January 11, 2006

That's news?

Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad ArmPitt's spawn. Oh great, here we go again.

You know what I mean, this pregnancy is going to be treated like it's the first one ever, no other woman has ever had a baby, and we're going to get a blow by blow of Jolie's celebrity packed baby showers where she's given $1000 burp cloths.

And don't forget that emotion packed televised message from her dad, John Voight.

Angelina is so weird, she'll probably view giving birth as some kinky sexual thing and get all turned on by it. Like I said when Britney Spears was preggers, if there is any justice in this world, Angelina will be big as a house, have hemorrhoids, swollen feet, ankles and hands, be generally miserable...and pukey for the first, oh, three or four months.

And I want to see a fat, post-partum Jolie. With dirty hair and zits and big, dark circles under her eyes. Brad Pitt should look suitably crappy as well. These Hollywood bastards should have to be just like the rest of us!