Daughter's right ear is packed with crud; she must have had an infection that we didn't know about, since all the gunk would have dripped out the tube. The doctor didn't want to try digging the stuff out and hurt Daughter, so she's going to be put to sleep on the 22nd so he can get in there.

He mentioned possibly removing her adenoids at some point, but for now it's a clean up and see if she has any more infections. Her hearing in her right ear is pretty bad, too.

I looked at him and seriously thought of asking him if that means I have to endure more hellish waits to see him, but I kept my mouth shut.

Daughter, on the other hand, farted quite loudly at the nurse practitioner, which I think conveyed our dissatisfaction at having to wait so long.

And, I'm going to admit that I cheated on my diet. I ate McDonald's. Oh, be quiet. I was starving, and the last thing I wanted was a fookin' salad and a plain baked potato. Bleh!

Cump Sherman's Birthday

On this day in 1820, William Tecumseh Sherman was born.

Here's something from his bio that I just love:

He was noted for his absolute refusal to be drawn into politics.

Jam and Bees and Hoddd Birthday

Happy Birthday to my favorite comedian and actor, Eddie Izzard, who turns 45 today!

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!

I Hate This Diet

Conversation between Husband and myself last night:

ME: "I'd sell YOU for a Big Mac right about now."

HUSBAND: "Thanks a lot."

And between Husband and myself tonight:

ME: "I want chocolate!"
(said as I buried my face in my hands)

HUSBAND: "*snort*"

ME: "Don't laugh at me! I've been reduced to trying to find a recipe I can use to make a birthday cake for myself that I can actually eat!"

BASTARD ACID REFLUX!!!

Win One For the Gipper Birthday

I miss Ronald Reagan.

Happy Birthday!!!

Ice Ice Baby

Newsflash: It's cold.

So cold, in fact, that there was no school today, and by the looks of things, tomorrow may be a wash, too.

Today has been fun, not. Although, I will say that Son was more than happy to watch a movie (Star Wars Episode I) on one of our bazillion laptops in his room while Daughter took a nap.

Too damn cold!

Have Some!

Because I'm in a giggly mood (it must be this old fart diet I'm on), here's something that makes me snort every time:

Home!

Yeah, it's Sunday morning, 8:49 a.m., and I'm still in my jammies.

"But GroovyVic! You're supposed to be ready to go to church!"

You'd be right, except that Daughter is sick and didn't sleep well last night. I opted to stay home with her instead of forcing Her Royal Snottiness on the other kids in Children's Church.

The kicker is I was supposed to work the nursery today and, well, now I can't!

Soooo, here I sit, until such time as I venture out into the bitter cold to get my "special diet" food. You know, every fat-free and no-taste thing I can find at Kroger. Oh yeah, and I have to pick up Son from a birthday party.

And I want to throw this out to you: Tyra Banks supposedly weighs 161. So do I. Does that make me fat?

"Kiss my fat ass!"

No More Mr. Nice Guy Birthday

Happy Birthday to that lover of chickens, Alice Cooper, who turns 59 today!

Snort Worthy

It's Been A Hard Day's Night

"He's very clean"

Anakin! You're Breaking My Heart!

Gee whiz, talk about not getting typecast!

Hayden Christiansen may have been showing Sienna Miller his "lighsaber" during the filming of a s-e-x scene for Factory Girl.

That is so NOT the way of the Jedi.

*giggle*

(Thanks to Agent Bedhead for providing links)

A King's Birthday

Happy Birthday to The King of Hollywood, Clark Gable, who was born on this day in 1901!

I suppose I could run over to nearby Cadiz, OH (his birthplace) to the Clark Gable museum for the birthday celebration, but I think I'll curl up with some of his movies instead.

Do I have to tell you which one I'll watch first?