August 26, 2007

Home Today

We're home, thanks for asking. How about a brief recap, hmmm?

Day 1 - Friday

We started off fine, until we stopped for gas a half hour into our trip and the AC decided to poop out. This was a sickening trend that La Tahoe would carry out sporadically on our trip, making for some very cranky people.

Anyway, somehow we wound up on a road in PA that was named, I kid you not, "Shades Of Death." Uh-huh. That was just over the border from WV. The air conditioning decided to start working somewhere east of Washington PA, much to our relief.

I noticed, while driving somewhere in MD, that those smaller, more fuel efficient cars were the ones that were driving like schmucks and waaay over the posted speed limit. Husband noticed one such schmuck who apparently had no concept of complimentary lane changes when someone is entering the highway from an on-ramp. It turns out that said jerk was a young chick driving, you guessed it, one of those fuel efficient jobbies. She, and her young male companion, gave us dirty looks as they sped past. I noticed her "Keep Abortion Legal" bumper sticker, at which point I yelled "HEY! Check out the two un-aborted babies in the back seat, wench!" (Which is why I have the damn Tahoe...) And girlie, if you keep driving like that you're gonna need a new rubber band for your engine.

We found Ft. Frederick and took a look around. The kids were more interested in a mouse, twitching in the last stages of the dying process. I noted a good amount of bat poo, after which I ran shrieking "Don't touch anything! Don't touch anything!"

We finally got to our motel in Hagerstown, MD. Let me just say that I don't think we're going to go for the economy accommodations again. The toilet was, erm...well, let's just say that the last person to stay in that room didn't exactly leave it in the nicest condition. And the shower curtain was covered with mold. This was too much, so after we gorged at IHOP, I made Husband take me to Wal-Mart to get supplies so I could clean the toilet. He also got a plunger from the front desk of the motel, and I requested a new shower curtain.

Note to self: always carry Clorox wipes and toilet wand with refills when traveling.

Day 2 - Saturday

Damn hot. Fookin' hot. My gawd it was hot.

Gettysburg, while still my favorite place to visit, is full of schmucks. I don't know if it's because I've been there so many times or because I've studied that place most of all, but when I hear these tourists blather onandonandon I just want to say "Shaddup!"

We went to the Hall of Presidents, per Son's request. *yawn* The likenesses on some of the more recent presidents was pretty good, but BillyJeff looked more like John Travolta with a pig snout, and if what they had was supposed to be President George W. Bush....well, hell, I look more like Bush than that wax figure!

As for the battlefield, we checked out the Culp's Hill area, it being the least full of soccer players (some kind of tournament) and idiot, rude drivers. Behold, the kids:

I have concluded, after Saturday, that La Tahoe must have some Harry Potter-esque Invisibility Cloak. Despite the fact that it is huge, red, and has daytime running lights, it is invisible to any other driver on the road.

Note to the public at large: I am a lot bigger than you, so stop forkin' around!

Um...that's about it for that. Once again, I ate waaay too much, and for the first time in three months had The Sweet Red Devil Coca-Cola. It was good, but I think I'll stick to sweet tea.

Day 3 - Sunday

We drove home. That's about it. We only stopped once, in Breezewood, PA to fuel up and get coffee.

It was, for the most part, a good time. I think if we go to Gettysburg again it will be, like, Easter or something. It's just ri-goddamn-diculous anymore.