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April 12, 2006

Workin' 9 to 5

When I was signing up and having my fat ass measured at Curves on Monday, the woman who was working with me mentioned that she has a degree and that she subs in some of the local schools. I mentioned that I also have a degree, in education, but that I haven't subbed in years, to which she informs me that when my youngest is in school all day I can get on some sub lists.

Done. She assumes I just want to go back to work.

But what if I don't? Does that make me a terrible person? What if I, for the most part, like being home?

See, here's the deal: Husband's job has the potential of taking him out of town, out of the country even, and early on this was an issue. He missed a lot of Son's first few years, and I think Husband feels bad about that. But I was always the constant in Son's life, always there. If I were to go back to work and Husband got activated, what then?

Am I selfish? Lazy? See, that "L" word bothers me, because I'm not lazy. Oh, I have my days, but don't we all? I like the fact that I can be here for my kids, know what's going on with them...for some reason I keep thinking back to when I was a teenager and I got into the booze at 14 because I could! No one was home to know what I was doing!

And now, with the Internet and all that crap out there...

I know there are moms out there who work outside the home, and I have nothing but respect for them. I wonder how they do it, how they can keep going after 5 o'clock. How do you do it, anyway???

This is not to say that I think I'm some hotshot perfect mom because I stay home. I get sick of the same old, I get cabin fever. I get annoyed with Dora and The Wonder Pets.

I'm so confused. And worried. What if Husband starts to resent me? Or think I'm lazy???

*sigh*

Show Comments »

Posted by Groovyvic at 05:45 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
Comments

I've been thinking alot about going back to work also. I feel invisible as a stay-at-home parent. You like being a stay-at-home parent Everyone is different. And no, continuing to be a stay-at-home parent does NOT make one lazy (regardless of what anyone else thinks). You have to do what's right for your family. Nobody can make that decision for you.

You could tutor at home, although probably at the end of the day with your kids, the last thing you want to deal with is more kids!

Posted by: junebee at April 12, 2006 11:43 AM

My sister and I just had this conversation...Her husband is military, and she actually did some subbing and had a PT job. BUT now she is a mom, and doesn't want to work. The conclusion we came to is that as a military wife it is her job to take care of the family, household, etc..., and her husband. Like you said you never know when they will be gone, and it is the wifes job to hold it all together for them!

Also, I have a FT job, and I love it. How I do it...I love to clean and do laundry (it's therapeutic to me), but I also have a cleaning lady every two weeks. I have a wonderful babysitter, who is like another grandma to my kids. Finally, my husband wants me to work and he does all the cooking when he can, and is great with the kids. There is no winner to the argument who has it worse the stay at home or the working mom....

Finally, I go to curves. I LOVE IT!!! It is the best thing I have done for myself. I have only lost 5-6 pounds, but I have lost 10+ inches, and am toning up well. Most importantly though, I feel better and have more energy. I was an on again off again dieter / exerciser, but I have actually stuck to this.

Posted by: kim at April 12, 2006 12:17 PM

With my youngest in 2nd grade, I am always asked when I am going back to work. I always tell people, "when I do, I'm sure you'll hear about it."

Posted by: Theresa at April 12, 2006 01:09 PM

I don't see anything lazy about being a SAHM. In fact, I envy you that you can afford to. For us it's an issue of income, and we don't have much of a choice -- for now.

It boils down to the fact that you're doing what you think is best for your family. Don't let anyone talk down to you for that.

Posted by: Brian B at April 13, 2006 11:16 AM