July 02, 2008

I'll Believe It When I See It

Well, I don't really want to see it, but you know what I mean.

Nicole Kidman, the envy of pregnant women everywhere because she barely even looks pregnant, has made a mix tape to listen to while she gives birth.

Sorry, I meant to say "compilation CD." Do the kids even know what a tape is anymore?

So yeah, it makes me laugh. When I was preparing to have Son (and I looked vastly more pregnant than Ms. Kidman, I assure you) all those childbirth books and what not said "have soothing music to listen to."

I call BULLSHIT on that one. I was going to take in a Led Zeppelin tape (it soothes me, shut up), but know what? I was so scared and nervous because, you know, I'd never had a baby before, and HEY I was in f*cking pain beyond belief that I wouldn't have cared if Jimmy Page himself was standing at the foot of the bed strumming his Les Paul.

Maybe Nicole can keep it together better than I did, I don't know, but all I can say to her is EPIDURAL!!! I mean, hell, after all that Botox she jammed into her forehead, wouldn't she want to numb her hoo-ha too?

Thankew Mr. Atoz

Show Comments »