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January 11, 2006

That's news?

Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad ArmPitt's spawn. Oh great, here we go again.

You know what I mean, this pregnancy is going to be treated like it's the first one ever, no other woman has ever had a baby, and we're going to get a blow by blow of Jolie's celebrity packed baby showers where she's given $1000 burp cloths.

And don't forget that emotion packed televised message from her dad, John Voight.

Angelina is so weird, she'll probably view giving birth as some kinky sexual thing and get all turned on by it. Like I said when Britney Spears was preggers, if there is any justice in this world, Angelina will be big as a house, have hemorrhoids, swollen feet, ankles and hands, be generally miserable...and pukey for the first, oh, three or four months.

And I want to see a fat, post-partum Jolie. With dirty hair and zits and big, dark circles under her eyes. Brad Pitt should look suitably crappy as well. These Hollywood bastards should have to be just like the rest of us!

Show Comments

Posted by Groovyvic at 06:41 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Comments

To keep things in perspective, you DO have to take a little pity on the baby. Poor kid's just a few cells old and it's already guaranteed a screwed up life with those two as parents.

Posted by: Brian B at January 12, 2006 10:42 AM

I echo what Brian said. Poor kid doesn't stand a chance.

Posted by: thirdee at January 12, 2006 11:19 AM

That baby is going to have lipslipslips. It'll make Mick Jagger's look pathetic.

Yeah, it sucks for the kid.

Posted by: GroovyVic at January 12, 2006 03:06 PM