April 27, 2005

Flash memories

Ever had some memory just pop into your head? That happened to me this morning. For what ever reason I was reminded of "Senior Walk" in college. This was when all the graduating seniors started at one end of town and hit every bar until they got to the other end of town. It was a small town to begin with, only maybe four bars or so, but by the time we were done it was more like senior crawl.

Anyway, I was reminded of this guy who hit on me. He was a former fraternity brother of a guy I'd gone out with (okay, was engaged to) and had quit the fraternity. So, I'm talking to this brother and explaining to him that I was not the cause of ex-boyfriend quitting the fraternity. I can't remember if the "brother" had pledged with him or what, but this guy was all like "Well, of course we thought that, but it wasn't a big deal. What are you doing after this?" In my drunken state I just sort of looked at him, and then he was all like "Come back to my place." Dumbass me, I told him "I'm seeing someone! I'm faithful!" Dumbass me. I should have gone back to that guy's place for a one-nighter.

Why am I going into this? Mainly because I was a stupid dope who was faithful to a guy who was so confused he didn't know whether to "scratch his watch or wind his butt." Had I known then how things would turn out with that guy I was so faithful to, well, let's just say I wouldn't have been so damn loyal. He wasn't.

As for that fraternity guy, I don't remember his name, and I seriously doubt if I ever cross his mind. Gawd, thirteen years later!

I shouldn't have been so damn serious about that guy I was seeing. But, I was young and "in love," and thought this was it. The guy, he's married now with two kids, and a damn liberal. I email him every once in a while (we got into a big fight after the election) and I wonder just why I was so ga-ga over him in the first place. Political affiliation aside, we had nothing in common. Although, thirteen years ago I was liberal, and young AND stupid AND I drank heavily. Well, it was college after all, hotbed of liberalism. Must have been all the SEX!

Regrets? Don't have 'em, I just look at that crap as a learning experience. I'm not bitter, hell no, bitter about a lost one-night stand? Oh, no. Somehow, even back then, sex in a frat house wasn't that attractive to me. Ever been in one? Woof.

But I digress. Being home all the time I have a lot of opportunities to thumb through memories and rehash things. If I could go back knowing what I know now things would be different. (Think "Peggy Sue Got Married.") But I like how things have turned out. I'm happy where I'm at and I wouldn't change my life for anything.

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