April 18, 2007

Gross, But Kind of Cool

Today I went in to the hospital for that barium swallow test.

(I swallowed! Tee hee!)

Anyhoo, first I spilled those fizzie thingies. You know what I'm talking about, those faux pop rocks that expand the stomach. Once I actually ingested the fizz, the fun began.

The radiologist walks in, and the conversation proceeded:

Me - "Didn't you read my mammogram a couple months ago?"

Doc - "If there was a man at the imaging place, yes, it was me."

Me - "Ha ha! First you look at my boobs, and now you're lookin' at my gut!"

The doctor was not amused.

Oh well. You can't say I don't try to make conversation.

Despite the disgusting barium, and not being able to burp (something I love to do), watching that stuff go down my esophagus and seeing my stomach was kind of cool. The doc said "You're refluxing right now!" in a stunned sort of voice.

Then he told me he didn't see a hernia.

What? Hello? No hernia? Um....okay. Someone saw or didn't see something and now what the piss?

Now.....I am home, drinking plenty of fluids to get the barium out of my system. Good times, gooooood times.