June 28, 2006

Grocery store hijinks

You'll love this. Picture it:

I'm all done checking out at Kroger and somehow can't fit all the bags into the cart. Well, I could, but then I'd crush the eggs and bread. Anyway, I steer the heavily burdened cart out with one hand and my hips, while carrying a bag containing eggs and a rather large pizza that won't fit any bag with the other hand.

Hilarity ensues!

As I'm passing through the whooshing automatic doors, a young man (who, I believe, is the step-son of one of the church Elders...grrr) notices me and asks if I need help. (He also "ma'am-ed" me...grrrr.) I gave him a cheery NO and moved on.

Then a bag with the potato chips started to slip, I made a grab, the cart went careening out of my hands, and the pizza fell out of the box, on to the ground.

No worries, the pizza was uncooked and well wrapped in plastic, but still.

I had to try to get the cart under control first, before it hit a car, and then try to get that damn pizza before a minivan rolled over it.

But HARK! I hear the slap-slap of sneakers on asphalt as The Young Man rushes over the grab my pizza, whereupon he put it back in the box and asked if I could handle everything. I said yes, and moved on to La Tahoe to load up.

Am I humiliated? No! I live to make an ass out of myself, don't you know that by now?

No, actually I was still seething over these women who stand in the middle of the damn aisle, making it impossible to move past them, and then they look at you like "What's your problem?" But, then, I gripe about that every week.

And I was in a hurry to get home...since I had all this perishable stuff and all. And I was grinding my teeth a bit because I had to buy extra stuff to prepare for the weekend...and I forgot the damn fruit snacks for the younglings!

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